URGENT - GLASGOW EARTHQUAKE APPEAL AT 00.54 ON MONDAY 7TH OCTOBER 2002 A MAJOR EARTHQUAKE HIT MEASURING 4.8 ON THE RICHTER SCALE EPICENTERED ON GLASGOW. Victims can be seen wandering aimlessly muttering: "Ah wiz shi**in' masel", "Ah need some jellies". The Earthquake decimated the area, causing approximately £12.67 worth of damage. Untold disruption and distress was caused: * Many were woken well before their giro arrived * Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish costas were damaged * Three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were disturbed *The cone fell off the head of the statue outside the Modern Art Gallery * Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting has happened in Glasgow *One resident, Mary-Alice McGregor, a 17 year old mother-of-three said "It was such a shock, little Chelsea came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Shauni slept through it. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning." *Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal. *The British Red Cross have so far managed to ship 4000 crates of buckfast to the area to help the stricken masses. *Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos. HOW YOU CAN HELP Clothing is most sought after. Items required include: - Sovvy rings Baseball caps Shell suits Tesco two stripe trainers White socks Chunky gold chains Food parcels may be harder to put together but are necessary all the same. Required foodstuffs include: - Faggots Buckfast Grey Peas Buckfast Pork Scratchings Buckfast Tripe and Onions Buckfast "Pigs Blood Pud" Buckfast Fray Bentos Pies Buckfast * uys chips, scraps and ginger for a family of four * can take a family to Coatbridge for the day,where children can sniff glue and spike up among the national collection of stinging nettles * 22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim Please send your credit card number.
LOL! That's the 4th version of that I've seen this week. Here's one of them..... MANCHESTER EARTHQUAKE APPEAL FUND Received 23rd October 2002 A major earthquake measuring 3.9 on the richter scale, hit on Monday 21 October 2002. It epicentered on Beswick, Manchester. Victims can be seen wandering aimlessly muttering : "Sorted", 'Top' and 'Arr Kid' . The Earthquake decimated the area, causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish costas were damaged. Three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were disturbed. Many were woken well before their giro arrived. Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting has happened in Manchester. One resident, Donna-Marie Dutton, a 17 year old mother-of-three said "It was such a shock, little Chantal-Leanne came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha this morning." Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal. The British Red Cross have so far managed to ship 4000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken masses. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos. * HOW YOU CAN HELP This appeal is to raise clothing and food parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in it. Clothing is most sought after. Items required include: - Baseball caps Fila Jackets Heavy Twill Trousers (Male) Shell Suits (Female) Boots. Man. Utd. shirts Food parcels may be harder to put together but necessary all the same. Required foodstuffs include: - Hollands Pies Black Peas Tripe and Onions "Pigs Blood Pud" Boddys Bitter Chips & Gravy - £2 buys chips, scraps and blue pop for a family of four - £10 can take a family to Salford for the day, where children can play on an unspoiled canal bank among the national collection of stinging nettles. - 22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim Please do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of "posh" housing is unfair on the population of neighbouring areas of Newton Heath and Moss Side. ====================
