What makes you realize, that there is a "bad time" coming?

Discussion in 'Mental Health and Addiction' started by Latikos, May 30, 2016.

  1. Latikos

    Latikos Valued Member

    At first I thought to add that do Chadderz thread, but than I thought it to be unfair to raid his thread.

    I'm in the middle of a... let's call it "depression phase".
    I'm sure some people know, what I'm talking about.

    Years ago I was prescribed antidepressants for a while, and by now I usually manage to get out of this "phases" within some weeks.
    Seeing how I always managed that somehow certainly helps there, even though it doesn't make things easier.
    But I found some ways to work with it (MA/ sports being very important here).

    Anyway, that's not really what I wanted to talk about.
    Actually, I'm not even entirely sure, why I started this thread, but because it doesn't leave my mind, I just started it :eek: Sorry.

    On Friday I was asked by "my" chaplain, how I notice that these phases are coming and on what signs I see it's there, and things like that.

    So I tried to explain it as best as I could, realizing that it's rather difficult (for me!) to actually verbalize.
    Then again - I'm not much of talking person anyway, and stammer half the time anyway, getting ticks along the way :rolleyes: :D

    But earlier today, when I was driving to practice, I sat in the train.
    Next to me at the window was a little "Gewitterliege" (I don't know the English word and I'm not even entirely sure I use the correct German word here; they seem(!) to be of the family of Thysanoptera; fly-like, 2mm "big"... ) it wing was hurt/snapped.
    It walked around and all now and then was erecting its wings; I'm not sure, if it was trying to fly as well (they mostly seem to walk) but it wouldn't have worked.
    Furthermore the little snapped wing wouldn't "go back" to where it belongs but stick out in an angle that's not natural.

    I took it with me out of the train when I left and put it on some bushes.

    But my point of that story: I felt totally miserable when I was watching that tiny little insect!
    I couldn't just shrug it off, but felt sorry for it - a little insect, that at other moments would probably have annoyed me, by doing something stupid.

    And all I thought was: That! That is when I notice, that those "bad phases" are coming.
    Or that they can make me feel like that, about something that usually doesn't bother anyone.

    So, yes: For some weird reason that was the impulse to start this thread.
    This and not hijacking Chadderz thread ;)

    So - what about others here?
    Does any one here have similar experiences or maybe completely different signs, that show you that something is wrong with you?

    PS: I'm not really talking about "normal" bad days (those are bad enough though) but those... "worse times", where you have to fight to actually move and do something, because everything is just so "meh" and life blows anyway.... yadda yadda yadda moments.

    PPS: I hope I'm in the right forum now.
    But since it's sort of depression-related I thought it might be.
  2. Pretty In Pink

    Pretty In Pink Moved on MAP 2017 Gold Award

    I know the feeling intensely. I'm also willing to bet I'm not the only one. I do seem to go through ups and downs with depression. Right now I'm running normally (emotionally) and I feel fine. A few weeks ago I was crying myself to sleep every night.

    I'm just chalking it up to improving. Haven't been like that for a few years, so obviously I must be getting better.

    Good luck man. Remember and don't feed negative voices. Ignore them.
  3. Latikos

    Latikos Valued Member

    Thank you!

    I usually get out of those downs over the time and learned quite well to manage them.
    I think so anyway.

    Yes, certain people notice when something is wrong again.
    Currently one of my teachers for example, because I'm just not in the mood to feign that everything is golden with him (and some other people).

    I told him once I won't lie to him and that includes the down-times.

    He also made me more of a fighting person (emotionally-wise) so I just refuse to wallow in self-pity - which is actually more helpful then I expected.
    Just not giving up but keep going with most things like normal.
    Then again, my "normal" isn't normal for most people, so...

    I was just really baffled how miserable that insect made me feel.

    Ah, well, those weeks will go over as well sooner or later.
    There are people who are way more worst off then I am!
    I "only" need to declutter some things in my mind and get others in a right perspective.

    And maybe find a good uke for my JJ-grading, as my current uke doesn't seem to be too reliable right now...
  4. Latikos

    Latikos Valued Member

    Sheesh, I'm such a moron at times...

    @Chadderz: I totally forgot to mention it in my answer: I'm really glad to hear, that you're doing better at the moment!

    And that you're improving there as well!
    I think, the moment you look at it like that, there really must be an improvement.
    Which I think is awesome for you!

