Women's True Life Successful Self Defense Stories

Discussion in 'Women's Self Defence' started by KickChick, Sep 14, 2004.

  1. KickChick

    KickChick Valued Member

    Perhaps these true life accounts that we post here will show women how important it is to be more aware of situations portrayed and to show the importance of having a plan of action to survive such attacks.

    It has to be every person's worst nightmare to wake up from a deep sleep to find a stranger standing over you.

    Here is a true news account of one woman only acting upon her instinct to survive... and did so successfully.

    Awakened By Attacker
  2. KickChick

    KickChick Valued Member

    I was hoping that some true accounts would emerge from some of our female members here on MAP ... and I am giving our female members the option of sending their stories to me by email so that they can remain annonymous if they choose to.

    A female MAP member has detailed her personal self defense experience and emailed me with her story.

    "When I was about 16 (8 years of training under my belt) I found myself in a foreign country. I went to a party with some of my friends at some youth club place, and I decided to leave early. I didnt have any money for a cab, and the only way I knew how to get home was via a path through a slightly wooded area. I felt pretty safe because the path was meant for people and bikers, and it was only in the woods for like an 8th of a mile.

    Right about mid-way someone grabbed me from behind, in a bearhug like grab. As I was being pulled into the woods I started screaming and tried frantically to wiggle free. As much training as I had, there really wasnt much I could do when being lifted off the ground. He put me down and shoved me against a tree, I stomped on his foot and tried to heatbutt back into his face.

    Then he leaned up against me with his body to hold me against the tree, he grabbed my hair and pulled my head back, and thats when I felt the knife against my throat. He told me to shut up and I stopped yelling....

    So many scenarios played out in my head about all the different things I could do to try to get away, try to disarm him. I was able to stay somewhat calm, and unfortunately, that is the only way that my martial arts training helped me. I was able to run through all the possible situations and realize that the only way for me to have a good chance of surviving, would be to stop fighting.

    And I did.... And I'm alive.

    I'm pretty sure that if I fought him he would have killed me..... or at least, tried.... For years I kept thinking that if only I had reacted before he lifted me off the ground.... maybe I could have gotten away.... but rather than second guess myself, and my training, I've come to the conclusion that I did the right thing, and that maybe without my training I would have completely panicked, and very likely gotten myself killed.

    So theres my story. I think im a survivor because I knew not to fight. And thats how my training helped me."

    Now this story seems to substantiate what many womens' self defense training courses call the "myth" --"Don't Fight Back.... I'll Just Be Worse"
    although research about self-defense and assault shows very clearly and conclusively that determined resistance works.... the more ways you fight (the look in your eyes, voice, body language, hands, knees, teeth, etc.) and the more intensely you fight back, the less your chance of coming to harm.

    But as you can see ..... EVERY situation is different, especially when a woman martial artist is confronted with a weapon, whether is be a knife or gun.

    Nobody can ever tell you to fight or not to fight. This decision is a personal choice, and you should remember that the goal is to survive. Whether you offer passive or active resistance you should know that there are no silver-bullets or 100% effective techniques when it comes to personal safety or rape prevention.

    I would like to point out that the female should not have taken that wooded path (Mistake #1) Let's learn from that girls!

    And remember to always have cab fare for the safe ride home!

    Thank you to our annon poster :)
  3. Dojo

    Dojo Shotokan fanatic

    Both stories are interesting and unfortunatelly both scenarios are possible and they even happen. The woman in the first story was lucky to be alive and her determination helped her get out of that situation. The risk she took was enormous, but sometimes the adrenaline rush does wonders. I feel sorry for the second one who could be considerred a "failure" by some shallow people. She did the best thing in that given situation. Life is important and she stayed alive. She is a winner too.
    The problem in these kinds of situation is indeed a very sensitive one. You've got to chose: the risk of losing your life by trying to resist or the life "after" the incident. And we all have different reasons. Some think it's better to lose their life than go through that ordeal, some have a good reason to remain alive (maybe children to take care of ..) and they chose not to resist. Both scenarios are unpleasant and leave scars. A succesful escape or a terrible experience as that desribed in the email would leave scars and unanswered questions. It all happens too quickly and we are not being given supernatural powers just by training. In those situations it's always this or that. Whatever the answer, just remember it was the BEST you could think of in a limit siatuation and try not to blame yourself for the choice you've made under great stress. It's in the past and nothing can be done now, except to try to regain balance and even happiness. It's very hard, but no matter what you chose, you are a winner :)
  4. Kwajman

    Kwajman Penguin in paradise....

