Trying to sleep properly.

I used to want to be able to sleep lightly. Now I say "forget that." Now I want to sleep properly. I never sleep more than four or five hours a night, if I even sleep at all. Sometimes I sleep a few hours during the day, and some nights I won't sleep at all. Tonight, for example. Where I am it's 3:11 am and I'm wide awake.

Some things that are probably affecting this are depression, anxiety, natural hyperactivity, and a mind that won't rest without alcohol. Seriously.

I'd drink to get to sleep but I'm living off the sickness benifit and in New Zealand that isn't a lot of money. I hardely have anything left after rent, bills, and food as it is. Plus half a bottle of wine a night isn't really the healthiest of habits, and that's what it takes to be of any real effect.

And I'm not willing to take sleeping pills, even were they given to me freely. It's one of my goals in life to avoid if at all possible any drugs stronger than caffiene and alcohol, and to try to go easy on even those.

Someone help me out here please.

 

i hear doctors know about this sort of stuff, might be worth asking one of them

and jesus if you think the sickness benefit is rough try being on the student loan/allowance

 

the student loan thing is draining my life. hey man you should check with the doctor, you mind seems to be pacing and not knowing when to rest. hope your ok mate.

 

I'm not Jesus. And I don't know how much the student allowance is but I only get $130ish a week for rent, bills, and food.

I've seen a doctor. He didn't suggest anything.

 

bollocks. the sickness benefit is 200+. the unemployment benefit is -at least- 150 and thats before they take how much rent you pay into account. so either someone at winz REALLY hates you or you are lying.

go to another doctor. what are your eating habits? what do you do before you go to bed? what do you do during the day? why are you o nthe sickness benefit?

 

The benifit is only that high in Auckland, where it costs more to live. I would normally get a little over $140 but they deduct a bit from that to pay them back for sorting out my debt with my landlord. Plus I was dumb enough to get a gym membership I can't cancel until September, which actually leaves me with about $110.

For your information, the sickness benifit pays no different to the unemployment benifit. You also get paid less if you're a young adult, because some idiot with power reckons it's cheaper to live when you're young.

 

My eating habits? I eat what I can, when I can, as much as I can. I don't buy coke and chips and worthless crap like that, but I can't afford to get all the fancy health foods either. Rice is the staple of my diet at the moment. I got myself a 5kg sack and it's nearly half gone after a week.

I don't have a bedtime routine. I just crash out on the couch when I'm tired enough.

What I do during the day varies too much to go into detail. Maybe I'll go to the library and read. Maybe I'll go out to the park with my mate and we'll knock each other's shins apart with rubber nunchucks. Maybe I'll do nothing because it's just too damn hot.

And I'm on the sickness benifit because I suffer depression.

 

did your parents kick you out or something? ever heard of this thing called a job, i hear they pay well

 

My parents didn't kick me out. My stepfather drove me crazy.

And I tried a job. But I'd honestly rather be a starving bum than spend my days sorting rubbish in a dump. I've been in both worlds, and bums live better.

Are you actually trying to help at all here? You havn't yet.

 

ok so you chose to leave home and live like a bum. you dont eat properly, you dont sleep properly, and as far as i can tell you dont do anything. and you wonder why you are depressed and cant sleep?

go and get a job already. WINZ will help you with this. sure, the job you get might be crappy, but its a step up from scraping by. i am guessing here that your diet is one of the major causes of both your depression and inability to sleep. if you want to change that you need money.

or you could just wallow in self pity a bit more.

 

Its helpful to establish a schedule so your body knows what to expect subconsciously.

Like eating 3 times a day well, sleep 8 hours at about the same time, etc...

And if you cant sleep, you might as well practice.

Or else meditate. That usually knocks me out cold.
If you think constantly, then you wont sleep. Gradually just let your train of thought go. You dont really need to sing a mantra while doing it, you could just stretch lightly or do your form loosely.