    Personally I got lucky for the last three years - the ups and downs are still there, but most of the time either less intense or not as long as then before.
    Or I just got better at fighting them back.
    I never thought to at it like that until your answer.
  5. Smitfire

    Smitfire Cactus Schlong

    I notice bad phases coming when small things annoy me. Literally spilling milk can set me off "As if I don't have enough to deal with now I've spilt the damn milk...why did that have to happen!!!? Gaaaaahhhhh".
    And then I end up not wanting to do anything because I pre-emptively think it'll all go wrong anyway. So why bother.
    I'm having one of those phases right now TBH.
  6. Latikos

    Latikos Valued Member

    I think, I know that as well.

    But for me those short fuses can com with normal bad days as well.

    Not wanting to play a cheer-up clown, because those are annoying in times like that (well, to me anyway. "Smile, life is great!", "Oh, you have asthma? Well, just breathe, there's air anyway."), but just keep in mind, that it will change again and does bother.

    But: Easier said than done.
    (Gosh, I need to check when to use "then" and "than" again; I was so good with that for a while...)

    I hope you get well or at the very least better soon!
  7. Count Duckula

    Count Duckula Valued Member

    Not much useful info from me because I am not dealing with those issues. The one useful thing I can say is that in rare situations when I am under a lot of stress, I recognize I am not my usual self when I start to lose my temper over things I would normally consider small annoyances or otherwise react out of character.

    When I recognize that in myself, I start avoiding people and discussions, and try to keep contact to a minimum because I recognize that I might snap and say things I would regret later.
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2016
  8. Tom bayley

    Tom bayley Valued Member

    I do not get depression per se / but I do get what i would call emotion storms associated with Migraines.

    The emotion storms can last for a few weeks and can create huge mood swings - from manic positive phases, to depression, to bursting into tears, to fixating on certain projects or activities.

    I have begun to recognise these feelings as false. The intensity of reaction and the rate of swing don't fit with the situation I am actually in. I try to sit back from the feeling and observe it. I sometimes Imagine that the emotion is a train. I acknowledge its presence, I watch it appearing from a distance, watch it draw close, then watch it move away and out of sight.

    When I am in one of these phases - I keep my contacts to old friends who understand that I can act a little non standered and who do not take offence. But i find it really important to keep contact with people even if I am feeling the urge to withdraw. It helps me stay anchored .
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2016
  9. webcrest

    webcrest Valued Member

    you quite right Latikos, depression phases try to defeat and drown everyone so you are not the only one and be happy you are just normal like me and everyone here... cool feeling..isn't it ? ;) Sometimes i really feel very low and disappointed but this mainly happens when small things or some unwanted people start interfering in my life for unnecessary reasons then i just get out of my mind and mood. I feel like i can't do anything any more for any one. just a small step of depression took me in to immense darkness. Than i have to struggle very hard to get out of it. some times it takes few hours and sometimes its so severe that it took my months to recover to normal and that's very painful i must say ;( anyway i recommend try not to over think , sleep well , do exercises and yoga on daily basis as meditation and yoga greatly helps me to get out of this stupid feeling and negative thoughts. redirect your negative energies into positive one by keep yourself busy in healthy activities. well good luck and have a nice day :)
    PS. smile is the best medicine :)
  10. flaming

    flaming Valued Member

    Sorry I have not read the rest of this thread.

    Poor sleep patterns seem to be the most important thing. Whether you are a lark or an owl you need at least 8 hours a night in my opinion.

    Try oblas oil, lavender, or bergamot oil in a oil; burner in the room, that you sleep in. Also a thing I have yet to try is a eye mask to block out any light.

    Another thing is too avoid any stress during the day and especially coming up to bedtime. I know this is difficult to do...

    Avoid coffee, in the middle of the night if you wake up have water or a weak cup of tea.

    Listen to your current or classic favorite album. Usually by the time it is finished you should feel tired.
  11. furinkazan

    furinkazan Valued Member

    for me, usually it's this sense of a couple of days of an emotional flatline, and headaches in the morning. Everything else follows soon after.

    I've honestly had a lot on my plate lately with mental health. My anxiety and depression have made it so I dont really get much of an endorphin release for those 'feel good' exercise feelings, unless I push myself so relentlessly hard that Im exhausted after.

