Discussion in 'Women's Self Defence' started by KickChick, Sep 14, 2004.
Good job Keysi... don't take no crap from nobody.
I have stated I will not be posting on MAP any more...But I have seen this thread and have a few stories to share. Also this will perhaps clarify, why I have acted the way I am regarding an earlier thread and it's affects. Any advice would be appreciated too.
Story 1: I was stalked for 2 years when I was 15 to 17. Someone began by phoning my house a couple of times here and there and progressed to 4 times a day. He could even tell my mum and me apart on the phone, which many of her own sister's cannot do, so when she answered he hung up.
Sometimes he was polite and other times quite nasty and on other occasions extremely perverse. At first it was worrying and my parents called the police to no avail. They did not want to know and said probably some kids prank. Great help.
Then it became so frequent that the whole family got used to it.
He implied he was alot older than myself but did not seem to know me personally.
Then came the day, my mum answered and he asked for me by name, my mum panicked, called the Police and advised this had been going on for 6 months...again, they done nothing.
Then he started telling me, where I had been, what I was wearing, what he thought of me etc, etc. The Police still would not do anything.
My parents hardly let me out after dark....fully understandable now but at the time I was so angry.
It got to the point that I felt unsafe, even on a crowded bus. This person was apparently following me everywhere. He always had details correct so I had no doubt he was. But what do you do, when you start suspecting everyone that looks at you in a public place.
And in my opinion, anyone who is willing to go to these great lengths is capable of rape.
I ended up walking round ready to kick ass at any moment. But it went on for so long that I even started to laugh about it and sometimes forget about it.....worrying eh. That could have been his opportunity. Wait for me to let my guard down. I soon realised I was doing this.
I ended up having to get my head around it and have a middle ground, where I got on with things as best I could, but was also on guard and ready for anything. And basically did not go out after dark. As the police still happily, did nothing.
But low and behold, a little innocent girl with an influential dad got 2 phonecalls from the same guy, they called the police and they traced the 3rd call and caught him. Lucky for me they came round my house to tell me they done their job for someone else and they suspect it was the same guy. It turned out to be a complete dweeb that I did know. The quiet one, no-one spoke to. He got a years sychiatric help. Less time that what I suffered for, but hey, I have become a better person for it.
This was what led me to start martial arts when I left home to live on my own at 18.
Story 2: I was in Albacete, Spain, I had gone shopping with some others and decided to go back to the Hotel earlier as we had to pack to go elsewhere and everyone else was taking their time round the shop and I had loads to do....but soon found I was lost. I had taken a wrong turn. I was in a rush so I tried to ask some people if they knew where my hotel was, but rural spain, hardly any english speakers, no chance. But one kind person, showed me where the Police station was.
So I went up to a policeman outside by his car who said he could not speak english and took me inside the station. As we walked in another slammed the door, another behind a desk started to shout at me and bang the table, another 3 appeared from a back room and started to surround me. The Policeman who took me in was arguing with them and then the one behind the desk started to undo his belt, still ranting and raving in Spanish. I was petrified and kept trying to back up to the door. But the Policman there kept pushing me back into the middle of the room. At this point I thought **** they all have guns, I doubt they will start shooting the place up, but what should I do. Just him shouting at me so aggresivly was scary enough.
Suddenly the one that had taken me in, grabbed the guy at the door, and shouted to me, I am sorry, RUN.
I pulled that door and legged it. Not a second thought, my heart was pounding and I just wanted to sit down as my legs were wobbly....but I ran.
I still to this day, don't know what to think of it. Was it some kind of sick joke they played as they did not speak English. Or was I really lucky that other cop helped me out.
I tell you what, I did not think for one second think that i would recreate some kind of martial arts movie scene. I could see that was never going to happen. I was well out numbered, overpowered and to top it off, did not know where I was.
Story 3: I was in a bar and I was carrying my drink back to my table. This bloke grabbed me and said I was coming with him and started to drag me to the door. He spilt my drink I had been queing for, for 30 minutes. So I (checked) palm striked him straight in the solar applexis (SP) and lifted him off the floor and he actually went flying over the bar. I was proud of that moment as the bloke did not know what had hit him. And when he stood up, he realised I was with about 10 big well trained martial artists. As they stood round him....he legged it.
Story 4: In another bar, 7 months pregnant I was, queing for the toilet. This bloke came out of the mens and started trying to cuddle me and kiss me. It was disgusting. I was trying to tell him to get off and the other women in the queue took no notice. I said I am pregnant, you are hurting me. But he was pinning me against the wall. I did not want to hit him, as I thought, he only has to hit me once and I could loose my baby. I tried to use humour by saying, do you want to be the father of my child or something, but this did not work either. In the end i just shouted at the top of my voice get the **** off me, I am pregnant, you touch me, you die, I don't know who you are....then another bloke came running to the rescue. I could not believe all the other women were taking no notice. Another incident where martial arts was not an option as risks were too high.
