That's a great link Louie! As for grappling, maybe it's just me, but I never saw anything the least bit sexual about it. There's too much else to think about when you're being thrown to the ground. And I think it is good practice to grapple with the other gender--women, of course, since most of their attackers will be men, and men just to grapple with someone who may not be as strong, but may be more agile or flexible than them.
There is a pretty big taboo about being that close to a member of the opposite sex. Especially for those who are in a relationship. It is pretty hard to get a significant other to understand that there is nothing sexual about grappling. The only way I can figure around it is to get them involved as well or at least get them acclimated to it. I don't know about ya'll but I never once got hot and bothered while being smushed or trying to defend against a choke.
sounds familiar - my mother still insits that she can't get used to 'having a fighter for a daughter' after about 4 years, but most in my family are all for it. Even my very 'NZ bloke' grandfather was proud, but then he did used to do boxing apparently. Luckily it hasn't been that bad at my work, more good natured, but it does get abit irritating. I do TKD btw. haven't had people refuse to train with me though - sounds abit juvenile really. Well... some of the kids say I'm "too scary" but then complain I go to easy on them so that doesn't cound
Hi Lady Calynne, I reckon most family members come to accept it in the end. Some sooner, some later. In my case it took a long time for their acceptance, but I can understand their feelings as I was already at a mature age with grown up kids. Actually, the refuser was in his 30's and a very serious student. Have you done any competition fighting yet? It's good to see TKD in the Olympics. From my observations, TKD is very popular with a good percentage of girls and women training in it. I practice Chinese Kung Fu (Southern Praying Mantis) which is a totally different MA to TKD. Not many girls/women practice it and it's not a popular MA BUT a highly respected one. Good luck in your training and enjoy every minute.
Yeah, been in a few competitions - thats where the comments came from my family doesn't mind so much, just me being so into it, but as you say they'll get over it
my parents were never really happy to see me train martial arts. it's not that they want/can forbid it. they are worried that i might get injured. and when i am off to competitions, they start panicing. but after years of training and competing, they realised that it is futile to panic, but still they don't feel comfortable. my mother calls me several times a day to see if i'm in one piece in the beginning it was so annoying, but then i realised that they are really worried about my health so i can't blame them. after all, they are parents. it's their job to worry so far i have won a medal at every competition i've been to. i have also started a club and teach but have my parents changed? no, they haven't and they never will.
Speaking of women & martial arts, how can I get my wife to try a class . She's concerned about self-defense & wants to get in shape for a triathlon (running, biking, and swimming)-- I think MA training would help her overall conditioning. But no matter what I say, she just won't try it! If she tries it, doesn't like, and doesn't want to do it, I'm fine with that, but I wish she would make an informed decision. And I have a hunch she really would like it.
Women and Martial Arts Hi All! I've been following this thread with great interest and would like to contribute with my input. I am a 44 year male who doesn't practice martial arts, though I took "some karate" when I was 14. Since quite young, I've been facinated by the topic of hand to hand combat between the genders. <We really don't need to know this>. Unlike most, I don't consider it to be unfeminine for women to have the ability to defeat and or outclass men in the martial arts. In fact, I believe that this enhances a woman's femininity and beautifies her even more. It is a blessing that women can in fact obtain a level of profeciency in the martial arts that exceeds that of us males. Allow me to explain. For centuries, it seems that the one reason men have been able to suppress women is due to our alleged greater physical strength. I think deep down inside, men have always known that women are easily our equal and more in many areas of life. Now that educational opportunities are very much open to women, they are proving to be in general better students and better professionals in their working life. Of course, I'm talking in general as there are exceptions both ways. Women are outclassing men in many areas but it still is pretty much a "man's world" out there. I believe that more female leadership would be good for our world but that rabid "male superiority" mentality still abounds with it's roots based again, on the alleged greater physical strength of the male over the female of the species. It would be a wonderful thing for martial arts training to be a part of every female's upbringing as this would build a much more