    I also find my thoughts become hard to regulate and keep on track, like my head is full of foam and its stopping my thoughts going to where I need them to be.
  12. flaming

    flaming Valued Member

    I feel exactly the same way at the moment. I don't know what to recommend. Other than keep going. And keep talking. Hopefully you have someone that will listen to you.
  13. TwirlinMerlin

    TwirlinMerlin Valued Member

    I know it's coming when my daily energy level has noticeably dropped for more than a couple days. Then I notice my thoughts and outlook on most things has gotten negative. You are probably the "Empath" of personality types. This is mine as well. This type tends to absorb other peoples negativity and it can become overwhelming to the point of depression. The things that help me stay on top of it are learning to recognize when it's happening like you are doing, and then forcing myself to take action. For example, don't let people cry on your shoulder except wife and kids or close loved ones, Don't be anyone's emotional crutch, don't hang out with miserable or toxic people. I also force myself to do activities that are either fun and exciting or relaxing and productive. You might get together with some fun people and watch a UFC fight or try an extreme sport out to really get your adrenaline up. I once went skydiving and was ramped up for a solid month afterwards. Or you can go the relaxing route which helps gather your thoughts. I like gardening, making or building things, etc. All of it helps me but doing something really exciting can get me out of a funk instantly.
  14. Latikos

    Latikos Valued Member

    Picking out some made points.
    Thanks to anyone for being part of this thread!

    Not really possible for me, because I get stressed as soon as there are peopl around :D :eek:
    I try to learn to get used to it and it gets better. Only slowly, but slow progress is still progress.

    Not a coffee drinking person anyway, but when I used to drink coke I never had trouble with that.

    I actually can't sleep, when something - be it music or the telly - is running.
    Natural "noises" I don't mind at all: If there are birds singing outside I actually sleep well, but "unnatural noises" make it very, very difficult for me.


    I have it a bit different: In the more difficult times my thoughts go to more difficult pathways as well and it's at times nearly impossible *not* to think about certain stuff.

    At the same time I half the time can concentrate in other things - as long as they're interesting me - but the thoughts go back and in circles to the "difficult pathways".

    Luckily(?) I don't have that.
    I'm actually the contrary at times and get really fidgety and twitchy.

    Personally I'm not even good enough to read the feelings of people unless they're very clear.
    Sure, I can see and differentiate when people laugh, cry and other "extremes", but as soon as it's not that obvious it gets a bit more difficult and when they try to hide how they feel chances are they're successful.
    I also usually think people are annoyed, but often they aren't.
    So, yeah, my skills are

    Well, there really aren't people who talk to me, but I probably would try to help anyway.
    This way I can ignore my own problems for a while.

    Hardly ever hanging out with anyone, but for me that's a rule anyway.
    I'm not nearly good enough with people to spent my time (and work through all the stress) with people I don't like or that make me miserable.

    Funny, how different people are.
    And I mean that in a good way.

    As soon as I'm having bad times, no matter why, the last I could do, would be something like gardening.
    My thoughts would go to places I wouldn't want them to go and I would have to much quietness, so that I'd get even more edgy.

    I noticed lately that when I'm having a bad time or even only a bad day, that I get really nagging towards the cats - who obviously aren't at fault usually.
    Sure, sometimes they do something really(!) annoying but these aren't even the times, I get louder.
    When I *do* get louder it's always about something trivial and I feel horrible right afterwards.

    I also noticed that my opinion towards some things change from day to day, for example: Roughly ten days ago I was told, that I probably won't get graded this summer.
    At first I didn't care, a day later I was really annoyed by it (not even for belt hunting reasons, but because it's annoying when you get treated like an idiot, because you have a low grade), then I didn't care again.
    Right now - I will be told tomorrow if I get tested tomorrow or not - it's: If I get graded tomorrow, I will get graded. If not, well a little shame, but who cares?
    I asked one of my teachers and he thinks I would probably be good enough fr the next grade and that was good enough for me. After that it wasn't important anymore.

    Another example would be something that has happened with my counseling.
    At first I was so annoyed, now I have capitulated.
    In case it doesn't work out the way I want it to, I'm not in a position to change something right now - so it's waiting and seeing what's going to happen.
  15. flaming

    flaming Valued Member

    I shouldn't be replying to this because I just read avoid screen time if you can't sleep 'Naughty flaming' :p it's 2:30 pm here. :zzz:

    I understand what you mean about your thoughts going back in circles to something negative.

    Mitch recently told me that too much introspection can lead to negative thoughts. So I see what you mean about finding gardening difficult. I found yoga difficult today. I keep having panic attacks at the moment when I'm in public.

