Hitting a women in self defence?

Discussion in 'Self Defence' started by Yukimushu, Jan 30, 2004.

  1. David Harrison

    David Harrison MAPper without portfolio

    Compassion and empathy are admirable qualities, and the very opposite of pathetic.

    At worst you might be called a hypocrite for eating the crustaceans that you don't make eye contact with :p
  2. Ero-Sennin

    Ero-Sennin Well-Known Member Supporter

    To the bolded: OH NO YOU DIDN'T!!! ::snaps fingers in Z pattern::

    Thank you for your praises. If I didn't have a beard people would have probably seen me blushing 0_0. Unfortunately I can't own the praise of separating myself from the toxic relationship I was in. As I stated prior I am fiercely loyal and dedicated to those I love, and I'll let myself be harmed to a substantial degree for them. It was the other party that decided "we're not going in the same direction in life" as soon as she finished the BAR exam for Law School. I was in Florida for not even two weeks when she hit me with that. The irony of her explanation was that my entire life had revolved around where she wanted to go and what she wanted to do! All irrelevant information but I don't want to take credit where I don't deserve it. It took work with a psychiatrist to help me see what that relationship was and how to make better choices in the future, as well as what to look for.

    Regardless of that, I hope I was able to outline how self defense is applied a bit differently than what most people think, and how it's not synonymous with martial arts. Martial arts just provide an environment where self defense is an appropriate subject to address. There are a lot of ways to work on self defense without being in a formal training environment as well. Learning how to read people's body language, who you allow yourself to be surrounded by, attention to the details of your surroundings, taking the time to safely plan commutes to and fro, etc.. There are also a lot of structured classes for it, but a user like Hannibal or Simon here on MAP would probably be able to direct you to better sources of that if you were interested.

    From your description of not wanting to hurt people or animals, you seem like the biggest sweetheart of a person. I have experienced two different kinds of people that don't want to hurt others in the various martial arts I've done. The first kind thinks they're going to turn into the hulk and seriously maim or kill somebody so they don't want to spar or fight. That is usually corrected by making them turn into the hulk and showing them that they are not capable of hurting somebody who knows what they're doing.

    The second are people like you, who just don't want to hurt other people. You guys take a lot more work to get into sparring. In my experience, for people with your kind of mindset, a martial arts gym with a sporting environment is a good stepping stone into being comfortable with sparring and realizing you're not actually trying to hurt the person you're sparring with as much as you are focusing on the application of your skills and the "sport" you're participating in. A sporting environment for martial arts that would be easy to find would be something like an MMA or Boxing gym.

    It's also a good thing that you've practiced navigating your own moral compass when it comes to the application of violence. None of us know what we're truly capable until we're pushed to our limit, but it's always good to prepare and assess what you think you're capable of so if you do get pushed it's not such a surprise!

    As far as the BJJ goes, that sounds like something you might enjoy. It's not as high impact as a striking martial art, is basically nothing but sparring, and is very good for self defense. Keep us all up to date if you decide to go that route ^_^

    As a side note, and going back to the opening of my post . . . . while you state you couldn't harm a fly you seem to have NO PROBLEM stabbing my self esteem right in the heart!

    ::Angry Chewy Cry Noise::
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2016
  3. Rated Red

    Rated Red ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Supporter

    How long did it take for you to get comfortable with the invasion of personal space? Do you find that now you're more comfortable with it on the mat, it's not as bad out in public?

    Gi or no Gi? I bet that question around here is comparable to: Android or iPhone! :D

    From a viewers point of view, I've attended quite a few BJJ tournaments (as a supporter) and recognise just how physical and space invading it is. I don't mind physical side of it and I don't mind my space being invaded in a sporting /activity aspect however out in public, I'm not a fan. I'm guessing that I would have a hard time adjusting to (as petty as this may sound) the discomfiture of letting one rip in my opponents personal space while sparring. I was told that you quickly get over it, but still lol. With that said, I'm kind of keen on the idea. Thank you for your input, I appreciate it :)
  4. Rated Red

    Rated Red ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Supporter

    Hahaha :D
    If I ever had to kill my own food to survive I'd be under extreme torment. Either I'd be doing alot of eyelash-batting or I'd be grazing the pasture like a cow.

    Probably the latter.

    Being compassionate and empathetic has it's pros and cons :D
  5. Rated Red

    Rated Red ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Supporter

    You're welcome and thank you!!!

    Lol & lol. Your lack in R2D2 coverage in your reply is disappointing btw so I feel no sympathy.

    Ok, so your ex was responsible for making the decison to walk away from your marriage but that (as you are fully aware now) was your ticket out of something that could have easily put you in a darker place in life. Regardless of who walked away from who, you made alot of progress on your own so for that you should still be proud.

    When you're in any kind of relationship be it friendship, family or the committed kind, we as human beings no matter how loyal and dedicated, can only carry the relationship on our own for so long. As you know ;)

    In regards to the moral compass... I could be wrong but I think because I felt a strong 'mother bear' instinct to chase off two boys who were ganging up on a kid while he was down on the ground and my experience in rescuing and rehabilitating abused and neglected dogs (some in which were in an appalling state that made my blood boil), is how I have been able to put a lot of thought and assessment into when I think I could be physically aggressive towards a person. Loved ones are just a given.

