What do you think would happen if you: -stop reacting to things that you have time to think about first. (ie there's not a bus about to hit you so you have time) -stop needing to be 'right' all the time (so justifications wouldn't be your first priority) -stop judging/labeling everything you see as good or bad -stop comparing yourself to others -stop seeking approval from others -stop being selfish or a burden to others -stop desiring things you do not need for your body's survival (things beyond food, water, air) -stop starting most sentences with "I" or "My" Would you still have a personality left and if so what would it be like. How do you think people would react to you? It has to be if you stopped doing all of the above, not just one or two. You can try narrowing it down to specific situations for clarity's sake. For example, what would happen if someone punched you in the face and you stopped doing all the things in the list?
I'd hazard a guess that many people would see you as a saint, many as a madman, many would consider you to be robotic, and a lot of people would find you really quite frightning to be around. Note that I've only thought about your question for a couple of minutes and rattled an "off the top of my head" reply here. Interesting question though - no doubt it'll be rattling around my head all tomorrow morning!
If stopping doing these things was not a burden to you in itself then you may be happy, although others would consider you extremely boring with no personality at all.
I talk about myself so little at work that hardly anyone knows anything about my life outside of work. I have one picture of me underwater with a friend so they know I dive but thats about it. I really don't care or react to other peoples opinions unless they ask me so theres no need to talk about those things. I really don't react to other, outside stimuli. I just sort of absorb the situation and go on.
neat. i'm curious as to how you became this way, or if you just always were naturally. and how old you are. I've not seen nonreactivity among teens unless they were suppressing their feelings no end
That list sounds quite a good one. Where did you find it - or did you write that by yourself? I don't think that means that when someone punched you in the face you should do nothing. Of course it's sane to run away from situations like these. It's possible (not labeling you! ) to confuse this kind of life philosophy to be passive philosphy - and think it's a bad thing as you do "nothing". But others find this to be the true freedom... and think it's they way to do anything, with joy and happiness. I belong to the second category (gee... I went through my reply and noticed I mentioned "I" 4 times in 6 sentences... had to change those... altough now I did this 3 more times. Huh )
Not saying "I" or "My" is next to impossible sometimes, but it's often overused by many people, and usually only the person you're talking to notices your self-absorbtion. I came up with the list last night after pondering which typical things seem to get me (and others) into trouble. I'm not sure if the list is complete but it seems to cover enough things that if they were stripped away most, if not all, of the daily problems and reactions would cease to exist. But if they are habits and habits aren't breakable so much as replaceable, then perhaps it is unrealistic to just stop doing these things unless we replace them with something positive (even if that positive thing is merely to not think of anything at all) i agree that it doesn't mean you have to be passive. it's more a stripping out 'drama' from situations. From the book "Stillness Speaks": "Situations don't make you unhappy. They may cause you physical pain, but they don't make you unhappy. Your thoughts make you unhappy. Your interpretations, the stories you tell yourself make you unhappy. “The thoughts I'm thinking right now make me unhappy.” This realization breaks you unconscious identification with those thoughts. “What a miserable day.” “He didn't have the decency to return my call.” “She let me down.” Little stores we tell ourselves and others, often in the form of complaints. They are unconsciously designed to enhance our always deficient sense of self through being right and making something or someone wrong. Being right places us in a position of imagined superiority and so strengthens our false sense of self, the ego. This also creates some kind of enemy. Yes, the ego needs enemies to define its boundary. And even the weather can serve that function. Through habitual mental judgment and emotional contraction you have a personalized reactive relationship to people and events in your life. These are all forms of self-created suffering but are not recognized as such because to the ego they are satisfying. The ego enhances itself through reactivity and conflict. How simple life would be without those stories. “It is raining.” “He did not call.” “I was there, she was not.”
I am not sure about doing all the above at once but over the last year I have been trying to implement them in my life... I have become a calmer person and more confident/secure in myself... I speak what I feel or think (as diplomatically as possible) and find that this has cleared through much crap... I dont react straight away (or if I do I will think why did I react that way before showing it) to situations that I would have last year... I certainly have stopped needing to be right all the time... (something my wife is much appreciative of...lol... I have also noticed that I dont judge or prejudge as much... but then one of my biggest philosophies in my life is that it may not be important to me but to the other person its just as important as if it were important to me... (if you get my drift)... I have never compared myself nor sought approval to/from others... the rest is explained above... Nice post GT3
To strip yourself of all these defence mechanisms, surely we would become as joyful and blissful as children, and as wise as the elders with the foreknowledge we gain as adults! To exist without the weight of these essentially small petty concerns would be a relief - you would become a person that would smile and laugh and just enjoy living. Who doesn't want to have that either for themselves or in their life?!
I reckon you'd end up like Commander Data off Star Trek, only you wouldn't "aspire to be human". (Yep, that's the end result of a day's thought on this, pretty lame eh? )
What would happen if a totally unqualified person decided to reprogram themselves? It's fairly unlikely they would remain psychologically in concert with human social organisation. Best to have specific goals in mind if you're going to mess about up in your head, so as to remain clear on your sense of identity. Let's say you decided to play around up there and suddenly found you could no longer hold a conversation in which somebody didn't take you all wrong. Who are you going to ask for help? Sorry, get in line behind all the abused children and homeless people, when you're half dead and ready to go take it out on someone we'll listen or put you in jail or something. Don't mess with (natural) human social organisation, as Mr Myagi said, "...even if win, you lose." Daniel Laru in the Karate Kid thought he had to alter his natural self in order to equalise a natural social organisation which included himself. What he was really doing was wanting to become something other than himself, rather than showing others what he was made of just how he was in the first place. So before you start reprogramming yourself, go and paint the fence. If the urge to break something pretty strikes you again, sand the floor or wax your mum's car. Be a man.
Detachment and compassion gt3 are the mark of the sage & onion . Your post spoke about detachment. The thing is there is external and internal detachment you can still have passion and fun, and defend yourself. detaching from those things you spoke of is not that hard with the right mindset. That's were the other part comes in. "understand, you can love, and the situation will change" Thich Nhat Hahn Peace is every step sometimes its good to be detached, sometimes it good to be involved
I have no idea of what I would be like, to be honest. But I certainly wouldn't be me. The ones I bolded are a real problem because of work. I am a litigator, and it requires me to think fast, be aggressive, competitive, and argumentative. I'm not really selfish, nor am I so self-centered I don't know how to listen (a good aspect of the job; I have to be able to listen to my clients and it generally carries over to the rest of my life). I guess really I'd have to echo what Sandus said. Come and get to know me.
Welcome back sh d, great reply mate. I think it's positive too like you say. You alway have to work at it though I think - keeping balanced that is. Conversely allowing yourself to be detached from certain things allows your true nature and character to come through, which means you're happier and the people around you get the benefit too.
I don't see the problem, I work in competative environments and see it as an advantage. I dont think the things you mentioned are negatively affected - they will still be part of you - maybe just the way you veiw them will change. I think you alrady do it TBH. When you are out of work I'm sure you must be more mild mannered & agreeable Sometimes what you have to be - firm, fair, competative is not how 'you' have to be all the time. If you do your best is that competative?
He. He. He. You don't know me very well, lol. I am ubercompetitive. I'd love to leave the Courthouse personality, well, in the courthouse. Plus I need to calm down, even in court.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I kind of treat it a bit like martial arts, If I have to be agressive at work - which is fairly often, it is clear headed and with a purpose. I do my best. Although usually trouble comes looking for me. I know a few lawyers, a very argumentative bunch! I actively avoid getting into rhetoric with them!
