Your Most Memorable Weirdo?

Discussion in 'Ninjutsu' started by Dale Seago, May 12, 2007.

  1. Dale Seago

    Dale Seago Matthew 7:6

    This is primarily for instructors of any of the various Takamatsuden "kans", but anyone else is free to chime in as well.

    My own so far was a young guy in my dojo a few years ago.

    Kept bringing me various sorts of presents, the "giving an apple to the teacher" kind of thing.

    Then, a few days after I returned from a Tai Kai, he asked what I thought of the wax-&-polish job on my car, which had been parked on the street near my home while I was gone. He seemed disappointed to find that I hadn't even noticed it.

    Then he brought me a bouquet of flowers. Okay, this is starting to get a little weird. . .But hey, it is San Francisco after all. . .I'm pretty tolerant. . .

    Then in an outdoor training session one night, he happens to be paired with my wife. And in the process of working with him she feels something odd and promptly relieves him of a loaded .380 caliber automatic pistol.

    Turns out the lad was for whatever reason convinced I'm homosexual. (Um, scuse me, but had he somehow missed the fact that I was MARRIED?) He was providing me with opportunities to declare myself to him, at which point he was going to kill me.

    There's this psychological phenomenon called "projection", where someone faced with something he doesn't want to recognize in himself instead "projects" it onto someone else and sees THAT person as the one embodying whatever it is. Since I've always been rather rampantly heterosexual, y'all can probably see what was going on: Rather than face his own attraction to me, he was seeing me as attracted to him.

    I hadn't thought about that one for a long time, until tonight when I received a PM from a member here at MAP, calling himself hanakuso (flowershyte? fertilizer?) saying,

    <don't post PM's on the main forum>

    . . .Erm, something about my proclivities as supposedly revealed by the Thread Which Is Not To Be Named.

    Ah yes, it does bring things back. Apparently something I wrote brought up something he couldn't bear seeing in himself, so -- projection again.

    So, any of you have any comparable experiences?

    (EDIT: Sorry Xen, I hadn't realized posting PM contents was a no-no. I'll be good. . .)
    Last edited: May 12, 2007
  2. elftengu

    elftengu Banned Banned

    I think that'll take some beating Dale! :D

    (what we all want to know is, is it the same person who PM'd you?)
  3. Big Will

    Big Will NinpƓ Ikkan

    Him being a weirdo is definitely an understatement :D
  4. Dale Seago

    Dale Seago Matthew 7:6

    I dunno, since I don't know the guy's real name. There were other PMs after that which got progressively more egregious, and I imagine the Mods will have something to say to him about that. I did tell him he had my sympathy for his problem, but that will probably fall on deaf ears where he's concerned: I doubt he genuinely wants help.

    As for my old student previously mentioned, after leaving my dojo he moved to southern California and began training with my old friend Don Angier, Soke of Yanagi ryu aikibugei.

    Got thrown out of that dojo too.
    Last edited: May 12, 2007
  5. benkyoka

    benkyoka one million times

    hanakuso means booger!
  6. adouglasmhor

    adouglasmhor Not an Objectivist

    We had a strange guy turn up wanting to know about shuriken, wall climbing and sneaking about - quickly followed by poisons and blinding powders. Our teacher told him we did not do that but we sent him to the local BBT dojo telling him they did it there.

    A couple of other nutters turned up wanting the same stuff and when he tried the same thing we discovered they had done it back to us. [​IMG]
  7. Hiroji

    Hiroji laugh often, love much

    Either that Dale, or he read your poem and wanted to blow your brains out!!! :p :D
  8. Nick Mandilas

    Nick Mandilas Resistance is an option..

    Last November I guy (late 20s) rolled up to our dojo wearing an old grey and worn ninja gi that seemed to be his from when he was ten years old. It had shrunk so much the pants only reached past his calves and he had been forced to tape the gi pants around his knees with electrical tape.

    He wore tabi that were ripped and threadbare, again with the toes taped with black electrical tape, and his gi top had the sleeves cut off completely. Both his arms were covered with tattoos of ninjas and kanji and he had a goatee shaped like some bad kung fu master from a 70s hong kong action flick.

    He asked to speak to the dojo's "Chunin"
    Craig came over to speak with him. "How you doin?"
    (drops down to one knee and says) "Greetings Chunin!"
    "Um...just call me Craig"
    "Very well, Chunin Craig"
    It was a long night...
  9. kouryuu

    kouryuu Kouryuu

    Should have introduced him to Tim Bathurst :D
  10. 2E0WHN

    2E0WHN Homebrew for idiots


    Awww!!! We all love the loony stories. I guess some will come drifting out about me soon. ;)
  11. flashlock

    flashlock Banned Banned

    My biggest weirdo--well, it was on an MA forum, and the guy had written this crazy poem... and followed it up with a big homo-erotic love assassin post. What a kooky guy! :cool:
  12. AMF321

    AMF321 Valued Member

    This musta been about 8-9 years ago...........

