Discussion in 'Women's Self Defence' started by KickChick, Sep 14, 2004.
Wow, I just read the first page and feel like a wimp...
NEVER, feel like a whimp, your adrenal systems, your situations, your opponent were all differerent to the people in the stroies on here, your own situation was unique to you.
dont feel ashamed of how you acted, you acted in the way you saw fit at the time, learn from what happened and learn from it in any way you can.
try that martial arts training and build back your confidence.
bear in mind that no matter how many of these stories there are, the vast majority of rape incidents involve the women capitulating due to fear and confusion, these are just a few examples of fighting back, but they are the minority of cases so dont feel any less brave or in any way lesser to the women mentioned here.
Thanks tom, i appreciate that!
I was watching inside edition last night and it made me think about what you said.
They interviewed the college student who was raped and then arrested while her and the cop were in the process of trying to find the rapist.They had arrested her for a warrant from when she was in high school. Anyway she was explaining what happened, and said that she screamed but as soon as he told her to be quiet she said she stopped screaming because she thought he'd kill her if she didn't. I could tell she was really hesitant to say that, and I know the reason why. I Thinks she knew others would judge her for complying.
I think that if woman only believe they'll be raped and not murdered, they will more likely not put up a fight. Rape is terrible but murder is worse. Of course that's giving your rapist the benefit of the doubt. I think if women KNEW that they would be killed afterwards, they would at least try to put up a harder fight.
About three weeks ago I acted as an attacker at a belt testing. I grabbed a blue belt and her escape technique did not immediately work. In a case like that, we teach students to use other techniques--the goal, of course, is to not give up until you are free. Thus, she first kneed me and then kicked me in the groin (I am female). I let go, and I have been bruised and swollen for the last three weeks. I can assure you, the groin attack is pretty effective on both sexes!
I don't know whether this is classed as self defence but it made the guy walk off.
About a few months ago I worked in this small busy town that I always did a two mile walk from as I had a injured leg. I got to the bus stop which has millions of big houses a busy road but rubbish bus service.
I decided that rather then wait for the bus I would walk up to the next bus stop and ring my mum for a lift. Well I walked up and was aware that across the street this person was watching me, I couldn't help but look over. He did look a bit odd, he looked in his mid 30's but dressed like a teenage chav type he had this creep stare and so I just thought carry on. Well he followed me and kept looking at me, I could feel myself wanting to tell him to ''pee off'' but thought no don't go down the aggressive route.
So I stopped at the bus stop and sat down and thought I would ring my mate, the man just stod at the corner with his mobile and stared no emotion not a weird smile just this stare.
So I decided to do what I call heavy metal stare, hard cold eye look that most confident metal bands adopt, after doing this for a few minutes with my eye brows aching he left. I do hope this worked and he wouldn't return with mates in order to 'do me in'.
Luckly my mum turned up and I was ok, but what would have happned had he crossed the road to get near me also with my then dodgy knee what would I have done? Well I hope that I would have ripped his eye lashes out or so on, unless he wanted to know the time then that would have been different but you never know.
That was absolutely self defense. And you did a fantastic job of it.
You noticed something was wrong. By the time the signals filter up to your conscious mind you can be sure that something was wrong
You recognized who the threat was before it became serious and immediate
You came up with a response to the threat
The threat stopped
Nobody got hurt
Nobody went to jail
It doesn't get much better than that.
girls rule...i dunno why anyone would wanna harm them in the first place...kung fu is the answer...and i mean combat ladies!!!
I'll add my homage. :hail:
I only hope I can do as well. What might have happened didn't and you took action to prevent it.
Compliments all round on presenting for women, the reality of aggression.
The following incident was told to me by a journalist friend from Milan in Italy.