    Two nights ago in Milwaukee 5 guys in a local university jumped out of some bushes on a walking path at night and grabbed a young lady, trying to rip her clothes off. She apparently was quite the tiger, all nails, teeth, kicks and punches. The guys ran off, the next day 4 of them turned themselves in to the police saying it was just a college prank gone wrong. Apparently they were quite bruised and scratched up themselves. The police are looking for the 5th one. I'd like to shake her hand!
  5. SecurityAdvisor

    SecurityAdvisor Valued Member

    Back in college, a female friend of mine was leaving a concert when a man jumped out from behind a nearby truck and started moving quickly toward her. As he got within range, she fired a side kick into his ribs. The guy then ran off, presumably to find another victim.

    My friend, a yellow belt in TKD, was about 5'02 and weighed maybe 110 pounds. If it were a more determined attacker the results may have been different, but fortunately for her things worked out for the best.

    I guess the moral of the story is twofold:

    1. Avoidance is the best defense-Had she been with a group this may not have happened. Then again, we can't always be with people.

    2. We do the best we can with what weapons we have available. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. The best we can do is train hard and develop our avoidance capabilities.

  6. E-Rocker

    E-Rocker Valued Member

    I'm not a woman, but this happened to my cousin, who is:

    She was out dancing at a club, and a man came up from behind her and tried to grab her breast. She put an arm-bar on him, which dropped him to his knees, and she asked something along the lines of "what the hell are you doing?" to which he offered the lame reply, "I thought you were someone else." I'm not sure what happened after that; I imagine the bouncers escorted the man out of the club.

    Interesting note: another woman who my cousin became friends with years later had seen the incident and it had inspired her to take up SD training.

    BTW, my cousin's dad is a Judo & Jujitsu instructor.
  7. masteryoursoul

    masteryoursoul New Member

    This didn't happen to me, happened to my friends sister, whom I happen to be very close friends with. She was at a resturant in Scottland. The night went fine until she passed by the bar located towards the front of the resturant. A couple of men called out rude catcalls to which she simply ignored. As the calls persisted she quickened her pace and left, feeling that staying would be the less wise of her choices.

    The man grew angry with her not respnding, and they were obviously heavily drunk. They followed her out onto the street, by this time it was a little passed midnight. She noticed them come out after her and quickly turned away to a side street, trying to look calm, and then ran all out when she rounded the corner. They managed to catch her, one of them grabbing her in a bear hug from behind. She has had no MA training whatsoever, save brief Karate experience with her stepfather.

    The first thing that she did was stomp on his foot and slam him in the groin with her fist, doing so released his grip and she then continued to break his nose with her elbow. The second guy came after her, or rather was in the middle of doing so when she broke free.

    The following punch knocked 3 of the guys teeth out and split her knuckle to the point where she needed 6 stitches to repair the wound.

    I guess the morale of this story is, ladies, from what I've seen on SD experience and what my Kenpo teacher emphasizes is if you plan on defending yourself you have to act quickly. When someone makes a move to attack you, in a threatening manner you should never let them finish what they start. Basically use a preemptive strike, and move quickly, never let them complete their hold. After you have done this you commit, you cannot throw a punch and stop. You have to keep fighting until the attacker leaves of his own accord.

    If you cannot act quickly and act pre emptively you should weigh your situation heavily. It is often times better to cooperate until the opportune moment presents itself. In many cases this is less likely to get you permanently harmed. If you have a chance to run and choose to do so, act quickly. If you wish to struggle this far into the confrontation you must do so SOLEY to get him off of you and get to a point where you can run. At this point in the conflict its highly likely hes got some advantage over you.

    If you beleieve this reasoning to be flawed please say so.