Story 5: Recently again in my life, I have been stalked. This time by texting and phone calls (although he never speaks). This one was able to state that he saw me with my children in town and what day it was on. Which told me, he knew me, but I did not know who he was. Again the Police were not prepared to do anything, So I managed to get enough details out of the person to find out a location and an address.....possibly not his, but none the less I told the police I was going round and I was not prepared to go though this again in my life for 2 years. They promptly sent an oficer round to tell us not to do anything and they took on the case. They have now arrested 2 people, but I still do not know if he is watching me in town. I very rarely take my kids with me now, as this time I want to use my martial arts training as I am ready for him. I now have to be careful coming home as he could follow me, as currently we do not think he knows where I live. The Police think he was just pushed over the edge by a recent break up with his girlfriend, but they will not tell me who he is as I do not know him and until i say his name, they cannot confirm it. So I have to walk around not knowing. The Police are once again astounding me.
I am sorry, as I said before next step rape....it is a power trip. When it stops working they take the next step.
But what really ticks me off now....is a fellow mapper decided to take it upon themselves to start texting insults. Which is why I have said, I will no longer get involved in discussions relating to MA as freedom of speach is obviously not an option in this world anymore and my family are already as far as I am concerned in enough danger.
I would seem to be a born target. Too nice to people I think.
I am glad now I have my Martial Arts training, as I have to sit and wait, and do not know if someone is watching me or not. I am confident in my abilities and know it is what keeps me sane at the moment and able to still walk out of my door. The only worry I have....is what do i do if my kids are with me?
I know this is a bit long and I am sure I have loads of over perhaps funny stories, but these are the ones that I was actually scared and had to think about actions and consequences and will never forget them and how lucky I have been, and that nothing did come of the previous events, but I was still victimised to some extent.
Lots of love :love:
I realise my last one was not exactly successful as such yet, and I have not come face to face with the person, but self defence is the only and most worrying thing on my mind at the moment. And I do believe my actions of agression are the only thing that led the police to even help. Which is a form of self defense.
As I am the only one that can decide how to deal with the situation and where even it might lead.
Lots of love :love:
I read your stories, wow very similar to my own experiences.....sounds like you may have ptsd or panic disorder (heightens the startle reflex) I have it... if you would like to pm me we can talk you may read my website... it is about domestic violence but covers stalking etc..(I understand the walking around in a state of constant *on gaurd* it is not a fun place to be)...
(I was also stalked in High School, similar to yours except he eventually came to my house with a knife...... no harm done)
As far as a MAPPER sending you ugly messages. THAT is NOT acceptable and I suggest you send copies oft hose to Kick Chick, Yoda, Kinjiro. They WILL put a stop to it.
This is a wonderful place to meet people, get opinions, share......etc..... do NOT let some creep run you away!
I wanted to add, that when I stopped (well most of the time) "looking over my shoulder" and waiting for someone to attack me so I could defend myself, I ACTUALLY began to be able to enjoy some of the things life has to offer..
Trust me, when and IF a situation occurs again your MA will come out appropriately....no need to walk around in a state of worry and dread.
(in about 1997, I was on a bus and a guy pulled a gun, (he and I were sitting directly behind the driver)
none of the men did a thing, it was like the movie Kung Fu..... I heard my Sifu's voice in my head, stood up pak sao'd his gun arm he dropped the gun and I kicked it down the ailse toward the men ....The bus driver ( a lil bitty girl, parked the bus and ran down the street to call police) he stooped down to pick up his back pack and I stomped on it..
I was terribly frighten at this point but had my "Wu sau" hand up and stomped on his back pack as he knelt down to pick it up. (God knows what was in there!).....
he looked up at me and I just heard my Sifu's voice clear as day:
"If your EVER in a real life situation, and YOU have control..... look the guy in the and say its YOUR move buddy" maintain control.... keep eye contact....."
I looked him in the eye (still in wu sau) and said "It's YOUR move buddy"......
Just then a lady in a business suit projectile vomited on his head! he shuddered and hurried off the bus taking his shirt off.....
I looked at her without thinking and said a very sincere thannnnnk YOU!, she proceeded to vomit more....... I began shaking and crying and working myself into hysteria.......
I laugh now, about it I call her move "Puke Fu"
Well, I didn't need to sit on the bus waiting and looking for an incident.... it came right to me..... and you know what there may be another one today or tomorrow, or next week.... BUT,
I REFUSE to worry about it..... I am going to enjoy my day!
