Discussion in 'General Martial Arts Discussion' started by orcslayer, Aug 1, 2006.
I think we just found the most effective method.
Look, I've seen the entire __ of the dead seies, 28 days later, Resident Evil apocalypse and enough B moveis to know you don't get a choice in these matters.
One moment your walking down a corridor then Bam! Zombie comes through the wall and grabs you! Thats how it goes down in the real world and thats what you need to be ready for.
If the zombie isn't holding on to you then you should either
a) Shoot it
b) Run away
If the zombie is holding on to you then you need to
1) Make it let go
2) Run away
Theres no where int these scenarios where the concept of hitting the zombie with your hands comes into play, I'd also be extremely suspect about hiting the zombie with a weapon because to my mind thats still to damn close.
If I have to pick an art it's BJJ shortly followed by free running and regular trips to the climbing wall.
Being a cannibal, zombies don't really bother me.
It tends to just be a contest between me and the zombie to see who can eat the other first.
So in a nutshell, although you don't WANT to grapple with a zombie, you need to know HOW TO grapple with one so that you can deal with the situation if one of THEM decides to grapple with YOU.
Is that a fair comment?
Read it?! I vandalized it with dirty pictures and derogatory phrases!
Ok, so we've covered fighting tactics for human zombies, but what about animal zombies?
And lets not let this turn into a "zombie giant squid" type of debate...
Would zombie animals only attack their own kind?
Lets hope then that they aren't lesbian zombies...
*looks around* :Angel:
The worst situation you can be in regarding both animal and human (did I say human?) zombies is when a reguarly nice zombie - you know the kind, the bloke you see down the pub most times who you thought just had a bad skin disease or something) is out with his zombie dog (caught the skin disease from him is what everyone said) and you do soemthing stupid like ask him to pick his dog muck up, or throw a stick for the dog. We all know zombie dogs hate sticks. If they run too fast they'll lose a leg!
So in this situation you have two zombies after you. You can't get involved with the dog, cos the RSPCA will be down on you so fast you wont know what's hit you, everyone thinks the man-zombie is the nice bloke from the pub, so you'll hardly be mr. popular if you knock his block off, literally.
You have two choices:
1)Reason with him. Offer the dog some human meat or something
2)Ring the predator. Every streetwise guy who lives anywhere near a zombie should have the predator's number.
3)if you're unlucky and the predator is tied up fighting aliens, act like a zombie and make your way to the nearest 80s vinyl shop.
Oh, and for anyone interested, I happen to have just opened a new dojo, practising the art of zom-be-do (way of the walking dead), which teaches only the deadliest street zombie skills known to man, or zombie.
Black belt in twelve minutes or your money back!
Oh god no. Don't start on that one.
Basically for a fighting chance you need weapons obviously;
If its one zombie then I want it on the end of a Bo.
2-6 then I'd settle for a pair of escrima sticks.
Anything more and its either automatic weaponry or a clear exit.
No blades, especially chainsaws. The risk of bloodletting and contamination are too high.
There, a serious answer, happy now?
Yep, just about spot on. Like I say, guns or running the hell away F.T.W.
The only time it's acceptable to engage Zombies in hand to hand by choice is when you look like this:
And let's be honest, when you look like that you can do whatever the hell you want anyway.
nimals can't turn into zombies, don't be silly!
The "Solanum" virus kills them, only humans are able to be re-animated...
Or so I'm lead to believe
Western Martial Arts way of dealing with zombies HERE
But where did she hide that sword
Hmmm.....I'll take a variety of methods. Step one - Call upon Holy Might. Step two - Use fire and holy water arrow(ever played Thief?) when they are at a distance. For close range, blunt objects such as Holy Water Sprinklers and Blessed bo staves work wonders. Also, if you happen to be a cleric or paladin, Turn/Rebuke Undead works good. Other good spells include Undeath to Death, Control Undead, Battletide, Fireball, Hellball. But most importantly of all, NEVER allow the target to bite, bleed, or otherwise come in contact with you.
You don't know about that kind of sword? It can turn invisible upon its master's command.
I would simply use pool cues:
"Don't stop me now I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball don't stop me now
If you wanna have a good time just give me a call
Don't stop me now ('Cause I'm having a good time)
Don't stop me now (Yes I'm having a good time)
I don't want to stop at all"
Or I might use a vinyl record - right between the eyes!!!!
Zombies can handle a lot of punishment, so standing and striking with them is not advised. However, they are slow and do not practice breakfalls (too busy eating people). So it seems the best approach (when weapons are not available) is to use judo throws...
Wrong! Try doing a judo throw and you'll wind up bitten!
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