Huh. I just got that the other day. & when I told them that I hadn't, they didn't believe me!!! Some people...
We had some guy turn up wearing a black belt and faded old Gi telling us he was training at Rubber Tanto's dojo and had also trained under other various masters. He was right into the "ninja culture" spent the whole night just doing his own thing and trying to teach the kyu grade he was training with.Turns out he was just some "teacher" from one of the fake styles that had turned up a for awhile to RT's dojo, he was not a shodan in any authentic style. I was told by my instructor to train with him next time he turned up however I was taken ill the next week from a major infection in a depressed fracture in my shin and could not train for several months so never got the chance to have him enlighten me. As far as I know he did not ever turn up again. :cry: :yeleyes:
my favorite, from my ninja days, was a guy who showed up dressed all in black complete with cloak who claimed to be a elf whose ears where cropped as a child so he could fit into human society... he was also trained in Lin Kuei ninjitsu... there were several "teach me to climb walls, sneak around, catch swords, etc... types" but they are so common they are forgetable... back when I first started ninpo, at 16 years old, I had a training group complete with the Homosexual stalker who had a tendency to overheat while we grappled and needed lots of time for himself... he eventually made the full on pass at me stating his desire to reveal the "real man inside of me"... I told him to check his hormones and train or leave... he left and wrote my Mother a letter that made her think I was gay and had broken off a long term relationship with this guy... I heard from him a few years later in a very wierd letter... three sentences written vertically spaced randomly on the page recalling our faded relationship... needless the say the sheriffs office was notified and letter was filed away just in case... take care, steve
I guess it's good that the dojo I train at isn't really open to the public, and my sensei screens all potential new members before even inviting them to come check out a class..... But Lin Keui, that takes the cake. I hope his name wasn't Sub-Zero or his main book of study wasn't "Skills of the Vagabonds" My most memorable "people" however was just recently, and not from class, but at my job. I install car electronics for the US's largest consumer electronics retailer and it was almost closing time. I was ringing out my last customer and this guy and his son came in. They asked me if my name was Dale (not to be confused with the other Dale on here ) so naturally I said yes, thinking someone from Mobile Electronics sent them back to the bay to schedule an appointment. He told me he heard from an employee in the store that I study martial arts, and introduced himself as a master. During the discussion, he told me that he and his son were knight templars of hwarang-do, and that their style was based on the hwarang, samurai, and ninja (he didn't know that I studied Ninjutsu at this time). He then proceeded to show me all these techniques with his son, in the middle of our install bay. It was kinda funny to watch. "You can win against any style of fighter with this art" he said. Then he turned his back to his son and told his son to come at him like a boxer. So his son does this little foot shuffle and punches at him from the side, which the father blocks and puts him in a lock. Then he said to his son, come at me like a Tae Kwon Do guy, so his son goes into a Back stance, and punches at him again, and he gets his son in the same lock. He told me to come check out his school, where the first lesson (which he said was titled, "How not to get hit") was free. He said if I study the art for 3 years under the grandmasters, I could open my own school and make hundreds of thousands of dollars. And when I get to black belt, I get a free samurai sword. He asked me what arts have I studied, so I told him Tae Kwon Do, Kempo, Jujitsu, Lai Tong Pai, and currently Taijutsu. He was kinda baffled at what Taijutsu was, so his son asked me if that was ninjutsu. I told him yeah. He said that was great, but I had to study their art cause it had over 10,000 techniques. So the conversation came to a close and they left. The kicker of the story is that he, to start with, he was inside the store looking at home audio receivers when my friend that works at the same store asked him if he needed any help. He then told her all the same stuff about martial arts, but she said she studied fencing but told him to talk to me cause I study martial arts. He then asked her out for his son, which of course she said No, so that's when he came to me. I still have his card somewhere, but never called. Maybe I should, cause a free samurai sword sounds kinda nice (I can add it to my other 7 I own)
Charlie Ninja!!! I can't believe I forgot about Charlie Ninja... This guy was something SPECIAL... Keep in mind that I started bujinkan training during my junior year in high school in '92... So During my senior year after I had been in the Bujinkan for a year or so and had my training group going word got around my high school that I was into ninjutsu... eventually a guy who had already graduated began hanging around the school telling people that I was the leader of the "Red Dragon Ninja Clan" and that he had killed the old leader and incedently had injured his ankle while jumping over a building during the final battle with the old master so he could no longer demonstrate any of his super human abilities... anyway... lucky for me one of my training partners lived in the same neighborhood as Charlie and kept an eye on him... and actually went to "train" with him once to see what was going on... Charlie was a White Ninja who wore