Speeding woman

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by BlackRaven, Aug 21, 2003.

  1. BlackRaven

    BlackRaven Oldbie

    Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

    Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

    Woman: Oh, I see.

    Officer: Can I see your licence please?

    Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

    Officer: Don't have one?

    Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

    Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

    Woman: I can't do that.

    Officer: Why not?

    Woman: I stole this car.

    Officer: Stole it?

    Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

    Officer: You what?

    Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the boot if you want to see.

    The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

    Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.

    Woman: Is there a problem sir?

    Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

    Woman: Murdered the owner?

    Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the boot of your car, please.

    The woman opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.

    Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

    Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

    The officer is quite stunned.

    Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence.

    The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps opens the clutch purse and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled.

    Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, that you stole this car,and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

    Woman: I bet the lying git told you I was speeding, too.
  2. Cain

    Cain New Member

    ROFLMAO!!! That was a good one :D

  3. Greg-VT

    Greg-VT Peasant


    Hhaha, wow thats great :D:D:D

  4. Patrick Bateman

    Patrick Bateman Banned Banned

    There is only one problem with this joke, strtches the realms of reality in that a woma could come up with such a logical way of evading prosecution, now if it was a speeding man i could see it being funny as its possible!!!
  5. doglikesparky

    doglikesparky New Member

    yeah good one:D

    I'll use that one tonight at my mates party.
  6. Kinjiro Tsukasa

    Kinjiro Tsukasa I'm hungry; got troll? Supporter

    Are you saying that women can't be logical? :woo:

    Actually, the first time I saw this joke, the subject was a man, not a woman. I think it's funny either way, though. :)
  7. shotokanwarrior

    shotokanwarrior I am the One

    <inappropriate comment deleted>

    I would be logical and make a rational argument, but you are not worth my utilising that quality. You are not even a worthy enemy, that would be lke a lioness fighting a dung beetle.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 21, 2004
  8. choconutjoe

    choconutjoe New Member

    Lol charming!

    Nice joke! I might try it one day :D
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 21, 2004
  9. Cougar_v203

    Cougar_v203 4th surgery....Complete!

    *drops dead laughing* ROFL!! OMG thats funny.

  10. FortuneFaded

    FortuneFaded Feel my Squirrely wrath!

    A woman is pulled over for speeding, the policeman gets out the car, taps the window and says, you were going 146mph, i've bin waiting for you all day...

    To which the woman replies:
    "I tried to get here as fast as i could..."
  11. alex_000

    alex_000 You talking to me?

    The thread was even funnier than the joke (thanks coconutjoe for quoting).

    anyway the joke was cool too :D
  12. Knight_Errant

    Knight_Errant Banned Banned

    I might try this when I get pulled over for speeding.

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