You just need to relax, really.

Also let go of the wine or coffee. ESPECIALLY THE COFFEE.

 

First off, I want to say that I know it's hard to get things done when you're depressed. However, sometimes you just have to do it. None of that "I'm depressed" or I'm too tired" crap. We do what we have to do to survive. What kind of social programs do you have there? Can you get a grant or loan to go to college and get a degree? That way you don't have to work at one dead end job after another.

Fill your day with activities if you want to sleep better. Establish some sort of routine. Work or go to school. Practice MA. Try to set a bed time for yourself. Take a warm bath or shower before bed. Routine helps, doing things during the day that requires energy and thought, eating regularly, drinking plenty of water, exercising, getting some sunlight, and possibly therapy could help with your depression and your sleep problems.

Cyndi

 

over here the way it works is if you do well enough at high school you can get into university, and the govt will pay for it (if you come from a low income family the govt will pay for it for free, otherwise they will give you a loan that you have to pay back after you get your degree)

or, you can go to a polytechnic or private education facility, which will provide you with a student loan. it isnt a whole heap of money but if you arent silly with it, you can live on it. there is no reason in this country for people to live in abject poverty, unless it is caused by their own apathy.

 

In that case, it's just a matter of figuring out what you want to do with yourself. I would imagine that no one wants to live an empty, depressed, boring, barely scraping by kind of existence.

Bum, if you suffer from depression, you will never be completely happy. That's just the way depression works. But you can do everything in your power to ease your symptoms and live a more comfortable life. Living off of government funds is not living at all. Especially if you aren't trying to help yourself. The government gives sick/suffering pay to those who need that supplement to get by until they are able to work again (and to those who cannot PHYSICALLY work), it's not supposed to be a solution to the problem. It's supposed to help you through a rough time until you can cope and move on with your life (Get a job and support yourself, all the while contributing to society).

I guess that was a little off topic, but that's how I feel. You have to help yourself before anyone else can help you. Plus working/school is a great routine to have. Even if the job sucks. You do it because you need the money to support yourself. It's all about surviving. :bang:

Cyndi

 

Bum Eyes,
Maybe your bodies natural clock is a bit out of whack. It happens for many different reasons.

I've had several jobs that have knocked mine seriously out of whack before. It's taken ages to get it back on schedule. Without proper sleep you will never feel 100% and it really can be a drag.

My suggestion?

Check out some Melatonin. It's a chemical that your body naturally produces and is non-addictive. They usually come in 1mg and 3mg tablets. You pop one about an hour before you want to be asleep. They will not knock you out... they're not a tranquilizer... but you will feel a bit slowed down.. perhaps even groggy. After about an hour you should be able to get to sleep. Try this for a while until you have a nice set schedule of sleep. By the way it's not a presciption drug so you can buy it off the shelf.

Of course like anything... get your doctors advice before hand.

 

Defending depressives

Just wanted to chime in in Bum-Eyes defence. I don't suffer from depression myself but my girlfriend does. She's been registered mentally ill for the past ten years because of it. It's not as easy as saying "stop being a wuss, drag yourself out of it and go get a job". Whilst I'll (hopefully) never understand it fully, what I do know of it, having been with her for the past four years, depression affects you pretty deeply.

It undermines your self-esteem as well as your motivation for doing things. It saps your energy and changes your perception on life such that ordinary little chores which the rest of us grin and bear, become a really big deal for a depressive. It's also a vicious cycle: the more depressed you get, the more you let things slip in your life, and consequently the more depressed you get, etc. Also, one of the worst things about depression is people telling you to "pull yourself out of it!" It isn't that easy! It's an illness. If you have a migraine, you can't magically make it go away by willing it to!

Please correct me if I'm wrong on any of the above Bum-Eyes, all my understanding of this is second-hand, and I don't know your situation personally.

