Your most "unorthodox" weapon

Discussion in 'Weapons' started by Zankuro, Sep 27, 2005.

  1. Zankuro

    Zankuro Valued Member

    After browsing some random old threads, I saw the one called "Everything is a weapon", in which some people mentioned using a banana to defend oneself.

    That got me to wonder.. what is everyone's random object that wouldn't be considered a "real" weapon, that they specifically intend to be one?

    I aquired a banana made of solid marble a few months ago.. the thing looks like an innocent fruit as a glance, but it feels and impacts more solidly than any of the various kubotans I've played with. :rolleyes:

    In response to some family members' concern about my walking home at night after class, I've also adopted carrying a few acorns on my way back. They make nice shuriken substitutes. :p
  2. tellner

    tellner Valued Member

    Uh, you sure it's meant to be a banana, sport? Better check and see if it's actually a personal relaxation device. :p

    My list of most unlikely improvised weapons:

    1) Raw egg
    2) Fluffy teddy bear
    3) Bookmark
    4) Cat
    5) Eyeglasses
    6) Toothpick

    These might require a little explanation...

    1) Raw egg - I once got a belligerent drunk at a party to swallow one on a dare. While the egg and about a gallon of partially used beer were making a reappearance we escorted him out the door

    2) Fluffy teddy bear - Especially for women's self defense. Toss hard at guy's groin. When his hands reflexively come down punch him really, really hard in the head

    3) Bookmark - Go to the website for the St. John's College bookstore in Santa Fe, NM. Take a close look at the desecription for the bookmark.

    4) Cat - Pick up cat by scruff. Shove into attacker's face. While cat is doing its impression of the face-hugger from the first Alien movie take appropriate action

    5) Eyeglasses - Courtesy of my first Silat teacher. We drilled taking off glasses and sticking the earpiece into someone's eye in a single motion. Figure you're going to lose your glasses in a fight. Make it work to your advantage

    7) Toothpick - Courtesy of his teacher. Stick toothpick into back of other guy's hand. Use the resulting pattern break as indicated.
  3. Zankuro

    Zankuro Valued Member

    Heh, yeah. I found it in a basket of stone fruit. There were some apples, pears, and oranges, too.. the banana just happened to be the best configuration for combat. :p

    Toothpicks.. I've had some interesting applications of toothpicks, too. Good times. :rolleyes:
  4. splice

    splice New Member

    Ah, the ubiquitous banana. Better not try and come at me with one, I'm prepared!

    We haven't done them, have we? Right. Bananas. How to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. Now you, come at me with this banana. Catch! Now, it's quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. First of all you force him to drop the banana; then, second, you eat the banana, thus disarming him. You have now rendered him 'elpless.

    Suppose he's got a bunch.

    Shut up.

    Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

    And perhaps my most unorthodox weapon would be humour :)
  5. Talyn

    Talyn Reality Hacker

    Inspired by The Bourne Identity: A biro. Good as a stabbing weapon, providing the pen has some sturdiness to it.

    Something my Kung Fu instructor taught me: a rolled up sheet of paper. Again, works well as a stabbing weapon, esp to the head or vital points.

    Wired computer mouse: Ever seen one used as a flail or miniature rope-dart?

    Umbrella: Useful for deflecting punches and thrusting, and if it has a hooked handle, welcome to the world of hook swords.
  6. Matt 90

    Matt 90 New Member

    I like using a chopstick really hurts and good for getting pressure points.
  7. karate P.belt 2

    karate P.belt 2 New Member

    hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm... well I can't think of much but I'll post some

    banana: ever had something moist and mushy in your eye?

    dirt: aim for they eyes

    trash: a lot of people won't like having week old raw meat on them

    keys: good slashing/stabbing weapon alternatley you could throw them at him but then again that would be helping him steal something from you

    water: throw some of it at the eyes and keep im from seeing for a few seconds while you disarm him in any way possible

    a bottle: perticularly good if full

    change: distract him

    just a few things you might be carrying around
  8. Alexander

    Alexander Possibly insane.

    Belt possibly? Used as a flail or to wrap aroud their neck and take them down.
  9. clemsontkd

    clemsontkd New Member

    my school books, my circuits book should make them run. x-box controller...yanno the giant ones. stapler is another good one.
  10. The Kestrel

    The Kestrel Valued Member

    heavy coins.
    I've seen these opening wounds in the head. Specially the older ones

    AOL Cds, they're full of spyware and they're very versatile:
    1-You gan give them as a gift to whoever threatens you. If he has a Pc he should be really screwed.
    2-Trow them at the face.

    Alcohol-Nice if trown into Eyes.

    Forks with a wire. It makes nice for a rope-dart.
  11. Peacemaker

    Peacemaker New Member

    For direct assault: Hot coffee, shoes, backpack, ....

