Hey my name is Jordan and I am 16 years old. I have been in martial arts for about 4 1/2-5 years and I will be testing for my 1st dan black belt in Tae Kwon Do this coming September. I have always enjoyed martial arts and they are very importent to me. Sometimes when I have reached the end of my rope emotionally (which a lot to teens) I have training to fall back on. In the first 3-4 years of training I was confident that I could use my art successfully in a fight, however you could say lately I have problems trusting in things and believing in myself thers. As of now I fluxuate between believing that I can fight to "I am weak and not a good fighter". I think this stemmed from non MAist people saying that MAs are bs and they don't work in a "real" fight. On the other hand I have a friend who used to fight in underground street fights and is a martial artist (and an excelent one by they way) who builds me up and tells me they do work and that he has used them. I used to take such joy in class every week and would love learning new things, but I have had not only kids but a teacher at my school basically ridicule me for being in martial arts and it really messes with my head. "what if they dont work, what if I'm useless?" Basically I am a nervous reck 90% of the time and go from believing in my art to deep phases of depression in which I run over wether they would work in a fight. Yes I know some things in martial arts are not preactical in fights unless you train your butt off to the point where they work, but its gotten to the point where I dought my regular things will work. Now I know that the world is not about jumping off walls and flying spining 540 reverse turning kicks, but the simple stuff like side kicks and knees, elbows and such, but I basically dought that now too. It has gotten SOOO bad to where my subconcious tells me that my training is not worth it and I will not bow to that ever because I love martial arts with all my heart and I could not bear giving it up. I know many of you are going to think its crazy, but its basically my biggest problem to over come now. I train hard and I mean till I cant move my arms or kick anymore. every move in my forms is as hard as I can possibly make it. My kicks at thier highest, are a foot above my head and knock people 30-50 lbs. or more in a front stance holding a kicking shield backwards( I am 6' 140 lbs.) and I can break five boards with a downward elbow on both sides( I know that may not be much to many but its pretty good for me). All Im really trying to tell you all is that I lack confidense in my fighting ability and the abilities of others because of what Idiots tell me. Yes I am retarded for listening to ignerant waste of space losers like them, but for some reason I cant help it and it goes even beyond not believing in martial arts(will not explain), but it all stems from not believing in MA. I want to have the joy I had in practicing again I want to wake up happy in the morning having the confidense that when I go to my dojang I am learning something worthwhile and something that I can make work. I want to be free from this cell I have gotten into. I will not ever stop fighting untill I can believe again. P.S. I am deeply sorry for the long post I have had that bottled up in my for about 6-7 months. Please help.
lol...don't worry about the length of the post, the more you give, the more we know to be able to help you (though it would help if you used paragraphs, its hard on my eyes lol) Anyways, I think you have the wrong idea about fights. I've been mugged 3 times in the past 2 years...now that's scary...in the dark, unexpected. I won those fights probably only because I practiced my what I call "realistic" techniques until I felt confident (of course...I got my share of bruises, but nothing compared to them) with only about a years worth of TKD. For example, just from reading your post, I know you have no confidence in your kicks. Don't worry about kicking over your head, probably don't even worry about kicking above your chest. Since you don't have too much confidence in your technique, why not practice the basics until you know that you can preform them without thinking. The thing is, fights aren't like a sparring match, they're not going to be following any rules. People move around in ways you don't/can't predict...they'll push you, take you to the ground, grab a buddy. You mentioned your friend who does the underground fights or whatever. Don't you think what he says has more prescedence over what your school teacher says, or what your friends say (probably from watching too many kung fu movies). Would you rather listen to your chemistry teacher who's probably never fought in his life...or your friend who's been in numerous fights and knows what he's talking about? I haven't broken boards yet, but to me you seem like you have power in your strike (of course, the technique to break boards and break a skull is probably different). Watch a UFC tape, and elbow can rip a guys forehead easy! Now for some proof on martial arts working. Look at bodyguards, law enforcement officers, the military...they all use martial arts, or some form of structured self-defence system. Grab a copy of Blackbelt Magazine and read the through it. Every once in a while, you'll read information about real people in real situations. Use that to prove to yourself that martial arts really works. I don't know, but it seems to me like you should do more free sparring or self-defense. Back when I lived in Springfield and took TKD [ITF], we had things called One-Steps (One Step Sparring or self defence routines). Practice your basic ones with someone, and have them go at you at random times...make sure you work with someone who can do as little telegraphing as possible. Practice with both the right and left. Practice from a fighting stance (You generally won't be standing straight, feet 6 inches, arms by your sides in a real situation). I mean I'm no war-lord, but I've been in enough fights, and seen people in fights, to know you shouldn't try certian things. My old teacher used to say "If you are afraid, your letting someone control you". Don't let anyone control you...physically or mentally...control yourself! [EDIT] Oh, and congradulations on your near near blackbelt achievement. Don't let it go away from you! Remember, your journey is just beginning! This is what you've worked hard for!
Hi Jordan welcome to MAP. I would suggest perhaps doing some weight training, you'll probably find that you will be more aware of your muscular strength and you will feel more confident, also in time when you start packing some muscle on the people who once ridiculed you will perhaps think twice.