    We were practicing a basic downward cut from daijodan, about 5 of us, in repitition ad nauseum.

    This kid, he was I'd guess 16-17, comes in and the conversation with the instructor (not me) goes something like this:

    Kid - So what kind of sword style are you practicing?
    Instr - (Gives what I call a standard reply about kukishinden ryu)
    Kid - cool, it looks good and all, but I gotta tell ya the sword style I've been doing for the last 25 years beats this to dust.
    (he grabs a bokken without asking off the rack in a reverse grip and starts twirling it in a figure 8 motion.)
    Instr. - Rather patiently asks: what style would that be?
    Kid - Before he can answer he smacks himself right smack dab in his face with the bokken in midtwirl, drops it and walks out admist all of us laughing our collective butts off at him.

    He never showed up again.
  13. Keikai

    Keikai Banned Banned

    I met this guy, he taught me ninjutsu, he used to come round my house, fart, get in the way, annoy my wife and generally smelt like dirty old people.

    Hold on thats my current teacher!!! :eek:

    Only joking Norm, you dont smell.......... :D
  14. Dale Seago

    Dale Seago Matthew 7:6

    This one's my favorite so far. :cool:
  15. elftengu

    elftengu Banned Banned

    I wonder how many of these types there are out there. A remarkably similar chap turned up at my old BBD dojo in Brighton, fully geared up in a tatty old gi with some kind of grey puttees for kyahan and outdoor tabi, and resembling some kind of Harunaka Hoshino initiate. He kept going on about being trained by various local masters none of us had heard of and that his particular mastery was in something called the 'toe' (we found out later he had meant ninja-to). He was also covered in tattoos and spoke like Boycie out of Only Fools and Horses and reeled off a number of anecdotes about problems he'd had with violent punters as a cabbie.

    I thought he was nut and wondered how much trouble we'd have with him, but it soon turned out he'd almost certainly never had any kind of wrist lock applied on him before or any pokes, as he spent the evening mainly squealing and never came back again!
  16. kouryuu

    kouryuu Kouryuu

    MUCH!!!!!!!!! :eek:
  17. New Member

    OMG Tell us what happened next!
  18. Dale Seago

    Dale Seago Matthew 7:6

    I also had a close runner-up. About 15 years ago I got a call from a young woman interested in training. Over the course of 3 or 4 conversations it turned out that this was not her only interest: Actually, she had been a ninja in a past life and wanted to re-learn the art. She also was concerned about the sinister activities of extraterrestrial aliens, and she had located an alien base in northern California and wanted me to see the place.

    Finally I told her about another instructor who was actually located a bit closer to her than I and suggested she get in touch with him, as he was known to have an interest in past lives and other esoteric stuff. It worked and got her out of my hair, but I still don't think Richard Van Donk has quite forgiven me for that. :p

    Over a decade later she suddenly resurfaced: Told me she'd seen my picture on my website* and had fallen in love with me. She began calling at all hours, dozens of times a day, and sending letters to what she thought was the dojo address. I took the phone number off my website, got an unlisted number, and removed the snail-mail address as well.

    To cut an otherwise long story short, I managed to track her down at the "group home" facility she was staying in and wrote to their management, sending copies of her letters to me as well. Under the American HIPAA laws they couldn't even acknowledge that she was a client or patient there, and I knew that would be the case. But amazingly it all stopped.

    The weirdly funny thing about this one is that executive/dignitary protection professionals often protect clients from stalkers. . .they're not supposed to have stalkers of their own! :rolleyes:

    So things are now set up so that I'm very easy to contact/communicate with, but not at all easy to physically find, with the exception of a link to the place where I teach one class per week -- but I don't just teach one class per week. ;) Gives me a chance to screen people initially in an enclosed place filled with my friends, some of whom in addition to training with me are in law enforcement. Never hurts to be careful. . .

    (* The picture on the site was of me and my wife; this woman seemed able to just tune out the fact that she existed.)
    Last edited: May 15, 2007
  19. Lily

    Lily Valued Member

    Real life weirdo - the Batman guy who was in our dojo. I don't really want to talk about it.

    Online weirdo - KempoFist
  20. KempoFist

    KempoFist Attention Whore

    Ya know....I noticed your name in the Ninja forum, and I wasn't going to check....but curiousity got the best of glad I read this. I'll remember this!

Share This Page