  8. KungFuGrrrl

    KungFuGrrrl Valued Member

    TCC saves woman from attack

    I just saw this thread after Imade another post on this!
    But here goes:

    Just to remind everyone, I teach TCC to survivors of domestic violence..............I have a non profit.

    Just sending good news.

    Two reports actually.

    1st: A group therapist for the battered women called me to say she ran into a former student at the mall. The girl told her 2 weeks ago she was in Glendale and was attacked by a man who grabbed her from behind, and she thought of my TCC class and elbowed him in the face and escaped. This is wonderful also because she had been raped in the past so it is very enpowering to her.

    2nd Yesterday I was teaching at the Womens Center and a Staff member pulled me aside to tell me another lady reported that her car was hit and when she got out to trade info, the man put his hand over her mouth and tried to pull her into his car.

    This lady stomped his foot and then kicked him in the groin and escaped. She said her ability to remain calm saved her life. They wanted me to know.

    WOW Im amazed, I knew it was good -- but to hear reports of this nature is very overwhleming./
    I just had to share and thank you for your support.

  9. E-Rocker

    E-Rocker Valued Member

    What does "TCC" stand for?
  10. budogirl

    budogirl Armed and fabulous!

    TCC = Tai Chi Chuan
  11. lucas2411

    lucas2411 New Member

    Almost all of those encounters incorporated strikes to the groin. Would I be right in assuming there is a pattern emerging here in these 'Women's self-defence' classes? :D
    Also congratulations to those women, If they had not acted quickly and aggressively they may have never been able to tell their stories.
  12. tellner

    tellner Valued Member

    Here are stories from a few students of ours and one old girlfriend of mine:

    1) C's husband was a Saudi. One day, one of his friends, M., came by while he was out. C. was cooking in her bathrobe. M. was Fresh off the Boat from a very conservative Saudi/Pakistani family and thought this and the fact that she was American meant she was willing to have sex with him. Saying "No" and pushing his hands away didn't get the message across. Picking up the biggest knife in the kitchen and telling him she'd cut off his tallywhacker finally got through. M. was later arrested and deported for attempted rape of another friend's wife.

    2) J. was walking through the college town she lives in. She noticed a shadow that kept turning up near her. It turned out to be the shadow of a man who was following her on a bicycle. She turned several corners. He kept pacing her. She went into a store. He stayed outside. She grabbed one of the clerks, came to the door and pointed at him. The guy went away.

    3) On the last day of a WSD class our mentor stopped by and asked if she could watch the padded attacker scenario. She had mostly used the fright suit as a mobile heavy bag and wanted to know what we were doing with it. M, the last student was a very sweet young woman, second generation Chinese-American. When we did verbal deterrence drills the worst thing she could think to say was "Poophead". But she had also been a figure skater and gymnast as a child and had the most ungodly pain tolerance I have ever seen.

    The moment she got up I knew something was wrong. She was moving a little too smoothly, smiling a little too much, and there was something just wrong about the eyes. She came at me like she'd been shot out of a rifle, hit me a bunch of times, took me down and was holding me down by the throat and alternately smashing my head off the floor and punching me in the faceplate yelling "I trusted you, you <practitioner of taboo incestuous relations>! I trusted you!" Thank Cthulhu she stopped when she heard the whistle.

    After class we asked if there was something she wanted to talk about. She said that that Friday (it was Tuesday) she had been at a fraternity party and had gone upstairs to watch TV. A friend (football player) came into the room, locked the door and turned up the TV volume. She wasn't completely sure what he tried to do or exactly what she did, but she had finger marks on one side of her neck and some bruising on her arms and face, but mostly on her knuckles and elbows. She said she remembers hitting him a lot and swearig at him for a long time until he finally gave up. The TOS here will not permit me to repeat what she remembers saying. She was able to get away with bones and virginity intact.

    One part of the exchange, and it's very significant, is that he said "I thought you were a nice girl, and now you've turned into such a bitch." He'd obviously been planning the crime for a while and had targeted her on the basis of her qualities as a victim - friendly, nice and smiled a lot. I'd be willing to bet that he also thought "Chinese woman" meant "submissive".