    I know this sounds harsh but you have to keep facing your fears. That's why I like the game Limbo so much. Basically the whole game is about fear in my opinion. Social anxiety is my main fear. But the more exposure to people and the more I get out of the house the easier it gets. I am finding.

    So yeh just keep facing your fears. And try to get out the house 4 hours a day. Try not to worry about your future at the moment, just take a day at a time that's what I'm doing. Work through a list of activities and focus on the positive.

    [ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6qwcjxDosc"]Batman Begins - batcave - YouTube[/ame]

    Flood yourself with the fear. :hat:

    Try talking to strangers. I have been trying to do this recently; old people are usually happy to chat.

    I have bags under my eyes like this painting.

    A child said to Lowry I don't like this painting and Lowry said 'It scares me as well'...
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2016
  16. TwirlinMerlin

    TwirlinMerlin Valued Member

    Flaming is so right about having to face your fears. Just remember you don't have to do it all at once. Just one small step is all you need. Something as small as taking a step out your front door and breathing in the cool air can help. If you can focus on only one step at a time it can help a lot. It sounds like you are a really smart person who is usually thinking about the big picture in all of its complexity just like a philosopher would. This can be overwhelming. This can be a burden for intellectual types who tend to think on a much deeper level. This should tell you something about yourself. You are smarter than the average bear so don't be so hard on yourself. It might help to try and dumb down activities into smaller steps. Also, cats are great aren't they? My name "TwirlinMerlin" is after my cat Merlin. He's a Main Coon mix who is super goofy and loves to judo throw the other cats with his giant paws. Tell us about your cats.
  17. Latikos

    Latikos Valued Member

    I have, I think, seven diagnoses of highly possible personality and behavioral disorders at the start at the moment (I need to see another neurologist, he will probably add one or two; so far every doc did), among them being social phobia - and yet I go train five days a week and have three other group settings (well, very small groups, to be honest though) a week as well.
    So I'm at least working on that; not extremely successful, but still...

    Doesn't really make me brave, I know, but at least one of teachers thinks, that's a good thing ^^

    Not sure about how intelligent I might be or not be.
    My counselor thinks I'm very smart; if that were to be true I sure as hell am wasting a lot of potential ;)

    The neurologist I had to see, told me it's very likely that my brain gets so much information, that it's like flooding - so the natural response for me is to shut down and avoid a lot.
    No clue, if she's right about it, but it would fit my explanations, when I was talking to my teachers or my counselor.

    It would be interesting though, if there really is a reason that I am the way I am, that's *not* my fault, but "just there".

    Funny, three or four of my teachers told me the same, when we were talking about progress in training.

    Mine are "only" european shorthair, so no "real race" (I'd like a British shorthair at some point).
    They're usually great.

    Two of them aren't 100% housebroken anymore though.
    One has had an inflammation of the bladder and the doc told us right away: "Good luck getting her housebroken again! And hope the others don't start it either".
    Now we work on that - for two years I think at least.
    At the moment I have her trained to use an old plate most of the time :eek:

    I don't want to give them away though, that's too easy and they don't deserve it.
    It's also kind of nice to wake up in the morning and have them everywhere in the bed with you; not necessarily comfortable but nice :D

    The other two are nearly perfect.
    None of the four would scratch or bite me to hurt me (I have the odd scratch from playing or when one jumps on my shoulder), they like to cuddle, ... the steal two/third of my bed... :D
  18. flaming

    flaming Valued Member

    My cats are called Leon and Lucifer.
  19. TwirlinMerlin

    TwirlinMerlin Valued Member

    Going to training five days a week is not an easy task for most. My hat is off to you.
    Your cat's sound like ours. We have three also and they all sleep in the bed on top of my wife. They don't sleep on me anymore since I'm a rough sleeper and have accidentally launched them across the room a few times lol.
    Flaming, your cat's sound kinda bad ass. Especially if Leon is short for Leonidis. You ought to have a warning sign on your front door, "Beware of Leonidis and Lucifer" followed by an image of two tigers devouring a flailing man.
  20. CrowZer0

    CrowZer0 Assume formlessness.

    I see a bad time coming when I don't get enjoyment from things I usually enjoy. Movies/Tv/Music/Games. And just feel lost. Currently I'm on a real nice natural high for the last week or so. But all good things come to an end.

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