Hi there, I have noticed a lot of messages, emails, articles... (not specifically on MAP I must say) that try and scare women from going out and that make us feel like preys/potential victims. I am not denying the dangers that lie around, nor the need for us to use our common sense, but I feel this goes against the well-needed process of empowering women and contributes to unfounded fears and hatred. Has anyone else got any thoughts on this? Cheers,
I personally think that many situations can be very dangerous for women, and that they should be careful not to put themselves in dangerous situations. I don't want my girlfriends walking around town at night by themselves, or stopping at gas stations alone at night. Maybe I'm just sexist, but I want the women I care about to be safe at all times. I don't think that it has much to do with detracting from the "empowerment of women," but has everything to do with making women aware of the dangerous realities that exist in every day life. The fact of the matter is, that your average male can overpower your average female, and there are a lot of screwy people in the world. It seems that women are more often targets then men and they need to take the proper precautions to keep from ending up hurt or in a bad situation. EDIT: Welcome to the forums, by the way.
Perhaps you can give a specific example to discuss. Personally I haven't seen this happen, except for the occasional spurious email. Not walking in a women's shoes makes this a difficult question to answer but my feeling overall is that you are wrong. What is it that makes you feel like this?
I've cited a couple of examples here. I could get you more as they are sent to me constantly, being a member of several Women's SD newsgroups & forums http://www.martialartsplanet.com/forums/showthread.php?t=22601
Look at the recent thread on that horrific Russian video of a woman getting ambushed and stomped to death. A bunch of people, all men it looks like, were vehement in their insistence that it be shown to women's self defense students, analyzed and shown again. It's an incredibly rare sort of attack. It's not the real danger that almost all women are likely to face. If you blind-sided Randy Coture that way the results would probably be the same. But these guys were all for scaring women as much as possible and rubbing their faces in situations where effective resistance is impossible.
I have a close friend who is a RAD instructor. She tells me her greatest frustration is the complacency with which most of the women she meets approach the subject of rape/assault defense. She tells me that the vast majority of women say "it'll never happen to me". I think the value in showing something as disturbing as that particular video would be in showing that women get attacked regardless of what they're wearing or how much they've had to drink or even if they stay out of the dark parking lots. In that specific video, sure, the poor lady had no chance. But I would think the shock value might be enough to overcome the inertia of complacency - and there has to be some value in that. I think "rubbing their faces" is an unfair characterization. Wow, I just used a lot of big words all in one place.
Raising awareness I agree that raising awareness is important and that women (and I include myself there) do tend to think that they're safe if they behave sensibly. I do think, though, that freeking people out isn't the answer. If a woman acts like a victim, she's more likely to become one.
The problem with the russian video is the "blood on the highway" approach that becomes so shocking that it looses the shock. And as Tellner correctly suggests it tends to distract us, with the notion of the random attack, away from the most common self defense scenario women (at least in the US) face: attacks from people they know. The sad fact is that, based on various government and thrid party statistics, a woman is far more likely to be attacked in a familiar setting by someone that she knows. This isn't to say that we shouldn't trust anyone. But it is important to break out of that cycle of apathy and denial, the "it won't happen to me" syndrome. From there we must start out with the highest statistical probabilities that an individual will face and then move to the outliers. - Matt
Domestic violence Indeed Matt! I think in our societies, domestic violence (whichever way it's directed) is still too present. I feel that if there was more emphasis at school and at home about how to solve disagreements peacefully (wherever possible), then less women and men (let's not forget them!) would be attacked. I also think that violence against men should be talked about a lot more. I don't see why they or others should feel that they have to put up with it just because they're male!