Her mother, a woman in her mid-fifties, was returning home in the rain from a supermarket. She was holding a plastic shopping bag in her left hand and her umbrella in her right. As she arrived at her door and closed the umbrella, she was alarmed to see reflected in the glass panes of the door, two young men immediately behind her. She swung abruptly to her left as on of them tried to grab her shoulder, and hit him on the side of the head with the shopping bag. Apart from other groceries, this contained a large glass bottle of mineral water and he collapsed, knocked out.
His friend was so startled, he looked down and while he was distracted, she jabbed him in the throat with the point of her umbrella. He also went down, coughing and spluttering. She put the point of the umbrella in the pit of his throat and leaned on it, pinning him to the floor, then used her Cel. Phone to call the police who promptly arrived and arrested both culprits. I relate this, as my friend's mother has no M.A. experience and had never been assaulted previously.
I was personally involved in this second anecdote. On finishing a workshop I'd given in Vercelli in the north of Italy, my organiser and I drove one of the students to the local railway station. It was around 7.00 in the evening. While waiting for the train and having a coffee, we heard a shout from the bar area. A heavily built man in his fifties was screaming at the waitress and he leaned over the bar and tried to grab her. She pushed him a few feet back and came out from behind the bar; he rushed at her and raised his arm ready to punch her in the face. She simply stood waiting for him and as he took a swing, stepped in and snap punched him in the throat. He collapsed like a sat of potatoes; the police arrived and dragged him away.
I spoke to her later and she told me that this had happened often and that she had used the same 'technique'; it always works, she assured me.
It's good to hear, women with spirit/fight are ussing their skills realisticly and to good usse, cheers!!
I agree with most of what's been said it's really a case to case basis. My Aunt's cousin was raped and killed- and she was not an easy target. She was a really good martial artist, had pepper spray all over her house and in her bag, but the guy was 6'5, and she was 5'2. She knew him too. He waited for her to come home to her condo- and did her there. When they found her body her knuckles were skinned down to the bone because she gave such a fight. Her face was totally smashed in, etc, but the guy got some pretty bad injuries as well- but because he was just too big, well- that was the outcome.
So far I am lucky enough not to have had very bad experiences of the sort. I hope my luck continues and that I will not need to use my training to defend myself in that way. I've only just had minor incidents/encounters so far.
Jeez! Sorry mate, Up-until now, I was heading down a wicked path, Now I have learnt the outcome consequences of a vigilante. I was forming it with volunteers/best mates, But now learning some people that have worked/been in prison, I'am simply horrified and fearful, rather die than go to prison!
What spurred us to try and forge this, my last fight was a drunken drill-fest against 4 guys outside a pub, my mate was attacked at a bus interchange by 2 girls and a guy and also knowing that gangs were attackig a small percentage of the community!
There is a wonderful book called "Her Wits About Her:Self Defence Success Stories by Women" by Denise Caignon (Author) and Gail Grove (Editor). It is full of real life stories of women who have succeeded in defending themselves -not neccessarily martial artists but women who used their wits anfd their instincts. Well worth reading!
Interesting.. I'd like to get a peek of that sometime
Thought I'd share a couple of less dramatic stories because they illustrate a point.
1) My mum, a small women who at the time was in her 40s, was stopped by a big guy who demanded her wallet. This was on a dark night with no-one about. She unleashed such a torrent of verbal abuse at him that he retreated and left her alone to go on her way.
2) When I was a student I was approached in broad daylight but in a quieter part of town by two possibly homeless guys in their 20s, both bigger than me. Their body language was unmistakably intimidating and they started walking along with me,talking to me saying things like "that's a nice jacket - give me your jacket" and "Take us back to your place so we can have a shower". It was weird because at one level they were acting like homeless types just hassling me for stuff, but their body language told a different more worrying story - almost like they were crowding me or herding me.. At first I pointedly ignored them but after a minute or so just turned around yelled at them that they weren't having my ****ing jacket and they could **** off and leave me alone (at this point I was pretty angry so my posture was more aggressive than scared - might've been a different story at night!). To my relief they backed off and headed off elsewhere.