    For escape: you could leave behind a trail of banana peel as you run away, hopefully one of the attackers will slip on it.
  12. karate P.belt 2

    karate P.belt 2 New Member

    why would you be carrying these around though I mean I could sorta see the alcohol if it was in beer or something or the cofee if it was in a travel mug but both would be hard to throw at someone for

    BTW LOL at the aol disc
  13. TheDarkJester

    TheDarkJester 90% Sarcasm, 10% Mostly Good Advice.

    Anyone remember Pogs?

    I think I have a tube of aluminum discs still lying around.

    Personally I think a chair/bench is the best weapon.. theres usually one around. And I think it would satisfy the hollywood side of me to break a bench over an attackers head in a fight.
  14. Stolenbjorn

    Stolenbjorn Valued Member

    If i understand the threadstarter correctly, he's after weapons that are camouflaged as harmless stuff.

    Then I can recomend a magazine (be it about martial arts, cars, old aircraft, styling, whatever) If rolled up tightly enough, it can be used to stab really hard with. My teacher dented a fencingmask and sent me sprawling to the ground while demonstrating this little improvised self-defence -weapon.

    A wallet that is chained to your trousers can allso become handy. Just tear the chain loose from your pants, then use the chain to catch and wrap up arms/knives/etc.

    This is really all about seeing patterns in the environment around you and to be a bit imaginative.

    If you don't have a good imagination, you could allways make yourself a little engraved impliment of wood, and call it a religious prayerdevise -and wear it when you walk the streets. (A tip i got from a Kali Shikaran-seminar last weekend ;) )
  15. Trampler

    Trampler Fire upon the Void

    I would like to test my little sharp Masquerade Cross on chain over my neck...
  16. pgsmith

    pgsmith Valued dismemberer

    Just about anything can easily be made to be an imaginary weapon. I would be far more interested in what people have actually used as a weapon in a real encounter. I'll start. The first one that comes to mind is a pair of tennis shoes tied together at the laces. I used it as a club to smack the other fellow in the head, and then wrapped him with the laces to choke him out.
  17. Takemaru-san

    Takemaru-san New Member

    I once shoved grass into my older brothers eyes while we where fighting.It worked great,I kicked him at least 3 times in the stomach!Hehehe.
  18. Jang Bong

    Jang Bong Speak softly....big stick

    A decent dog-lead can be very hand both defensively and for attacking - that is without the addition of the dog herself :D

    In my training bag (for a laugh) I keep a dogs pull-toy that consists of 5 plastic sausages strung together on a rope. In total is is virtually the same lenth as my nunchaku, so I get the kids laughing by using it for my 'forms'. :D
  19. Killbot

    Killbot Valued Member

    Shirt or jacket sleeve...kind of works like a third tie-up arm and leaves your other hands free to do some whoopin'....actually used this once or twice on drunks.

    Bar scene: nothing nastier than a cue ball tucked in your hand to hit someone with.

    leather belt wrapped around the knuckles with the excess bit hanging like a bit of a whip...helps let you gauge some distance, keeps them at bay.

    backpacks and briefcases are good for defending against a knife...knife gets stuck in them and with a simple twist, the attacker looses his weapon advantage

    and i guess spit in his eye...everyone flinches when you do that. followed by an immedate attack to the same side is pretty effective.

    Unfortunately, most of these don't work on Zombies..... :D
    Last edited: Sep 29, 2005
  20. tellner

    tellner Valued Member

    Fair enough. The most unusual weapons I have personally used were the afore-mentioned raw egg, a briefcase, and my own ignorance of current slang.

    The story of the raw egg has already been related.

    The briefcase was used to control the other guy's head. I handed it to him. While he was trying to figure out what was going on, why I'd done this and what it meant to the fight I kicked him in the knee, hit him on the back of the head with a ladder rung and ran like hell before he got up. Of course, I knew exactly when and where he was going to attack and had planned and practiced the response for days. Easier than the dojo. There I'm lucky if I get half a step's warning :D

    My ignorance, well, it was one of the most fortuitous cockups of my life. I was in the wrong part of town to be a lost, overweight White guy. When the Interview happened the first question out of his mouth was "Is that Mace in your pocket?" I said no, it was a pocket knife. He asked if he could have it. I replied by doing the draw-and-flick-open, showing him the business end of the edge and saying "See, it's a knife." Don't think he'd ever seen a serrated Endura before. He asked what I used it for. I answered truthfully that I was a mushroom farmer and used it to cut mushrooms.

    That was the kicker. You see, I didn't realize that at that time "mushroom" meant "someone who got shot in the driveby just because they happened to be in the way of a bullet". It came from the great Paleolithic videogame Centipede. Without realizing it I'd told him that not only was I going to cut him, but it wasn't even personal. He was just a minor obstacle.

    He suddenly got a lot more respectful and asked. "You haven't cut no Black man have you?" which got a (truthful again) reply of "Not today," and ended the encounter after a couple more words.

    If I'd been more up to date in my slang it just wouldn't have worked.

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