Zombies.. 'nuff said

Discussion in 'General Martial Arts Discussion' started by Van Zandt, Jan 11, 2009.

  1. Dikzzz

    Dikzzz Valued Member

    Now ladies and gentlemen, you need to think more laterally.

    These are fast zombies. So you need to think more about the way one would deal with say a bear or lion.

    So something that would break your friends ankle or knee (a nice sneaky low side kick or stomp), followed by running away. :)

    (you don't have to be faster than the bear, just faster than you friend.........)
  2. Fire-quan

    Fire-quan Banned Banned

    RE-capitating them???? I knew it - you're one of them!
  3. Yohan

    Yohan In the Spirit of Yohan Supporter

    See, this is why you got that award. I think you just hit my e-g-spot for stupid Martial Arts questions. I love talking about zombies.

    I would say 2 things because they are fast zombies:

    1. Obviously, they are fast, and you aren't going to be having lunch with them so they are going to be coming at you from a distance. So there's going to be a bunch of overcommitment, and momentum.

    2. They are sharp, so they wouldn't lay on the ground forever if you knocked them over.


    You would want to toss the ones that came running with you. You wouldn't want to get close to them (obviously), so standard Judo throws are out of the question because of the close (usually chest to chest or chest to back) contact. I'd go with some Aikido or Ninjutsu or some other weapon art with plenty of wrist and hand throws for the grappling. I'd also want to incapacitate the ones I'd thrown, at least briefly before I got away. Like I said, they are sharp, so they'd probably try to grab you when they hit the ground. It would be important to learn some 1 up 1 down stuff with some head kicks a la MMA.

    For the punching and stuff I'm honestly going to say I don't know. They'd be coming at you so fast and going for the bite, it would be super risky to throw a straight bunch. If you missed once you'd be Zombie food. I might try a push kick on a Zombie that was coming at me, but then again there would be so much momentum you might get knocked over even if you connect solid, and you'd be Zombie food. Same with the roundhouse kick, if you didn't time it just right, they'd pass the shin and you'd be zombie food. Just can't see trying to hit a fast zombie is all.

    On the real I think I'd try a combination of run fu and prayer.

    For the slow zombies it would be straight up WTF TKD and Aikido and I'll explain why later.
  4. Smitfire

    Smitfire Cactus Schlong

    German longsword is far to heavy. One missed swing or over enthusiastic decapitation and the rest of the zombies would be on you before you could recover. And that's not to mention how tangled it would get when trying to escape through undergrowth and the added weight.
    You need something that's heavy enough to get the head off but light enough to be easily recovered on the back swing so you can striking in combinations and not over commit. Zombies attack in packs people. Remeber that.
    Katana would be one way to go.
    Or even better a high calibre pistol in one hand and a machete in the other. The machete would also serve to clear debris, chop firewood and even prepare game at a push.
  5. Sam

    Sam Absent-ish member

    See now I think if you have stepping off centre down you'll be just fine. I'm putting my money on the Zombies not being too clever and coming at you with their weight forward, all you will need to do is step off centre, help their balance forward a little then you can either attack from the side or behind, then run away - very fast.

    I think the more important question here is how would you deal with multiple attacker-zombies?
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2009
  6. CosmicFish

    CosmicFish Aleprechaunist

    Well if they're as daft as you claim then I reckon Duck-Fu would be your best bet. When several charge you from different directions, duck at the last minute and they'll smack into each other.
  7. Fire-quan

    Fire-quan Banned Banned

    Oh come on, that's just ridiculous - that's JUST like that time you insisted that BJJ would be effective for fighting leprosy victims then had to go to that island in the South Pacific and video yourself proving it. Any idiot knows that a zomby's arm would simply sheer off at the joint if you tried any kind of aikdio or grappling, leaving them free to stab you in the eye with the sharp stump. Honestly, I don't know where you get this stuff. Think about it, man, THINK... think of the children, the little children - you can kick their heads clean off with a low kick.
  8. Fire-quan

    Fire-quan Banned Banned

    Jeesh - your genius award is on the way, genius - did you ever even stop to consider for ONE SECOND that the zombies might know wing chun?
  9. Sam

    Sam Absent-ish member

    No need, my genius award is on the shelf next to my, modestly self titled, worlds best dancer award. I missed out on the spelling and grammar one to six a year old unfortuantely.

    Anyway of course the zombies wouldn't know wing chun! Who (or what, as is more accurate here) in their right mind would learn Wing Chun over.......well, anything else?

    (for the record I'm only kidding before someone whinges at me) :p
    Last edited: Jan 12, 2009
  10. Happy Feet Cotton Tail

    Happy Feet Cotton Tail Valued Member

    Well first of all, fighting them without a weapon or proper equipment is a real problem, if you kick em in the head or cut them or bash them, and their blood goes in your mouth/eye's or an open wound, your in a hell of a lot of trouble.

    My plan, aikido, you gotta be able to throw and go on the move, with some control you could hurl them in a way that would break their neck. Or injure to disable them.

    Weapons wise, guns are good, if you can use them, have the right ammo, are a decent marksman, and a quick reload hand.

    Overall sword sounds cool something curved good for slicing and chopping rather than stabbing like the katana, also possibly a club of some sort, not too long maybe 2 ft long max.

    Note: Cover up all possible orrificis!!

    On a second note, igf your feeeling brave, strap duck tape over their mouth and they can't do anything about it. :p
  11. Van Zandt

    Van Zandt Mr. High Kick

    As retarded as this thread started out, ya'll have actually given food for thought for some reality-based SD training for dealing with drunks running at you full speed and trying to bite your nose off...
  12. axelb

    axelb Master of Office Chair Fu

    Filipino Escrima with 2 machettes would be a good option also, 2 short weapons for decapitation fast and quick.
  13. Wadey

    Wadey Valued Member

    Thats a bit excessive for a drunk running at you trying to bite your nose isn't it!!! Surely a swift punch would surfice?
  14. Van Zandt

    Van Zandt Mr. High Kick

    Actually, I believe they consider that sufficient force in Manchester. It's not rare to see a bouncer bludgeon a drunk in the head with a 16" metal pipe, then whip out a tazer and stun him while he's on the floor, usually zapping him to the point where he loses all control over his bowels...
  15. Gary

    Gary Vs The Irresistible Farce Supporter

    Motorized full plate armour and a couple of chainsaw nunchucks should do the trick I reckon.

    If it's kust empty hand then I'd say Muay Thai because that's my default answer to 'what martial art would you use.....'.
  16. Fire-quan

    Fire-quan Banned Banned

    Dude, we call that foreplay.
  17. Van Zandt

    Van Zandt Mr. High Kick


    I can see this thread de-evolving into a discussion of "my town is harder than your town". Can we please keep it on the serious topic of handling zombies.

    Thank you.
  18. Gary

    Gary Vs The Irresistible Farce Supporter

    What's a decomposing girl like you doing in a shopping mall like this? :D
  19. axelb

    axelb Master of Office Chair Fu

    In our town I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.
  20. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

    You lucky, lucky barsteward!:rolleyes:

    If we'd have been middle class like you obviously were.............
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2009

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