Need some advice on some random jerks in school..

Hi, im in the 11th grade and theres some random guys who feel its their duty to be complete jerks and intentionally shove me everytime i walk by to my locker after my last class.(the shove is hard enough that i get a tad unbalanced) Now they've done it twice to me int he span of..i think 3-4 days? Whenever they do it they look at me with this really stupid grin that says to me.."what you gonna do about it?" I just walk past them and try to ignore it. The 2nd time they did it i stared at them and asked "what the hell is your problem?" and waited for them to do something, they didnt and i walked past again.

I'm not exactly sure what to do next. Part of me very much so wants to just confront them and perhaps start a fight(they obviously want to.) But another part of me knows that its exactly what they want from me, a reaction. I really don't like fighting, but I really really dislike people who just make another person's life harder for no other reason than to just be ****s. Its very frustrating. I'm sorry if it seems liek I'm blowing this out of proportion, but any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks

 

I had the same problem, but the way i handled it probably wasn't the best.

Exactly the same situation, group of guys, they walk past and shove. So I challenged them. Called them cowards for not having the balls to start something proper and cowards again for acting only in groups, really went off my nut and got right in their faces. They were a bit shocked and didn't say anything so I asked each one if they wanted to 'go'. Still no response, I turned and walked away muttering 'pussies' loud enough for them to hear.

They didn't do it again but if I'd done that in a rougher school (which i'd just left) I would have been kicked to a pulp, thus not the best solution. I got a rep as a nutter after that.

 

Smack the crap out of them. Only way to deal with bullies. Give them a nice elbow when they push you next.

My first ever day of highschool (yr 7), some older guys (yr 10) thought it would be funny to throw stuff at me, small rocks, sticks, coke bottles etc. I shrugged it off as me being a new guy. The next day one of them slammed me against a wall. I punched him the face and dropped him.

They never did it again, . Bullies go for people that wont fight back. They dont want a fight, they want you to scream, cry etc. Make an example of them, and you will never be bullied again. You dont kick the dog that rips your head off.

 

I went through similar in middle school, albeit a bit worse (didnt sleep properly for about a year because of it... was bad) - i tried the "tell the teachers" rubbish, it didnt work. One day i was coming down the stairs and i spotted one on their own... i hit him into a wall a few times and walked on. It solved the problem as he stopped his mates doing anything, but i probably shouldnt of done it.

If it gets bad enough you need to retalliate, do it, but dont hold back. They want a rettaliation they can beat and make you look more foolish, so dont let them win if you do. If you do this try and get one without their mates able to help, or have a few mates with you - nothing better in school than a gang fight lol

EDIT: ADDITION: Because of comments posted after this i thought it best to add I am not condoning violence as I shouldnt have done it myself really, but am giving my personal account. If things DO get bad enough to need violence after exhausting all other options (e.g. spoken to teachers/behaviour people etc.) and you really think it is the only option - see paragraph 2.

 

in situations like this a non violent action is always the best. However if this fails an elbow to the nose is surprisingly effective also

 

One thing to keep in mind...

How confident are you that you can take on ALL of them? They may very well just be mean enough to take you up on your 'tude if you give it to them.

EDIT:

Oh, yeah...since you said "11th grade, I'm going to assume you live in the US, so...)

How confident are you that you won't be expelled for retaliating?
How confident are you that you can win in a courtroom when you get charged with assault/battery and can only claim "they were picking on me"?

If the answer to any of the above is "not very" then I suggest you listen to your brain. Even if you've convinced yourself the answer is "very", don't do it.

 

I can't believe the number of people advocating violence. A large group of people are looking to intimidate you, all you stand to gain by reacting is to either get the beejesus kicked out of you, make the intimidation worse or get into serious trouble (should you manage to get one of them on your own and beat him).

Ignore it, maybe report it if its bad enough and you can do so in confidence, whatever you do don't rise to it as this is what they want.

(and if you absolutely MUST get into a confrontation make sure your friends are with you and that what ever happens they initiate it)

 

High school bully fights can be a toughy, here's my best advices:

(1) Don't offend your school: sometimes you just have to take a beating. You may risk offending your instructor/school by defending yourself even if its justified. Life isn't always fair. Just because they hit you first doesn't mean you won't suffer from doing whatever you want afterwards. If you truely value your long term training think of the consequences of showing someone up.

(2) Don't let bullies know you do MA. That'll probably just provoke them to prove you that it doesn't work or that they're still better. Unless you've taken a few shots and think you can still come out on stop I'd suggest looking for other options, fights are never good. No matter what your training you're always susceptible to a lucky shot.

(3) Bullys are a part of high school (all school) (in the US). Sorry. Avoidance, while it won't get you any girls, tends to agree with number one unless you have an instructor who won't mind defending you in court for smashing someone's face into the ground on a messed up throw (or whatever else you pick).

