considering moving on from my club, give me your thoughts.

Ok so I've been mulling over leaving my school for a bit for a while. Ive been there 8 years now but the culture has changed in ways I don't find positive.

During lockdown, I continued to pay to support the club even when classes weren't running, as best I could on the direct debits. When money got tighter and I asked to pause payments as I needed to live, my coach started complaining to me about the lack of support from members. Felt like I was being guilted when money was hard to come by.

As classes came back and we moved location, most of the adults had left, which made sparring harder to come by except the odd beginners who dont stick around. This is a problem for me as I have either teenagers/kids or people who can't give me the challenge I want.

My head instructor is less involved in the classes, and has hired a new teacher who I feel I don't gel with to help out. He teaches kata a different way than I was taught which Im fine with, but he gives conflicting instruction on other matters. Say for example this week, in sparring, we had the full kudo helmets on with the visor front. Head coach tells us to do open hand to not damage the knuckles and demonstrates this, so everyone sees. I do that and the new instructor scolds me, telling me that if I dont make full fists as punishment my partner gets to break all my fingers (Which I personally feel is a highly inappropriate thing to even gest about considering the consequences that would have for living, let alone my employment and day to day living).

It's been like this for a few months now, and as time's gone on I've felt less and less like I enjoy the classes. I've met some of the older students who were there before I started who left who does the karate out of the adults. The responses I get are usually the same: 'It got too much, I was picking up injuries to regularly.' We have trained quite hard compared to a lot of places I know, especially on conditioning and sparring but I wonder if this is all just a bunch of red flags or if I'm just frustrated with my own lack of progression (which I feel could be part of it, I've seldom felt the classes content helps me progress as we don't tend to cover the learning material I would need for future grades and I would need to pay more and do private sessions to do that which isn't a financially viable thing for me at the moment)

Overall, i've had less fun, less enjoyment and feel I'm not getting what I want out of it.

 

Aside from the Red flags your post raises about the club, remember a couple of things:

A) you're not obliged to stay. You're paying, you decide if what you're paying for is worth it.

2) you're meant to enjoy training. If you don't enjoy it, you won't get the most put of it. So again, is your money being spent wisely?

Without even considering those two, just on the red flags alone I would leave straight away and find a new club.

 

That's the thing, I didn't feel I could. That makes me wonder why and if I feel comfortable enough there raising concerns I may have. I think at this point that says enough too me.

One thing I have seriously thought about since the finger breaking comment is how that would impact me. I work as a freelance storyboard artist and animator. I work out for fun and enjoy martial arts, but I don't/can't do a lot of really high impact stuff because a damaged hand could potentially ruin my career. It's part of why I stopped judo a few years back as my club was very fight orientated and competition focused, injuries were commonplace and that's all fine when you're young and strong, but I don't have that luxury of risking busted hands and going back to a job that may or may not be impacted by it, because my livelihood is based on that. Screwed fingers, Im done.

Saying about places, though I know a lot of people frown on the concept of online training but I had an epipheny. I've wanted to travel and train in different systems (if you ever saw fight quest, that kind of deal), but online learning through covid has really opened up the chances for me to find styles nowhere near me. Realistically, if I did that, I could learn the best I could and film myself to have a huge reference of material for animation fight sequences, so it wouldnt be a waste for me to train like this. I'd be able to do things flexibly (which helps as I have two jobs to fit my training around one being personal training) and then I still have my fun without injury risk that can benefit my freelance work, which I want to make fulltime.

 

As others said, if you feel any kind of stress that results in the training not making you happy, but rather, worried, you're not obliged to continue doing that. Just the fact that you're having second thoughts about training there is reason enough to leave.

It is a shame the instructor would request payments from you. He should be grateful you paid even if you didn't have to, but you first need to support yourself. Even in lockdown, did he not have the opportunity to start online classes? Both my schools did that so the trainings could continue and they'd have something to offer the students for their money. He can't complain to his students, especially if he didn't do all he could to stay afloat.

The thing about breaking your fingers is very inappropriate indeed. In case it was a lightherted remark that slipped the teacher whom you know well enough, I guess I would pardon it, but it doesn't change how inappropriate it was. Even if your previous teacher didn't urge you to use open palms, if you, for any reason at all weren't comfortable striking with a closed fist, I don't feel you should be forced to do that. You're there for fun, it's a hobby, the club isn't an army. It's good to push the students a bit, but not in this way.
I also did hear a threat of physical punishment during my time training, which I rather liked however: "Guys, make sure you don't punch the girls to the chest. Girls, if someone hits your chest, kick their groin!" The sparring session with a rather large number of people went without issue, then. Guys were really careful with their aim

If you want to learn about different styles with a flexible schedule, and you aren't a complete newbie, there's nothing wrong with online classes. You won't get the sparring partners you mentioned you were lacking, either, and I feel online classes may be harder from a motivation point of view, but if you feel tempted to try that, why not?

