A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only". Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman." -TkdWarrior-
WOMAN'S PRAYER: Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep. One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who's loves to listen long. One who thinks before he speaks. When he says he'll call, he won't wait weeks. I pray that he is gainfully employed. When I spend his cash, he won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door. Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to "How big is my behind?" I pray that this man will love me to no end, And never attempt to hit on my friend. Amen. MAN'S PRAYER: I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge **** who owns a liquor store and a boat. Amen. -TkdWarrior-
I've got one for ya! When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: 1) The woman goes to the store 2) The woman makes the salad, vegetables and dessert 3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man, who is lounging beside the grill, beer in hand. 4) The man places the meat on the grill. 5) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery. 6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer whilst he deals with the situation. 7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman. 8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table. 9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. 10) Everyone praises man and thanks him for his cooking efforts. 11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!
love them all, lol All the women could do with a man who's prepared to do a good massage, problem is no man knows had to give one , heaven indeed but no such luck lol. fallentoa
We only have your word for it , I wonder why you just massage women and not men lol answers on a postcard please lol. lisa xx :Angel: :Angel:
Because massage for a man often triggers the brain patterns that are too similar to other stimulus for my liking. Women treat it as a relaxing treatment, which it is........ Any ladies want to go to ScotMAP meet, I'll kindly volunteer my services. Cant say fairer than that now can I?
Not true, when I give a massage man or woman, they can feel my intention. I can also feel how they are receiving it. If a guy or a girl wants to get a massage from me and starts (even for a second) to get sexually aroused I immediately bring the depth of the session to a point where they have NO CHOICE but to pay attention to the work being done. Deep tissue massage requires a high level of concentration just to cope with it. wishIcouldstilldomassageforalivingMartialartsnobout!
I've seen some cases where the roles are totally reversed.. Like the guy stays at home with an apron while the girl goes and is a lumberjack. Happens all the time. Sweet. :woo:
SilatPupil, After all that, I was all getting excited on getting a massage from you and I've checked the dates and I'll be in Kent. Oh well lol, can I have a rain check on the massage lol, maybe at the next meet up. lisa xx
The other night, my wife and I were getting dressed before going out for dinner. She put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara, toner, blush and lipstick, then turned to me and said, "Does this look natural?" -TkdWarrior-
lol....heard that song before, but in a version I couldnt post here ----------------- silatpupil... Pm me that song... -TkdWarrior-
A young lady came home from a date rather sad. She told her mother, "He proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked. "Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell!" Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is." -TkdWarrior-