My girlfriend swears by medication. Apparently the first and most important thing to do is to attempt to stabilise your mood. If this means taking something with an unpleasant side-effect for a while, then so be it - you'll have to put up with that until you can dig yourself out of your depression and get back in control. Obviously you don't want to be taking mood-stabilisers for ever, but you'll probably need them to help dig you out of the worst of it.

Once you have some kind of control back, conselling is a good idea. Even if it's only once a week, so long as you keep going regularly, and keep going to the same one. They'll help you to figure out what the underlying problem is and try to help you come to terms with it.

Finally, go see another doctor. It sounds like yours just doesn't care, unfortunately there's quite a few like that. See one who's willing to take your depression seriously.

Again, the above is based on what I've learned from my girlfriend's depression. I'm by no means an expert, but I hope it helps to some extent.

Incidentally, alcohol makes depression worse. You might want to consider quitting altogether, even if it does make sleeping a little harder to begin with. But on the bright side, once you have your depression under control, you'll probably find your sleep improves as a side effect.

 

You're right, it's not always as easy as "snapping" out of it. In fact, it almost never is. I've had recurrent Major Depression since I was five years old.

Don't forget the suicidal ideation! The depression starts, you start thinking "What's the point? Even if I do get better, I will only get depressed again!" and then thoughts of being dead creep in. Sometimes suicide is all you can think about.

No, you can't make a migraine magically disappear. Depression is different than a migraine. Migraine = horrible pain, naseau, dizziness, and sometimes an aura, which can make one completely incapacitated. Depression = Sadness, hopelessness, often thoughts of suicide, but these are feelings and thoughts....believe it or not, through proper therapy and training, thought processes can be changed. If the person is willing. It takes years to do though. There are "thought stopping" techniques that stop unwanted thoughts in their tracks. Depression can be incapacitating too. Depression is hell. There are things called "coping mechanisms" that do wonders for it, unlike with migraine.

Medication helps A LOT of people, but not everyone. In fact, there is quite a large population in which antidepressants and mood stabilizers cause depression to become much deeper AND has a ton of unwanted physical side effects on top of it.

Also, even for those who medication helps (and this is particularly true with SSRIs), once you decide to stop taking medication, there may be a really awful withdrawal period that can last from days to months.... I say this with first-hand experience and also from what others have shared with me.

So medication could help immensely, or it could cause great psychological and physical harm. You don't know until you try.

And open up to them. There's no point in going if you hide things.

Be wary of prescription happy doctors. Medication should be a last resort. Afterall, it doesn't solve the problem it only masks the symptoms. I do agree with Cosmic, see a different doctor.

Agreed. Alcohol, or any depressant is BAD when you suffer from depression. Caffeine also caused problems. If you are used to caffeine and don't get your daily dose, that in itself can cause depression. Caffeine will also keep your body awake at night. I say body, because for some people, caffeine has a slowing effect on thoughts.

Just thought I'd add my refutation (in a diplomatic way, of course).

Cyndi

 

First-hand knowledge is always better than second-hand. Hopefully some of it will be helpful to Bum-Eyes.

 

yea, I remember you.

If you had high blood pressure, you'd take the pills. If you had malaria you'd take the pills. Why would an antidepressant/sleep aid be any different? It's a real ailment, and nothing you can will yourself out of.

Get yerself off the alcohol and the caffeine. Lay down at the same time every night, even if you don't fall asleep. Exercise.

Go to a different doctor. Ask about anti-depressants. Then take them. Don't give up if they don't work the first time, sometimes the dosage is screwed up, sometimes the medicine just isn't the right one for you. It'll take some time, and things will likely get worse before they get better.

Therapy = VGT.

It's the same answer as last time - I've been where you are.

 

Best advice in the whole thread if you are trying to fix your sleeping problems.

If you want to know the best thing you can do for your depression? Set training times every day and do your best to stick to them. Try to train in martial arts and fitness for 8+ hours a day. If you can't do that, train as much as you possibly can.