If that's not clear enough:

Beat the crap out of them and you'll:

1) Get kicked out of your MA school (depending on type of school)
2) Provoke more fights in the future
3) Get into legal trouble cause the line between self defense and violent rage for minors is pretty much a black white grey = same color area....

I don't have any quick and easy solutions for bullies, I certainly never learned to deal with them, I just train in MA and don't talk to a lot of the people I grew up with anymore. I suggest you do the same. May hurt now, but you'll be happier in the future when you're training with people who respect you.

 

it's all a matter of what you think they'd do if you reacted violently. when i was in middle school there was a small group who would taunt me sometimes, and they knew i did ma so that made me an even more appealing target i guess. eventually one of them worked up the balls to push me in the hallway, and i immediately went after his midsection with body shots. i didn't seriously hurt him, but it shocked the hell out of him and his friends, and none of them fought back. if they had, however, then i would have been in some trouble...it could definitely go either way, so just be careful. you should definitely take some sort of action though, problems don't go away if you just ignore them (although certain retarded authority figures may tell you otherwise).

 

ok you have been doin the sensible thing of not loosing yah cool

you seriously wont beat dwn a group of kids ( in theory )
so best option is to cary on doing the sensible thing .

i know that this can be hard , hence why the law comes to effect if you feel your getting threatend in anyway you have every right to defend yourself by means of physical contact

If it was me i wud keep yah head dwn let them push you round for a bit , wait till home time and idividualy approach them . In the threatining way that they do u , push them see wht he does if he goes for u then theres yah fight he dont then he wont bother u again will he

 

keep calm, keep confident, and only worry about yourself - not your school, instructor or anybody else, just you. And you will survive such ordeals all the more quicker and easier.

Learn to relax and control your moods, restrain yourself from dropping your head when you see bullies, just act natural.

if things get physical, do not fear the situation but aim to control it (in other words do not let adrenaline freeze your muscles but do not let it take you into a serial killer phase) - this is why learning to be relaxed in all situations is vital - when you fight, do not fear being hurt, let your enemy bruise your skin and you thump his chin. Do not fear for yourself, do not think of pain, just fight with passion and control (keep your head about you).

99% of people lose fights because their fears and nerves shroud their technique and judgement. The 1% lose because they weren't good enough.

Therefore, if you can fight, you have a 99% chance of winning.

I made these statistics up, obviously, but there you go.

 

I was always told by my parents don't start a fight at school but if they hit you, hit them back. And I will tell my kids exactly the same thing.
I only got in one fight at school I stood there for about 30 seconds taking slaps before my brain caught up with the situation and went 'sod this!!!!'.

I am not a violent person and if you can avoid it then try all means nesecary before hitting back.
Bully's prey on the weak and the quiet in most cases if they think you won't retaliate then they will just keep coming back for more.

If it were me in your situation I would have given them a mouthful the first time they did it. But that's me.
The fact that the second time they did it and you gave them some verbal they just walked on by and backed off to me would indicate that you standing up to them is not what they expected if you had kept quiet maybe they would've taken it further.
You need to assess the situation for yourself for instance if the situation were to escalate. I'm not sure what ages 11th grade is.

How dangerous are these guy's?
Do they know where you live? Route home?
Do you think they would progress to the use of weapons?

If you come from a rough area go to a rough school these things may be more likely.
If you feel that things could get out of control go to a member of staff you trust and is easy to approach.
Even if they are just 'aware' of the situation they can be there if things do escalate.
If it were me i'd keep being a gobby git to them every time they tried it your mouth can get you out of many situations but then sometimes it can put you in worse ones, you need to know when to stop.

I hope you figure things out.

 

11th grade is ages 16-17(in the U.S)

Well I didn't go to school today as I've got a really bad fever and the flu-_-.
I'm pretty sure thye dont have any idea where I live, they're just random jerks looking to bully someone for no other reason than to feel better about themselves.

Theres a pretty good chance of me getting suspended if I get into a fight with the kids, unless its off school property.(my older bro got into a fight in school and got suspended for 3 days) Ahh I'm quite confident in my ability to take them on, perhaps a little too confident. Hopefully I'll feel much better by tommorow and be able to go to school. I..just still kinda feel appauled that people are such jerks that they'd do that to a random person for no reason than to just be jerks. blah..

 

for $5000 I will kill any one of them and make it look like an accident, do you have paypal.

 

Now THAT's a solution. Might want to make it a cash transaction though... eliminate the trail.

 

mm soudns mighty tempting but I'm gonna have to pass on that one. =-P

 

Too pricey? Maybe adouglasmhor can work out a bulk deal?

 

mm..idk, vengence usually isnt my cup of tea.

 

We don't call it vengeance; we call it taking care of problems. :evil:

 

IMO, being suspended is worth never getting bullied again.

You could always get your older brother to go and give them a good talking to.