    4) P. was in a bad relationship. Her boyfriend was becoming increasingly jealous and domineering. Eventually he tried to get physically abusive. She reports that when he hit her she elbowed him in the face, Thai kicked him and walked out.
  13. Keysi_chick

    Keysi_chick New Member

    I just saw this thread and thought id post a message as well. This week i had a bitter falling out with my boyfriend over my training and the fact most of my mates are male and from class, he got very possessive to the point where i dumped him for basically being a pain in the proverbial...you can gather the rest. He came round to my house when it was only me in, just to talk about things, bad idea, i told him, "look its over unless you stop being a prat, i'll continue training the long hours that i do, whether you like it or not" he got angry and said "but why do you have to spend so much time with the guys?" and i said "i have to cos i train with them," he got so angry and i just said "look its over," he stood up and said "nobody dumps me," and went for me...i instinctly gave him a side kick to the ribs/ stomach which winded him then followed it up with a right cross then a left upper-cut which left his face all bloodied and proper messed up :D i then threw him out. Afterwards i was pretty shaken in case he came back, but my brother came up and stayed with me that night. So, after that, to have someone you truely trusted and thought you loved, turn on you suddenly has left me shaken and scared to the point of i dont know who to trust anymore...
  14. Pacificshore

    Pacificshore Hit n RUN!

    First of all, I'm glad your training paid off, and that you were able to defend yourself. Second of all, don't loose your focus on this guy, even though you had a now previous relationship. Just keep aware of your surrondings...not being paranoid. Hopefully he's received the message that it is now over, and that he should move on.
  15. KungFuGrrrl

    KungFuGrrrl Valued Member

    Please see my website - I work with survivors of domestic violence. and usually, he will come back with flowers and an I so sorry , I love you........ dont fall for it.

    Look at my website please......www.focus101.net
    and best of luck to you!
  16. Melanie

    Melanie Bend the rules somewhat.. Supporter

    Keysi - I'm so sorry things turned out the way they did. However, if he thought of it once, he may think of it twice - I have been threatened once by a man. I won't let him do it again. I am no ones plaything. Be strong and I'll be thinking of you. :)
  17. tel

    tel absorb what is useful for

    well done keysi,glad u cracked his jaw
  18. tellner

    tellner Valued Member

    Keysi, you did what you had to and it worked. Good job.

    Watch out for this guy. It sounds like he's possessive and jealous. "Why do you have to spend so much time with the guys" and "nobody dumps me" are serious warning signs. Odds are he'll come back, either all sweet and nice (maybe even apologetic) or angry and violent. The fact that you kicked his butt once already could go either way on the second alternative.

    The first is more insidious and dangerous. A lot of women fall for it six or seven times before they leave for good. It gets worse every time.

    You'd probably be best to take a line from Little Charlie and the Nightcats and Dump That Chump .
  19. Kyberneticka

    Kyberneticka Valued Member

    I've been groped in the past and not had the know-how to get out of it.

    As mentioned in a previous TKD thread i have only just started (august) in TKD, in the classes we do some self defense, grappling, take downs that sort of thing.

    Just over 2wks ago i was 'approached' by a young girl while i was standing at a supermarket atm, i had been awared that someone had approached but didn't take much notice, as she demanded money she took a step towards me and reached into her pocket, at this i went into over-drive.

    I side kicked her in the knee (i'm tall and have quite a lot of weight behind me), forcing it into the back of her leg and as she lurched forward i grabbed her by the head and drove my knee into her face.

    I'm not particulary proud of myself as i could have handled it better, but i panicked, i've now found out that she was carrying a weapon and had targeted a few pensioners in the area.
  20. adouglasmhor

    adouglasmhor Not an Objectivist

    Not me but my GF was working as a wiatress in a small upmarket country house hotel in Dorsetshire. A guest was rather rowdy and drunk even before his meal and kept making suggestions to my then 17 year old girlfriend (this was 20 years ago). As coffe was being served he put his hand straight up her skiirt and grabbed her hard enough to hurt. The others at his table looked embarassed but said nothing. She calmly turned round and poured a full cafitierre of bhot coffe over his crotch. Funily enough he let go. Other staff warned her to lock her door at night after that and sure enough her door was tried at around midnight that night.

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