I'm not really sure what forum this should be in, but it was a toss up between this one and Health and Fitness... once again apologies to the mods if I got it wrong. I'm not entirely sure what purpose this has but... my father was admitted yesterday for triple bypass heart surgery, which was undertaken this morning. It sounds, at least to me, like one of the most dangerous procedures you could possibly have apart from brain surgery, but I was reassured that these only a 2% chance of dying, either in surgery or as a result of post-op complications. My father apparently came out okay, but I just heard that afterwards he was found to be bleeding more than was expected and they had to take him back into theatre... and then someone told me he could have a stroke at any time over the next few days. I'm absolutely sick with worry. I guess what I wanted to know was has anyone else had a friend/relative gone in for heart surgery and are the risks really that bad? My father is 54, by the way. The second part of this post is more of an emotional difficulty, I guess. I'm really terrified because if he dies I don't know what's going to happen to me. I have no family at all to speak of - I'm an only child and my mother died 16 years ago - I only have my father. I have absolutely nowhere to go. I'm only just 18 and I've never lived on my own before, never even been left on my own before for more than a week. I don't yet know how to deal with many aspects of the outside world, like taxes and jobs and bills and legal things. :cry: And at the moment I'm just feeling really upset and distraught because it sounds like it's all going wrong and I have awful gut feeling that he's not going to make it, and even though we don't get on and sometimes when I'm really furious I wished he would die, I want him to live, and now I just feel really depressed.
I'm so sorry to hear all that. All my thoughts are with you and your dad. When you say "someone" told you he could have a stroke, do you mean a doctor? If not, ignore it. The chances of stroke after bypass surgery are still very low. Even if it was a doctor, they may be obliged to warn you of the small chance that something might go wrong, but it is still a small chance.
Hi Xue, I'm sorry to hear that you're upset and worried right now. I've had family members and family friends undergo this surgery (some were really bad cases). Every single one of them has come out of surgery, changed their lifestyle/diet/outlook and are all doing well. Just trust that the doctors/medical team will do their job. I have a good relationship with my dad and he taught me how to manage a household, the finances, kept me aware of property loans, accident/life insurance and he always has a plan of action written up in case the worst happens. 1. Speak to your dad. Put aside your differences, you need to do this and discuss your concerns with him. 2. Start taking responsibility in the house. Find out what bills are paid, help your dad out by streamlining these things (put them in a file under each company name) 3. Find out what liabilities (insurance payments, loans) your dad has - this is assuming you and he can put aside your differences and build your relationship 4. Have you got any close family who would help you? 5. Take care of your dad first, don't think of the worst case scenario
Ive had 3 relatives through this proceedure, and every one of them fine. The oldest one was 64 when he got it.... Your dad will be ok, but as lily says you need to start 'learning' how to run a house anyway - you never know what tomorrow brings.
My dad had a bypass about 10 years ago, and he's still going strong now. It is terrifying when something like this happens, although I've never had it happen myself (when my dad had his bypass, I was a little young and imature to understand how serious it was), I've helped a number of my friends through difficult situations. Try and find someone to talk to. Posting on this forum about your worries and doubts is a good start, but sitting down and talking to someone person to person is more beneficial. If you don't think you have any friends who you could talk to, try someone at work, or a lecturer (if you're studying). People will often supprise you with how much they're willing to help. I'd also suggest spending as much time with your father as you can. Assuming the two of you live by yourselves, when he gets out of hospital, he's going to need your help with alot of things. He'll probably get tired quickly and may get angry because he can't do some of the things he could before. Help him out as much as you can, that way, you'll start to get the hang of how things work around the house as well as making sure he doesn't over do it. If you need to know anything specific about something to do with the 'outside world', and there's no one nearby you can ask, post it on here and we'll all do our best to help you.
my father had bypass surgery and had complications that lead to him being placed in a drug induced coma that lasted for 35days. all i can tell you is to keep hope and be there for him. talk to him, joke with him, reasure him. my father balloned up and looked like a monster but he pulled through. i pray for the best for you and your father.
Xue, first off I am so sorry to hear what you and your dad are going through and I wish him a speedy recovery. My aunty had a heart attack some years ago, the doctors did what she did and she is going strong after a change in lifestyle. While it might be true that the younger you are the better the chances of recovery your dad is by no means an old man. He's still young enough and strong enough to pull through. Hell my aunty was in her 50's when it happened and she's never been what you would describe as 'physically strong'. Early last year I witnessed what I thought was my dad dying in front of me. He just seemed to 'shut down', fall to the floor and was perfectly still for like a second before convulsing briefly. Since that happened, every time he feels aches or pains or has trouble standing up my soul skips a beat. However, parents are made of tougher stuff than you might give them credit for. I am sure your dad will storm it and give you hell for not doing the dishes.
Just an update on the situation. He came out of surgery for the second time fairly alright and was taken in to intensive care. It's good that he came through that alright, but as I understand, there are still dangers, and his state hasn't changed from last night. He's in deep unconsciousness and they haven't managed to rouse him so far. Doctors say they hope he'll drift into lighter unconsciousness as today progresses, and they'll try again to rouse him. I'm experiencing something like Chimpcheng though, every time the phone rings. I was really worried this morning that he wouldn't have made it through the night. I think I'll feel a lot better when he's not so deep in unconsciousness and they manage to rouse him. That's a pretty good sign, and he'll be past a lot (though admittedly not all) of the danger by then.
My uncle had a triple bypass many years ago. He was in his 50's and is still going strong today Best of wishes for you all
I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. I know it's easy to say but try not to look at the worst case scenario and be positive. Best wishes, VFB
Update. Became conscious this afternoon, and appears to be okay, though in pain. I spoke to him on the phone in the evening. I think most of the danger is over now. Thanks guys for all your replies. I just hope he makes it through recovery.