 

Well my background is 8 years bujinkan as a black belt, judo competition background for 7 years getting to 3rd kyu, 3rd kyu goju ryu I crostrained with judo, kickboxing for six years. I think I have enough of a background in competition and this to make sense of movements and such, but Im not here to open a gym and just have fun, so I think online might be fine for now.

 

To me, it sounds like you need a break or to move on. It could be a perfect time to take a break from the school and check out some other places (or just give the body a rest). Or, it could be time to move on to a new school. Either way, I'd have a chat with the head instructor in a polite way to keep my bridges open but I would let him (her) know a few of my concerns as well as the reason for taking a break, just so they know that you may be back.

 

That's what Im going to do, I wouldn't want to just vanish on him after all these years

 

If "Overall, i've had less fun, less enjoyment and feel I'm not getting what I want out of it." is true - simply say BYE BYE and move on - will it be difficult? Of course it will. Is it the right thing for you to do - YES !!!!!!

 

So an update. I've paused my membership with the club and one of the guys at the gym I work at and i had a discussion about where he trains, he's a competing muay thai fighter and the club he's at run technical sessions at a time I can actually make once a week. Im gonna go try out there and see how i feel after a few sessions, it's pay as you go as opposed to direct debits which works well as a PT.

I think if I got back to martial arts like I did as an early 20's, pre lockdown enthusiast, I think I'd forgo systems with kata and the like. I kinda feel past that and want to learn more straightforward things like punches, kicks, throws, elbows, etc. While belts can be a nice way to reflect progress, I looked back on the way I was graded at my club and realized there was more in my 3rd kyu grading for goju ryu than most blackbelts I know in other styles (gradings were over six hours long and at least an hour was full contact sparring, then you had hojo undo, fitness tests, makiwara, sit up and press up requirments by rank, kata was a part but we had to do bunkai for all of them etc) so really I don't feel there's much point in my doing systems where most of the time is kata now.

 

If you are worries about your hands because of work, why don't you try a eskrima system? With sparring the hands are very well protected.

My teacher always says: "your movement is your certificate". This saying means alot to me.

My DeCampo brother Robert Parkes wrote a very nice article about it.
https://www.kali.com.au/post/your-movement-is-your-certificate

The guy on the video above the article is my teacher Paolo Pagaling.

 

The last part was regarding your remarks about grading, I never liked gradings too.....

 

I've looked about and no escrima near me sadly, but it's something I am keeping an eye on if I were to move house (which may happen in the next 5 years or so, I want to go to a city)

 

Yes, you should be having fun, but always remember, you will get hurt in martial arts, its a natural given. As far as leaving, when there is a problem, discuss the issue to try and find a solution. I in one hand understand the sensei trying to get money, he has expenses, but, the sensei should of found a more respectful way of asking. Remind the sensei, martial arts teaches the importance of respect, and the manner in which he or she asked was not respectful. As far as sparring, I do not know what level or belt you are at, but, watch many videos of martial arts, watch for mistakes or things you might of done differently, and imagine you in the fight. You do not need to do this with karate, do this with any form of martial arts. One of the biggest problems with today's school is that students only learn to spare against their own form, in a real fight against another form or someone off the street, the person reverts back to street fighting, and forgetting everything they have learned. I will warn you, if you switch to a different form, the sensei will tell you to forget everything you have learned and how you were taught, for his or her way may be completely different, and this can go for the same form as well. Things to look for when choosing a sensei, watch 1 or 2 of the classes, look for the method of teaching, what kind of respect is taught and demonstrated. Usually, the older the sensei the more refined the teaching methods will be. I hope this helps your situation.

 

Reading this I'm not sure you understood what I put in my posts...

 

I apologize if it seems like I missed what you were saying, I was just trying to add more to the answer then what exactly you were stating, I have a tendency of doing that lol. Essentially, try talking to the owner/head Sensei and voice your concerns, if you can not get the issues resolved, then you should move on. However, until then, try finding a way to work out with other classmates at a different location.