Cheers Kungfugrrrl you are a star and it is great that you can focus on the funny part of your ordeal, I like to find the funny side of things too. I am so glad we don't have to contend with guns here in England. If people cannot even be trusted with a mobile phone, what would they do with a gun eh??
I am really proud of your reactions and am confident that I would react similar in similar circumstances. I used to work on the doors of nightclubs for 5 years and often found I was the one that kept my head in stressful situations and just felt it my duty to protect anyone that needed my help. One night 5 of the other doormen (men) were in an array of panic because they suspected someone had a knife. 3 of them were soon no-where to be seen and the other 2 stood about 10 metres away panicing. I took control of the situation....gave them some basic rules/instructions and said, don't worry, I will deal with it. I knew in my head exactly what I was going to do and what I was looking out for...luckily nothing came of it and the doormen were astounded at their own behaviour and really impressed with mine. I am not even sure where it came from, I was just confident in my abilities.
I was often helping the men out of sticky situations without hesitation.
Don't worry I am not walking round in a complete state of panic just some minute amounts of anger. Problem is, since I have had kids, I think about consequences of actions all the time....it feels like such a weakness. And their safety is at the top of my list. It was alright when I only had me to worry about, I rarely worried about anything.
But don't get me wrong, I love life, I enjoy it to the full and I think I have a great future too. It just pee's me off that people think that their behaviour is acceptable and that it is o.k to target an individual and victimise them.
Can you believe, one police officer (man) said to me on the phone that it serves me right for having a business on the internet, accept the consequences and throw away your mobile phone and avoid the internet.
I was like, hang on a minute. Why should I change my life because someone else takes it upon themselves to commit a crime. You may as well say you deserve to get raped if you wear a low cut top. In this day and age I was disgusted by this comment, by someone who is supposed to uphold the law.
I am not the one in the wrong here!
Hey, they don't mind slapping a parking ticket or something on your car with a hefty fine for being one inch on a double yellow line or 1 second late, returning to your car....as this is illegal... but become a victim of someone elses amusement and they won't get off their lazy butts until you shout. I could not imagine being a very scared, withdrawn victim of a crime. You would have more or less no option but to live with it.
I would say, even though my current circumstances are quite mild as I have not actually been attacked. The hardest thing of all, is getting people to take notice and deal with the issues.
I don't know if I am waiting for it to happen, but I am not dismissing the idea that this person might have an axe to grind and try to proove a point by approaching me. Not knowing his identity, but him knowing mine is a real disadvantage for me. With these unfavourable odds, I do think it is only sensible not to take my kids to somewhere I know he goes (where he saw me on one occasion that he mentioned) But unforunately this is where I have to go on a regular basis to do business transactions. There is no getting away from it. So I am just using my head.
Oh by the way, I had a look at your website. It is very informative. I put my self in the shoes of a DV victim and felt there was a good amount of advice and I like the emergency checklist, because although alot of it seems like common sense, that goes when you are in an array of panic.
If you look at a simple event of going on holiday or something. How often do you forget something in the rush of packing and getting out of the door.
I write lists to do this, so the sensible thing for a victim is to have a list and pre-prepare an escape and have your essentials/valuables to hand, phone numbers etc....
I thought it was excellent.
Anyway....looks like another long one by me....I need to work on shortening my thoughts and explanations I think.
Lots of love :love:
thanks for reading my site. We are working on getting a webmaster so we can get it up and running.... with chatrooms etc......bring more attention. we started a martial art thread but so far it hasnt taaken off yet and a musicians thread of course I havnt pushed it til the near future because I will need someone to handle it.
right now, Im teaching TCC at local YMCA, and for FOCUS with the survivors of DV, and running the non proifit, planning the Dec 4th event ,and the Vagina Monologues for April.....studying TCC with my Master, and studying Shaolin KF, as well as going for my degree in Kinesiology (to help with my teaching credentials), Then my OMD has been teaching me acupressure (My Master put a stop to that right now, she and he talked and she would like me to FOCUS on hehe FOCUS and the other things, and they agreed AFTER I get a bit further in school, then I will resume lesson with the Doc), He wants to sponsor me to go to acupunture school, he sais by the time Im done with my school, and with what he has taught me, I should breeze through the OMD school..... well..... we shall see, at least I have some nice things to look forward too.
I understand about the kid thing my son is 23 and I STILL feel responsible how is that for laughs...... just this week I told him "well I can help you with that...." and he said "No, I dont want YOU to have to deal with my problems" I ALMOST fell off my seat!
But that is very good.
(I had him at a young age...Im 42)
Anyway, see you are not the ONLY one who talks/writes a lot! lol
Who did that? I think if the messages are of a disgusting nature, the administrators should publish the senders personal details on MAP
grrrreat idea hehe....and a pic with a BIG old target painted on his nose!
It's the rare Sea Cucumber Kung Fu!