    Granted, you can't Hulk smash a child abuser or an animal abuser without witnessing it; but let's say when you are called to remove a dog with their teeth kicked in, a dislocated jaw and a fracture to their eye socket because they didn't reproduce fast enough, you walk away with the dog(s) in tow feeling all sorts of Hulk-like emotion. I am a strong believer that the only reason why most of these dogs that we rescued and rehabilitated were on the, 'Dangerous Dog Breed' list is because of the BLEEEEP owners and certain breeders themselves. Puppy Mills do not reproduce healthy dogs, their bloodline is poor for various reasons (including inbreeding) etc. and respectful and meticulous breeders need to be extremely vigilant in who they sell their puppies to; though I know it can difficult to gage who is and who isn't suitable because the buyers with ulterior motives who are manipulating and conniving surely know how to play the game in getting what they want.

    First Star Wars, now Marvel. Haha.

    I apologise for the derailing of the thread.
  6. Smitfire

    Smitfire Cactus Schlong

    I've grown more empathetic and compassionate since becoming a dad (cliche I know) and now can't watch or see certain things. News stories about suffering and things like that. Never used to faze me really but now they can play on my mind for days.
  7. philosoraptor

    philosoraptor carnivore in a top hat Supporter

    Honestly, I'm kind of a cagey person, but it only took me a month or so before I was like "OK, this is jiu jitsu time." Every so often though I'm like "Wow, this dude's crotch is totally in my face right now." I don't know that it's changed my reaction in public so much as living in NYC did, but I still feel like it's inappropriate to hug someone if you have known them less than five years. It's actually presented me with problems because like, I'm living in Philly these days and Philly is a VERY hug driven city.

    I love both! They have a lot to add to each other.

    Yeah, the first time you fart when you have someone in a triangle it's just like "Dude. Dude, I am SO sorry," but you get past it. We're all biological critters. It's one of the reasons I've always thought of BJJ as the worst martial art, because it's stinky, sweaty, filled with ringworm and the Capoeira coach never gets interested in one CD and decides that this year you will only be practicing to Lil Wayne's track "Right Above It".

    Every time I hear that song now I think that I should be taping up my fingers. :[
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2016
  8. Frodocious

    Frodocious She who MUST be obeyed! Moderator Supporter

    I normally have a 12 mile exclusion zone around me (I don't do up close and personal at all) but I have no problem rolling round the floor with random strangers in BJJ. I think it's because my mind classifies it into the 'just part of the sport' category and not the 'Ooh, you have to hug someone' category!
  9. philosoraptor

    philosoraptor carnivore in a top hat Supporter

    Yeah, I guess it's a contextual thing. I have a ritual for prepping for BJJ as well that kinda gets me in the right headspace. Quick shower, cup of coffee, listen to some inspirational music, then go. When people go in for the hug when you're meeting them it's like "Oh god, we're doing this aren't we? Where am I supposed to put my arms again?"
  10. Smitfire

    Smitfire Cactus Schlong

    And of course that restraining order on Mitch and Simon.
  11. Simon

    Simon Administrator Admin Supporter MAP 2017 Koyo Award

    What, it's Mitch and Simon now.

    Hello ladies.

    Last edited: Aug 17, 2016
  12. Ero-Sennin

    Ero-Sennin Well-Known Member Supporter

    There was only a lack of R2D2 commentary because I didn't know you had replied to the other thread until I had written the post for this thread! You're a murderer of self esteem and a derailer of threads! You're basically Satan, who is red! "Rated Red" is RIGHT!

    ::runs away making high pitched beeping and chewbacca noises whilst tears roll down his electronic cheek fur::

    Start a training log when you start BJJ. I wanna' read about all the farting in your face that happens ^_^
  13. Ero-Sennin

    Ero-Sennin Well-Known Member Supporter

    I want to roll with both of you just so you end up with my body hair between your teeth and both our clothing is soaked from MY sweat. And prior to that, we would of course have to greet each other for the first time so I would love to give you both a very awkwardly long hug just for kicks xD

    Just call me The Soul Scarrer
  14. Rated Red

    Rated Red ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Supporter

    More natural than cliche, how about that? ;) It seems to occur to alot of men after they've had children. There's a mutual understanding and respect from other parents and soon-to-be parents who know exactly where your worries, thoughts, concerns, wanting to protect, etc. come from.
  15. Rated Red

    Rated Red ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Supporter

    Let me ask you, how does listening to the same track, every class, allllll yearrrrr llllllong not provoke some kind of violence towards your instructor? Hahaha

    Hugging is food for the soul. You'll give into it one day...by force...whether you like it...or not :D

    Gi's do hold alot of sweat and stench. You could throw them in a bucket of disinfectant and bleach and they'd still have a lingering odor. They're gross. But then again so are pointe shoes.
  16. Rated Red

    Rated Red ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Supporter

  17. Rated Red

    Rated Red ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Supporter

    Stop making excuses, ChewD2!

    Or ringworm................RINGWORM..............RIIIIIIIIIIIING. WORMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!! :cry::cry::cry:
  18. Rated Red

    Rated Red ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Supporter

    Lovely picture Simon and you're photogenic...even while eating ice cream. Now that takes skill.
  19. philosoraptor

    philosoraptor carnivore in a top hat Supporter

    There's always a moment in BJJ practice where you really, really, really hope that the dude you were rolling with has curly body hair and it's not a pube in your mouth. Let me know if you're ever in Philly!
  20. philosoraptor

    philosoraptor carnivore in a top hat Supporter

    Has Guy Ritchie ever approached you for a film role?

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