confident, stronger and well rounded individual. Self esteem would be at an all time high for young women and never again would they feel that they are in any way less than any male. I'm not advocating that females train in martial arts and self defense just to go out and start beating up men just to prove something. Talking about self defense...is it important for females? Just think how many mothers and older sisters or cousins have advised the younger ones on how to "kick him were it hurts the most" or "scratch his face". According to a newspaper article I read many years ago, this type of advice saved a 10 year old girl from getting molested by her father's "best friend". The girl's father invited his "friend" over to watch a ball game. When the man got there, the father decided to make a quick run to the grocery store to buy some beer and other goodies. He asked his guest to stay as his daughter was asleep and didn't want to leave her alone in the house. While the girl's father was at the store, this scum walked over to the young girl's bedroom and attempted to touch her where he shouldn't. Upon waking, the girl got up and was able to give him a quick snap kick to the testicles. She then called the police and though it took minutes for both her dad and the cops to get there, the offender was still on the floor curled into a fetal position in pain. And still in the same paper not too long after that, I read about a 15 year old high school junior who defended herself from a possible rape by a man in his early 30's. According to the article, this young lady practiced martial arts and self defense religously and was able to totally dominate this confrontation with her attacker who was twice her age and larger as well. Every time I read or hear stories of females successfully defending themselves, it drives that point even more. Young girls and women should not be allow themselves to be discouraged in learning martial arts and or self defense. I believe this could help to bring on a major societal change as men would learn to respect women even more. I did state that it is not necessary for women to go out and start beating up men to prove something or try to seize societal power by force. Just the aura of confidence that a well trained female martial artist will keep most guys in their proper place. Case in point, several years ago, I was at an auto dealership purchasing a new pick up truck. At one point in the buying phase, I was ushered to the finance and insurance manager to finalize the paperwork. Who I found to be the f&i manager was an attractive woman who was probably in her mid thirties at the time. Of course she was wearing one of those woman's "powersuits" and the black shiny high heeled opera pumps. She was dressed to "kill" and kill she really could as you read on. I just couldn't get over how much power and confidence this woman radiated. I was already intimidated and we hadn't even started to negociate. It's as if though I knew things were going her way from the very beginning. She then extended her hand as she introduced herself and gave me a very firm handshake. I'm certain that I felt her hand MORE than she felt mine. And for some odd reason, I also knew she could have sqeezed my hand enough to cause me discomfort if you know what I mean. What do you think was the first thought to cross my mind after she shook my hand? I said to myself, "I bet this woman could probably kick my ass if she wanted to". As I sat across her desk, I looked very discreetly at her hands and noticed how strong they looked and the size of her knuckles which were bigger than mine. Another thought came to me as to how little amount of effort this woman needed to break a man's jaw or knock him out with one punch and cause him a major concussion. At the end of our negociating, I just couldn't hold back any longer and I nervously made the remark that I really was impressed with how strong her handshake was and if she participated in any sports? She then answered that she in fact worked out and that she was a black belt in karate who also competed. I walked out of her office shaking like a leaf. <Too much information> but from a practical point of view, this lady could go very far in life as she had the strength of character as well as physical strength to go very far in life. I am always respectful towards women but in this lady's case, it was NOT an option! That was the way it was to be...no ands, ifs or buts. And a point I would like to make is that she was very ladylike in every way. In closing this very lengthy post; as a male, I would very much welcome more women to learn self defense and martial arts. The benefits could extend beyond the mere physicality of the practice. It could bring women the respect that they've always deserved as well as the power to get further in life. Thanks for reading. I really want to thank the person who edited my post.
Doesn't the fact that you were scared of this woman make you sexist? Would you be scared of a huge, tough guy? I think a lot of this "omg that woman is so hard" comes from sexism. She's a woman, and she can fight, must be a mutant or something...