At your phase in life having lots of doubts about yourself and what you are doing is pretty common and your peer group can have a strong influence. Here's a little tip I wish I had picked up a little sooner in life: You are what you are, it's up to you to find what that is and be comfortable with the person you see in the mirror every morning. Whatever others think is their issue, not yours. Don't let them dictate your life or choose what your passions are. If your friends don't support you, then it might be time to get some new friends. Just be you and it will work itself out.
Hey I would like to thank you all for helping me out it makes me feel a lot better. I gauss I just need to not listen to people's bs so much. As for one steps and sparring I do all of that on a regular basis and I am quite compitant at both. I think its just more of a stupid psychological problem that I caused my self by letting people get to me. As for basic techniques I can do as well and I am more than confident with my kicks its myself I am not confident in, my techniques, I am fine with. Lol yeah sorry about the paragraph thing I kinda was concentraiting on getting all accross. I just need to trust people and myself more and it does help to have people I have never met before tell me that I should be confident in martial arts. I would lastly like to thank all of you for being so kind and helpful. I greatly appriciate it.
If you join a club that does realistic sparring your confidence will soar because you will know what you can and can't do. If you manage to get an armbar in grappling there's no two ways about it, you got that armbar and you can feel proud. In my experience it's not the same when all you're doing is walking up and down the training hall punching the air unrealistically, standing in a horse stance, or doing uberlight sparring.
Hello Jordan, pleased to meet you. It seems as you are feared by all of this. Trust and believe in yourself, it would be only fear that will hold you back, don't let it happen. Don't compare or to listen to other negative comments. Just remember that they are trying to take your effort, confidence and all what you have trained for, all away. Visualize peace, love, and light. Meditating to practice breathing helps, to clear the clouded mind, and thoughts. Visualize all the negativity, in a balloon and let it all float away. I think you may be able to find something that will be able to treat deep depression. I find it icky to have it. But here's a site that may help to know what you may need to treat depression. http://www.drmirkin.com/nutrition/N228.html, and have conversations with people you know, or us MAPPERS. And maybe listen to some soft music too, soft music tones lowers the stress levels and blood pressure. Intense music tends to do the opposite and also depending on what you listen to will maybe also get you aggressive or physically pumped up for battle. Classical music I find is the best to listen to when i'm depressed. Because I find it gets me out of the mood to shed tears or to beat up someone. You stop thinking all of the negative things, and to start thinking of positive things. Positivity prevails over negativity. Keep on going don't give up, keep it up with the training, and put a smile on your face. and laugh away, by watching a comedy for the night. Relax in the bath tub too. The more you want your day to be positive daily. Then you don't have to fear anything. The confidence will all return back to you, and will progress forward. You'll experience life a lot better. Dream it, live through it.
This would be a lot easier to reply to if you used paragraphs. These people may be trying to teah you something. I was the full time student of a master of vietnamese martial arts when I was a year older than you. My friends made fun of it, but in the end they turned out to be right. After a particularly bad falling out with the "master", I left for a BJJ academy and never ooked back. It is entirely possible that it doesn't work. I mean, you go to a TKD school, an art not well known for it's quality control. Perhaps you're investing too much emotion into this. Well if you like elbows, knees and kicks, might I suggest muay thai? Check your yellow pages. I think you'd enjoy it. Your subconscious is often right. It may not be a matter of giving up martial arts, merely switching out for a more athletic, resistance oriented one IF effectiveness is what you're after. Try the articles at straightblastgym.com to learn more. MA shouldn't require faith. It (you) either works or it doesn't. I think you would be far happier with something more athleticly oriented, like Judo, BJJ, muay thai, wrestling or boxing (yes I realize there are TKD tournaments, but TKD rules are retarded). You remind me of my younger self. Good luck.
i also think that something which pressure tests would be more along your street. also 6' at 140lbs seems a tad low. pop over to the Health and Fitness forum and ask for some recomendations on putting on some muscle. Not only does it do wonders for your confidence, when done correctly, it does wonders for your MA ability too
Jordan, I understand your misgivings. It sounds cliche', but it's the fighter not the art that works in the real world. I'm not a big TKD fan. I think most of the techniques in that system are garbage with no application outside the dojang. Anyone who thinks they can adopt a side facing fighting stance, hold their hands low, and win without the benefit of a rule book is in need of a serious reality check. On the other hand, TKD practice places extrodinary demands on the body. Flexibility is required to throw the high kicks. Body control is learned thru dynamic motion in the form of jumping spinning techniques. Mental focus is sharpened along with the mind body connection required to execute combination kicks. Within this context, TKD does have a lot to offer. If you can kick well over someone's head, how much easier will it be to blast their lead leg? The bottom line is that every art has something to offer; it's up to you as martial artist to put it all into the right perspective. If you can't fight, it's not TKD that has failed you; it's you who have failed to grasp what TKD has offered. Are there better systems out there? I think so, from the standpoint of teaching methodologies and relevant techniques but that doesn't mean that a critical mind applied to TKD won't produce proficient fighters. It's up to you. If you have no faith in your technique, it's because you have placed your faith in the art instead of in yourself where it belongs. One last thing: if your buddies are so sure MA don't work in a 'real' fight, why has both the US Marine Corps and the US Army spent so much time and money to develop the Marine Corps Martial Art Program and the Modern Army Combatives Program over the last 5-10 years? Granted, you won't find TKD as a root style in either system, but obviously the military feels MA training is essential because every Marine and every Soldier are required to develop a basic proficiency in MA. Check it out: http://www.moderncombatives.org/pages/1/index.htm