These were text messages allegedly made to Lucy's cell phone not PM's
However, if this person turns out to be a MAP Member, or a relation to a MAP member .... we will BAN them from this community.... I can assure you that
Shirley Klotz was shampooing a client's hair when a masked man burst into her 15th Street Salon in Allentown last week, barking orders and pointing a gun at her. Read the story to see how she was able to use her martial arts training.
Hairdresser played hero, not victim
Teenage girl turns tables on attackers
By The Canadian Press
Two guys picked the wrong 15-year-old girl to try to rob Monday night.
The teenager was walking on a Dartmouth street when the men tried to yank her knapsack off her back -- and police said that's when it all went wrong for the suspects.
The girl is skilled in martial arts. Police said she knocked one of her attackers to the ground with a hard punch to the face, and then kicked the other in the groin and punched him.
Police said the men fled.
The girl told police she may have dislocated the second man's shoulder or elbow.
The suspects are described as between 17 and 18 years old.
Women Tackle, Pin Carjacking Suspect
Two women in Orange County, Fla., fought off a suspected carjacker by tackling and then pinning the man to the ground on his stomach until deputies arrived, according to a Local 6 News report.
Investigators said Shannon Corley drove her car into the River Oaks Bend apartments located at 2284 River Park Circle in Orlando Tuesday night and noticed a young man watching her in the parking lot.
As Corley exited her car, the man, who police identified in a report as Morgan Piggee, 21, allegedly ran at her and attempted to grab her car keys.
Veneil Kleiber, who did not know Corley, heard her screams for help and rushed over to help.
Both women then attacked and knocked Piggee to the ground, police said.
"She (then) fights back and screams," Local 6 reporter Erik von Ancken said. "Another woman comes over and they both tackle this guy, we are talking arm locks, and get this guy down on the ground."
Corley and Kleiber held the man on the ground until a sheriff's deputy could arrive, according to the report.
Orange County Sheriff's Cpl. Dallas Christopher said the women's actions were impressive.
"They had one arm behind him and he was on his belly and they were on his back and he wasn't able to get away from them," Christopher said. "I think they were proud on one hand and they were nervous and the adrenaline was hitting them afterwards. Their biggest concern was getting hurt. They did a great job."
Piggee was transported to Orange County Jail where he faces carjacking, battery and criminal mischief charges.
woman fights off carjacker
I love this lady's determination. She disarms a guy with a gun! Kicks him in the juevos! Kicks him in the head! Who knows what training, if any, she has had but she sure made it clear she was not going anywhere with this guy. Even taking a full body slam she did not quit. THIS FOLKS IS A FIGHT! Not a sparring match and she won! This lady is an inspiration to ALL women and would-be victims. :Angel:
another link to a fiesty and capable girl ..
"Her would-be attacker has not yet been found. He's described as a white man in his 30's, with bleached blonde hair, and blue eyes"
addendum. Black and blue about the head and face!
Cause: One bad-ass little girl with painted nails! WAY TO GO!
Here's another story for you.
Granny Chokes Intruder
A very intimate a dearly friend of mine called Gabriela (not girlfriend) told me in confidence once of a very bad expirience. I'm sharing it here only because from this message you could never guess her identity. She is quite petit and thin and she doesn't have any MA background. She was 15 at the time and was staying at her aunt's house on holidays. She had 2 cousins. One day she is getting out of the shower wrapped in a towel and finds her older cousing (17 at the time) nude in her room (guest room) waiting for her. They were alone at the time. As soon as she sees him she asks him to leave, she was of course very scared, but he came towards her and pulled the towel off, leaving her naked.
He was telling her that it was ok, that he knew she liked him. He was much bigger and was pushing her towards her bed. She realized he wasn't going to stop so she dropped to the ground. They were struggling, her on the groung and her cousing trying to pull her up and to the bad. Desperate she kick up between his legs. Apparently she got him good on the testicles, because he let her go and bent over. She then ran to the bathroom and lock herself up. She waited until her aunt came back.
I'm a man, and I've never been in such a situation but what i could never understand is why she didn't mention anything to her family. She never did. I don't judge her, she dealt with it pretty well, but it would be better if she would have told the truth. It makes me sick to think that the b*st*rd could be doing that to others now, maybe even his family.
The conclusion I draw from it is that you have try to fight back, even if you are scared or embarrased. If she had not done something, he could have raped her, and it would had been so much worse. She is a small, hugely bold and outspoken woman, the kind you picture stading up to any abuse, verbal or physical, but for a more conventional woman (or man) some self-defense training may make the difference between doing something or not if attacked.
Well, sorry for another groinkick story, because you seem to be getting too many of those, but it's just how she told me it happend.
I'm sure low blows are not the only option.
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