a white shozoku and would light a dozen smoke bombs and disappear while standing in the cloud... My training partner told me that his training consisted of walking around dressed in the white shozoku looking for signs that ninja had passed by.... during the time my friend visited Charlie pointed to some random and natural holes in the ground and said "Sai prints... ninja's were here" before he bounded into the tree line grasping the ninja-to bokken strapped to his back... Later that evening Charlie called my friend to see if he was interested in training with him, and my friend said he could here metal pipes clanking in the back ground and Charlie told him that he was fighting off rival ninjas during the call... Removed from the humorous, Charlie did recruit a few followers who were convinced that I was the evil leader of the Red Dragon Ninja Clan and planned to shoot me in the back with a shotgun and dismember my body with machete's... Sometimes its the ones the weirdo's attract that you have to watch out for... take care, steve
Mike the ninja...our name for him as he used multiple aliases. Like a previous example biked all over town. Sometime in the mid-nineties he showed up at a jkd school I was cross-training with claiming togakure ryu. The instructor got fed up with him after showing up several times and physically escorted him out of the class. Few years later he shows up at the aikijujutsu school where I was studying wanting to train--apparently not the first time he had visited. Claims a korean ninja background(sulsa do, I think he called it). A couple of the more...spirited guys in the school gave him a ride home and convinced him not to return. Everyone thought that was the end of it until an arrow with badly painted red kanji was shot into the side of the dojo-guess he kuji kiri cursed us or put a ninja death mark on us or something... There are a few more stories about good 'ol Mike, but you get the picture Last I heard he was frequenting coffee shops claiming to be a russian-trained world chess champion
Man, you guys seem to have the market cornered on MA weirdos. Best I have is some 16-17yr old that was convinced he'd eventually be able to make Johnny Cage's Split-punch-em-in-the-testes thing work. There was one guy at my high school that claimed to study kung-fu (looked like he just studied kung-fu movies) and wanted to test my "pathetic skills". After much cajoling I agreed. He went into some ballet stance with his leg out, I grabbed it and ran the other way with it and then he cried out "you can't do that" while trying to hop backwards. Fast.
Only weirdo i've ever seen was in my old Uechi Ryu class. He arrived dressed in a ragged black gi, and i can't remember if it was even a gi (it was some time ago, it could have been PJ's) anyway, i'm fairly sure he had a black belt on. As with many of these wierdo's he spent the whole lesson showing how brilliant his "art" was though never saying what it was. By the end of the lesson he challenges the Teacher to a fight, naturally the Teacher denies him (fearing for his mental stability). As the Teacher went to correct my footwork I still remember the weirdo running at him, and i swear tried to do a flying kick. The next movements are blurred, but i remember a senior student shouted, the Teacher straight kicked him out the air and the guy (quite badly winded at least) was dragged to the step and asked to leave. Was amusing, though by the sounds of it nothing compared to the american nutters
Some of these stories are really funny it's ashame i've not seen any weirdos in my 2 years of training, then again we do have immolation lol.
Not as good as some of the previous posts, but here it goes: 1) The white belt who for some reason wanted to do the class with his backpack on in order to see how the center of gravity change affected things. (Instructor's attitude was, "knock yourself out.") During a technique a pouch came open and out popped a small package of flavored lube. 2) Guy who came in wanting to learn the "mental" side of the art. "No problem. You start with Kihon Happo. . ." never did see him again. 3) Another guy who related everything to Isreali military strategy, Russian prostitutes, or the big name university he'd graduated from. "Hicho? Well that's like. . ." :bang: 4) Through the dojo website -- a few years ago I got an e-mail from someone looking for a bodyguard for a performer. I passed it on to a buddy who does that sort of thing. It turned out to be for a Filipino Elvis impersonator who was concerned about possibly being mobbed by fans. . . in Vegas. I still hear about that one every so often.
Don't know, but somehow I'd have felt better if it had been a pistol. At least I've trained for that. . . :woo:
Danny V! A buddy of mine growing up used to hang out with this guy Dan. Dan was a ninja(age 14) who's skills were drawn from the weapon x style treatment he received from birth from a nefarious mad scientist whom he refused to name "for our own safety" He claimed to have a suit of ninja body armor with chrome fittings ala Sho Kosugi, that he kept in a hidden compartment of a dumpster at the local gas station. One day he showed up at my house and looked particularly shaken, I asked him what was wrong and he told me that on his way over he was attacked by a genetically engineered clone of himself.(of which he claimed there was an entire army ) That was probably the last time I allowed Dan within 30 ft. of me. Dan was the reason that I enjoyed Napoleon Dynamite so much! He actually had said one time that he had "Amazing Bo-Staff Skills" that was 1995, long before Napoleon Dynamite.
As much fun as this talk of lubed pistols is..... I was wondering if perhaps a similar thread should be started in General Martial Arts discussion. Get more stories of near to insane people who aren't Ninja?