????? Hi Scarlet Mist, I don't know if you were responding to my post or not but just in case...no I don't consider myself to be a sexist. I just get excited whenever I see a woman partake in activities that are usually associated as male dominated and do just as well or better in some cases. My post was merely to accentuate just that. No I wasn't scared of that woman and would not have hesitated to form a friendship like I would with any other person. And by the way, in the past, I have dated probably no less than 3 women who I was aware could have swept the floor with me in a fair fight but knowing that didn't make me feel less of a man or emasculated. That fact did not prevent us from having the normal romantic feelings that are common amongst couples. Maybe I didn't come across the right way in my post as you can see someone took the liberty of deleting a couple of my comments and that's fine. I think that person did the right thing. However again, my comments were to simply encourage women to forge ahead and continue to practise their martial arts and lead other women to do the same in spite of "traditional" societal pressures. My two "centavos" for what it's worth. iamcurious
I think its the "getting excited" thats curious in my opinion. I was the only female in my class when I first started training and myself and my class were taught the same thing - which has thankfully been an ongoing part of my training in other clubs that I have attended. There is only "other" people in the dojo, not male and female. If both parties are wearing ALL of the appropriate clothing it shouldn't make a difference. You seem a little stuck on the gender issue in my opinion. By the very fact you applaud woman for being so clever that they can master such a male dominated thing like martial arts - it belittles us. Admiration and appreciation is all very well - but there shouldn't be time for it - we should all just be training. Just my two cents.
Really interesting discussion... just my perspective: I've always been a bit of a tomboy, wrestling and grappling with my younger sister when we were growing up; playing rugby at school, then fencing when the university rugby team fell through, and now I've just started learning kung fu (praying mantis). I’ve had the “don’t hit me” reactions, had many nicknames (for example at uni psycho, begbie, xena) just because my preferred sport then involved pointy metal sticks based on swords. Other people on the other hand are great, possibly a little taken aback at first, but usually more inquisative (sp! sorry) than mocking. My boyfriend thinks its great… it was after being allowed to sit in on one of the classes he goes to (he does White Crane – and with a female instructor at that) that I decided to look for something similar near to where I live.
Iamcurious - good post!!! Definitely not, look at Carrie Anne Moss, Milla Jovovich or Sienna Guillory
Well Melanie, I'm sorry if I came across the wrong way. It was not my intention to "belittle" women when I was actually praising you all. I will say no more on the subject. I'm out of here for good :Angel: i "was" curious
I'm male, I think that's pretty evident. In class there are usually between one and five female students, there are female instructors and many female senior grades. When working with a female I tend to temper my strength (I'm relatively strong for my size) a bit more than if I am working with a male, generally the females tend to rely on technique more, males rely partly on strength, partly on technique. This is just an observation. I could bowl (most of the) females over with my atemi (striking) and that isn't productive for training, so I adapt myself and my style to suit the person I'm training with. I also find it much more of a challenge (overall) working with a male than a female as working with a male tends to necessitate good technique and a proportion of strength. I'm not saying any of this is right or wrong, just how things currently pan out for me in the dojo.
Well if thats all you had to contribute to the forum - thats a shame. Good luck in your journey iamcurious.
Hmm.... don't know why I didn't post here earlier. I started grappling about a month into starting kuk sool. It was really weird at first (couldn't stop giggling), and I'm really glad that the first person to show me the grappling ropes was female, but now I pretty much grapple almost exclusively with guys, and I don't have a problem, they've always treated me as an equal and have had no problem with doing whatever they have to in order to beat me. They actually don't like me too much sometimes b/c I'm really good at wriggling out of tight spots, though they usually manage to make me tap out in the end. One of the black belts is careful when it comes to using his weight against me, but it's not because I'm a girl and he's a guy, it's because he's 170lbs and I'm 135lbs and I'll learn more if I'm not forced to tap out 2min into the match b/c I'm being smothered. I pretty much always lose so far, b/c everyone I go against is either bigger than me, more skilled than me, or both, but I figure it's good training for real situations, it'll speed up the learning curve, and it's good preparation for places like Davenport, where they have little things like weight classes that will even out the opposition. Anyway, my two cents