I read later than muggers (and worse) often 'interview' their victim both to get them off guard/off balance and to size them up - in retrospect I think this was what these guys were doing.
It seems some 'lazy' muggers are looking for a victim who is easily intimidated or 'a pushover' and will avoid someone who'll give them a hard time. I guess sometimes these less determined types can be put off merely by standing up to them - My Mum & I were both lucky that we weren't approached by more determined potential assailants. It does underline that the 'verbal deterrant' thing they go on about in S/D is worthwhile though.
The above doesn't really relate to MA experience - I think the way we both reacted was pretty instinctive and it is probably no coincidence that we both reacted in a similar way (being mother and daughter).
Mine basically involved a massive overdose of adrenaline...
A group of boys incited another girl to fight me (I was a young teen at the time....). I didn't want to, as I otherwise got on okay with her, but she ran at me and rammed me into a metal locker, and I went DERANGED. I swear I didn't mean to seriously injure her, but the sheer assload of adrenaline that hit my blood just made me really out of it. I went on autopilot and started kicking and punching her for queen and country. I felt drugged up and kind of robotic.
And of course, I got in trouble, because I was ash white and deranged looking and she was crying, and she was the one with injuries.
Apparently the appropriate response is to stay still and let someone punch your face in.
i think everybody should know at least some basic self defense moves. Self defense can be great way of workout and usefull in stresfull situations...
I put myself into a stupid situation this summer, but thankfully everything turned out okay.
I'd been on a camping trip with a friend who has a mild anxiety disorder, and she couldn't sleep all night because of the raccoons trying to eat our food. Then the next day I went off to Toronto to stay over at a friend's house in preparation for going to a convention. So, I slept in a bed that was comfortable enough, but not mine. Then, the next day we were at the convention, and I went to bed late. So. Very. Overtired. Two hours later (at 3am) I was woken up by shouting in the hallway. I didn't know what it was, but I assumed it was a group of geeky con attendees being rowdy. I went out into the hallway (in my Chinese-style silk pyjamas) to tell them to shut up. There were some people standing in their doorways, looking confused. I asked them what was going on, and they pointed up the stairs. So, I went upstairs to tell them to keep the noise down.
What I encountered was NOT what I was expecting.
There was a big, beefy guy on the ground, and an even bigger, beefier guy standing over him. A thin, pretty girl was on the side, crying her eyes out. She runs over to me, and begs me to get them out of there. Her boyfriend stands up, and comes over to us. The biggest guy had a look in his eyes that I can't even describe. He must have been on drugs. Anyways, I'm standing there, wondering what to do, and I get this glacial calm feeling. All of my emotions shut down completely, and I told them to follow me. We went downstairs, and the smaller beefy guy was having trouble with it. It looked like his hips didn't function right. His girlfriend was in hysterics. I kept looking over my shoulder to make sure the crazy guy wasn't coming. All I could think was that he was taller than me, higher up the stairs, and looked about ready to commit murder. My best defense was probably to punch him in the balls if he got too close.
We got down to the bottom and he started to come down after us. There was a guy standing in the open door of a room at the bottom of the stairs. I shoved them at him and told him to let them in. He shut the door, and I ran to my room and slammed the door. Then called security.
I think they believed me, because they sent four huge guys. Three from the hotel, and one from the con who looked like he ate nails for breakfast.
I escaped probably because he'd never seen a girl who wasn't scared of him before.
I was scared, but some sort of defense reflex kicked in, and I didn't feel *anything* until I was safe. Then it hit me. I spent the next hour lying in bed, shaking, and trying to fall asleep. I don't think I've ever come closer to serious harm in my life.
Holy crap. Sorry you went through that. Could have ended very very badly.
*Very* badly. I told my Sensei about it after the fact, and he got downright worried for me.
The biggest guy was seriously twice my size, and I'm not small.
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