Mental control and self-defence

Boxing

 

Andrew, I am currently at work so am unable to spend time writing a reply. If you send me a PM (personnal message) I will reply later tonight when I get home.

There is much confusion regarding this subject and there is a lot you can do before the fight even starts.

 

Andrew, it seems fine my end.

Click on my name (in blue) and scroll down to 'send private message'.

 

Good point Andrew, I believe you need at least 10 posts.

I have has a prompt on my ipod, so will give a better reply tonight.

 

Yeah you need to do a certain number of posts before you can use PM. Think its 10 but not sure.

Sorry I was just out to college had to keep it short, looking at your list:

Your confidence will go through the roof doing any hard (as in frequent sparring) martial art I was the shyest kid you'd ever meet last year now I'm quite a mouthy so and so

I say a "hard" martial art just because I think the pressure you're under from the start by having to spar gives you a massive self confidence boost in a shorter time than you would doing something like karate. You see results faster and become more sure of your abilities through using them rather than waiting for something like a grading to give yourself some credibility.

Not that I'm discrediting karate or other traditional arts at all, they do offer confidence boosting and self discipline as well its just a personal feeling that more sport orientated arts give you those results faster and boxing is at the top of that heap. The discipline you have to learn quick to improve and survive the sparring is invaluable and every person I know whose done boxing has strongly recommended doing it.

Understandable. SPeaking for myself training has made me less likely to get in fights though since I have much more confidence i can handle myself and also because I'm exposed to fighting a few times a week in the gym I don't feel any wounded pride or need ot prove myself in a street fight. Far easier to ignore people now and be quietly confident.

This is the main reason I said boxing its got a solid reputation for teaching useful, appliable techniques that

work on the street if you have to use it. As I mentioned on the other quote though its mental control is brilliant you're exposed to violence and you end up sparring so much it becomes a normal thing you end up able to ignore stuff a lot more because you've been in fights, you've been hit, you know you can handle it.

I'd be careful with these, there are some really solid courses (Geoff Thompson's stuff and the DART system come to mind) but there's a fair few rip off classes that are bettter off avoiding.

Nah, I've seen a 70 year old owning kids at judo age isn't as big a boundary as you'd imagine and 30 definately isn't too old

Hopefully thats explained it a bit.

 

Andrew, first off I would say avoid the self defence courses. As Southpaw 535 has already eluded to, there is some real poor quality stuff out there.

At 30 years old you are certainly not to old, I would say the same if you were 60.

Self defence and confidence start before you even get to the dojo and there is much you can do to avoid a confrontation.

There are different types of aggression and this does not always have to lead to violence.

Reactive Aggression.

Reactive aggression results from underlying stress, inability to achieve goals and personality conflicts.
The person does not wish to be violent, but he/she cannot help themselves. They cannot find an alternative and lose control as a result of extreme frustration and anger. When dealing with someone prone to reactive aggression, verbal communication to identify and alleviate the problem may be your best option.

Instumental Aggression

This is aggression with the intent to gain i.e. material gain through assault or robbery, bullying or sexual advances.
This person could be a bully, mugger, rapist, hostage taker or anyone using violence for his/her own materialistic gains. Typical bullies consider they are never wrong, blame everyone but themselves, they often become angry, irritable and violent when experiencing stress. They can be charming to outsiders or superiors and can be devious and dishonest

Pathological Aggression

Pathological aggression is typically caused through mental health conditions or the abuse of drugs or alcohol.
As a result of underlying physiological conditions, the aggressor may not be aware or held responsible or his/her actions. This form of violence can be unprovoked, extreme and unpredictable.

So from this small example you can see that not all aggression can be dealt with using the same technique, be that verbal or physical. There are different skills required in each of the above examples which include some of the following: -

Passive Responce

This is being able to deal with an aggressive situation without the need for a physical or verbal conflict. The phrase “Help me understand what you mean” can diffuse a lot of emotional tension in a conflict.
In addition your body language is important in calming a potentially violent situation. The need for a positive attitude and strong body language is essential. When confronted with aggression, communication is 80% physical. Research shows us that people with weak body language and low self- esteem are more open and likely to encounter verbal and physical abuse. Always be assertive with body language and wherever possible extend your personal space
You then have the powerful tool that is your voice. Strong voice commands will deter your aggressor. Again research shows us that aggressors confronted by vocally aggressive victims are deterred, as you no longer present an easy target. Good vocal communication lets the aggressor know you will not allow them to invade your personal space. There is no need to shout, as this will be seen as an aggresive move on your part by the aggressor.

Create a Fence

Much is written in regard to the fence, but it is probably better expalined by Geoff Thompson in this you tube clip.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6OJnZG3joA"]YouTube - The Fence - Geoff Thompson - Clip 1[/ame]

Tony Blauer and his Spear System is also very good.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6CdH6xHcgo"]YouTube - Blauer - Flinch & 1st two secs of a fight[/ame]

How do I put this into practice.

You said that you had a concern that you may get into a fight. It is worth trying verbal techniques in your everyday life to see how people respond.

1. Someone cuts you up at the lights. He leans out of the window and verbally gives you both barrels. How do you respond and why?

He is not having a go at you directly. He probably has a crap life, terrible boss, domineering wife, unruly kids, money worries and so on. He is not having a go at you, you are just a manifestation of whatever is wrong in his life, so next time it happens your responce is " sorry mate, my fault, hope your okay". he thinks he has won because you took the defensive (he thinks) stance and he goes about his way thinking he bullied you into that responce. You though have actually won because there was no confrontation and you have the knowledge that he continues on with his crap life.

2. "What are you looking at or are you staring at me"? Your responce (put up a fence) "sorry, I didn't even realize, I was miles away". All said matter of fact, like nothing is wrong. I have actually had this happen and used this reply.

Now there are several examples I could give and not all will require just words, but my point is I have written a detailed reply to your question without any mention of a physical responce. This is because that takes a whole lot of practice and trying it without the necessary skills could get you in a heap of trouble.

Remember self-defence is not a single skill or rigid set of rules. It is a collection of habits, attitudes, activities, resources or tools that you can use to form an overall approach to your own safety and well-being.

Find yourself a good boxing or martial arts class, go and enjoy it without the worry of having to defend yourself every time you walk into the car park in the dark. it is no good training for a fight that may never happen. Once you get the bug and a bit of skill behind you, then ask yourself if what you are doing is effective in the street.

You have got to 30 years old unharmed, so train without the worry, but be alert.

 

I do brazilian jujitsu and its mental effect on me has been phenomenal both in controlling aggression and particuarly in turning round depression I suffered with heavily last year. Couple of hours in the gym in the evening focusing on nothing but the technique is awesome

Defence wise I don't know enough about regular jujitsu to say but the standing element might make it better than bjj. Judo is just a great art to do, its practical and you need crisp technique to make it work so its great for focusing yourself.

All three of them have the bonus of being predominantly sport arts so they can't afford to teach you anything that doesn't work and you'll frequently be pressure tested

 

"Quite a lot" is very subjective. £10 a week isn't all that much if you're getting multiple classes. 4 classes a week at £2.50 would be a bargain in London. On the other hand, £15 a week for one class would be, in my view, a rip off in the vast majority of cases.

 

Those are pretty hefty prices... How long are the classes?

 

£4 a session. Sessions run for 2-3 hours depending on the availability of the venue.