How does a gentleman ask out a lady these days?

I'm utterly clueless in this area, despite my ownership of a top hat and generally being a loverly bloke.

Couple of sad facts about me:

1. I've never been on a date
2. I've never asked out anybody I didn't know as a friend first.

For these reasons (and many others) I have no idea how to approach the stunning lady that caught my eye working in a shop in town today :$

all I know about her:

1. She was wearing a purple top so she presumably likes purple (my favourite colour, coz it's all manly and badass)
2. She was wearing sandals. It's raining out. This makes her quirky and awesome in my eyes
3. She works in a charity shop, so she's probably not a douche.

Day after tomorrow a three day event starts in the park, with crafts, cookery demos, and a bunch of other somewhat interesting things that I think would be talk-about-able afterwards, so I was thinking of inviting her to that Friday or Saturday, but I dunno how that'd come across coming from someone she doesn't know.

This is something of a big deal to me given my history with my ex last year, and how my brief relationship earlier this year lasted about six weeks lol. I have little confidence and have no idea how to proceed. Suggestions and tips would be most appreciated.

 

Try this.

 

That's about as far as I know how to get, is the greeting leading smoothly to small talk.. it's after that I'm stuck lol but thanks

 

How is she similar to your ex....and why didn't that relationship work?

People who have difficulty in approaching another usually are dealing with
baggage from somewhere else.

Saying "hello" just isn't that tough.

Understanding your motives for sayin' "hello" is more the question.

Best Wishes,

Bruce

 

Alright on a serious level, it really depends on the girl. AFAIK just going to ask someone out on a date is a little old fashioned and I don't think it works that way anyway.

I would suggest try it on random women first that you really don;t feel strongly about, try different methods with them. Think of it as a numbers game, if 1/10 say yes, ask a 100 women. Try being funny, be cocky, be confident. I might sometimes just go up to someone and ask, what are you doing friday night? She might be like uh what? I'll be like slowly speaking "whaat are, youuu doing friddaaay night" sometimes they are :| sometimes they giggle, sometimes they may be like "none of your business you creep" (rare). Then it will be, dinner "enter restaurant name" 8pm?

Or you could just ask do you like movies? Um what, yes? Have you seen the new Batman? Noo? You free now? Whatttt? Um ok.

 

Basically Hatamoto, there are a 1001 and one ways you can approach this. Best is to get practice by getting over the fear of rejection by taking it as a numbers game, get your confidence up then trying it on her. Generally from experience, I usually didn't get the girl I wanted, so I ended up feeling like crap. So I did the numbers thing, and when you're kinda with someone, for some weird reason girls who were not interested before all of a sudden are. It's a dangerous game my friend.

 

This is an example of an old fashioned mentality that really doesn't understand the modern dating game.

Example hot girl, every guy likes her, how many say hello? All of them.

The one who says "are you from tennesee? Cos your the only ten i see" is the one who makes you laugh, or think wth? Who sticks out?

 

I'm guessing you're married for a while, so you have a Mrs, it's a different world out there. I don't mean old fashioned is a bad thing, it just won't work with the younger generation. You could say hello and have a girl just roll her eyes and be um hello? Or even just walk away. It's intentionally cheesey, it's not meant to impress them it's meant to make them laugh because it is SO CHEESY, it's an ice breaker. It shows confidence. It shows your kinda fun and don't take yourself too seriously. I would love the world where it would work with a hello. Very rare these days especially if its a stranger you meet and not someone from a class, at work etc.

 

She works in a charity shop, so go in and buy something, preferably when it's not busy. Then start chatting at the till. If you guys seem to click then pop in again and ask if she'd like to go to the crafts thing.

 

Check some of these guys videos out, it's hilarious. [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAGiQ3AWKqI"]Internet Trolls Pick Up Girls: Get Her Number! - YouTube[/ame]

 

The event's the day after tomorrow, he's not even got time to read The Game, let alone to delude himself into believing it.

The whole thing's about confidence - your best bet is to chat to her a bit (casual small talk, but not for too long) and then simply say 'Hey, there's <insert thing here> going on in a couple of days, would you like to go along to it with me?'

If she's interested she'll say yes, if she's not interested she'll say no. I've never had any lack of success with this approach.

Actually very few of them do, because most guys are too scared of rejection. As a consequence the ones who do speak to her will often come up with a cheesy line - she'll likely have heard them all before.

Those lines are much more likely to work on someone who doesn't stand out than someone who does. The 'hi there' strategy is best for those who regularly get hit on by sleazeballs.

While sticking out is a good thing a line like that really doesn't make you stick out. What does is some actual wit, knowing a magic trick, or generally having some way to demonstrate that you're a unique little snowflake.

One of my favourites is still a bit of cold reading.

 

You've got your approach set up nicely here. From those three attributes I'm guessing she's got at least a touch of hippy about her, and since you mention that the event's got crafts you might want to quickly look up some of those (research is your friend) and try and start a conversation about them the next time you see her. If she shows interest, that's when you say 'Well I was going to go down to the park to do one of the classes, would you like to come along?'

The numbers game is only of any use to the desperate.

 

What herbo said edit and lilbunnyrabbit

Also the David Dangelo/Neil Strauss stuff Crow zero is talking about works well and can help build confidence with women pretty quickly (and that's really important) but I'd caution against using these as anything other than a means to that end. In my opinion and experience getting a solid handle on who you are and what you want out of life and pursuing things that interest you will naturally make you more confident, interesting and draw like minded people to you. You'll have a better quality of relationship and a better quality of life that way, rather than just a string of average, sex centric flings and nothing much changing internally. Although I'm not a big fan of self help style stuff this approach is something more akin to the methods espoused by Tyler Durden from real social dynamics if your looking for something from the 'seduction community' to add weight to my opinion. I should mention that I'm a massive stud so YMMV :hat:

 

That line has never worked on anyone worth using it on.

 

Different generation thing, I wouldn't do something like that with a more sophisticated and classy lady like yourself. One thing is know your audience.

 

You're right. She may actually be a criminal working off a community sentence.