Unexpected death

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by Xue Sheng, May 9, 2020.

  1. Xue Sheng

    Xue Sheng All weight is underside

    My mother-in-law, who has been in a nursing home for a bit more than a year, due to dementia, passed away unexpectedly last night. Physically she was healthier than I am and she was in her 80s. There was Covid-19 in her nursing home, but she had no symptoms of Covid.

    I will be spending the day talking with funeral homes and finding out what need to be done to get her remains back to China.

    Don't know why I am posting this, guess I just needed write it down to make me believe it is real.
     
  2. Pretty In Pink

    Pretty In Pink Valued Member MAP 2017 Gold Award

    That's so sad man. My thoughts are with you. Stay strong for your wife, she's going to need you.
     
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  3. Aegis

    Aegis River Guardian Admin Supporter

    Sorry to hear that. Hope you and your family are as okay as can be expected.
     
    Xue Sheng likes this.
  4. Dead_pool

    Dead_pool the merc with the mouth MAP 2017 Moi Award

    My thoughts are with you, be strong for yourself and your wife.
     
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  5. Flying Crane

    Flying Crane Member

    I am so sorry Xue. Hugs from the West Coast.
     
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  6. Travess

    Travess The Welsh MAPper Supporter

    Really sorry to hear that Xue - My thoughts go to your wife on the loss of her mother, and to you for the loss of your mother-in-law.

    I've been where you are, and I know that it is hard to get your head around, but stay strong buddy, and if you ever need "write something down" again, you know you have a place to do just that.

    Travess
     
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  7. bassai

    bassai onwards and upwards ! Moderator Supporter

    Sorry to hear your loss mate.
     
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  8. Xue Sheng

    Xue Sheng All weight is underside

    Thanks everyone, just trying to figure out what my wife wants to do, she keeps changing her mind, but that is to be expected.
     
  9. aaradia

    aaradia Choy Li Fut and Yang Tai Chi Chuan Student Moderator Supporter

    Oh jeez, so very sorry to hear that Xue!
     
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  10. ned

    ned Valued Member

    Sorry to hear of your sad loss mate.
     
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  11. Grond

    Grond Valued Member

    I'm very sad for you. Dementia and pneumonia go hand in hand, I'm sure you already know, and COVID19 pneumonia and complications come on so fast there's not a lot of time to even notice symptoms. I just learned of a 30 year old who practically died overnight because he was taking care of his two COVID infected parents (both nurses who got sick caring for patients). Whatever the real cause, hopefully she did not suffer much.
     
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  12. hewho

    hewho Valued Member

    Sorry to hear that.
     
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  13. Mitch

    Mitch Lord Mitch of MAP Admin

    So sorry to hear your news, I hope you and more importantly your wife have a lifetime of happy memories to treasure and share. Big hugs from MAP.
     
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  14. Xue Sheng

    Xue Sheng All weight is underside

    She was actually quite healthy and moving around the day before. They checked her at night and she was asleep and fine in her bed, they checked her in the morning and she had put 2 baby dolls in her bed, layed out a blanket on the floor and was laying there, on the blanket, on the floor, when they found her this morning.
     
    Last edited: May 10, 2020
  15. Xue Sheng

    Xue Sheng All weight is underside

    Thank You, we are doing fine, my wife has told her siblings in China and they have decided to do everything here, including the burial.

    This has been strange for me. I am the one calling funeral homes, checking cemeteries, shopping for caskets and working with arrangements. My father passed away in 2012, but but he and my mother had arrange everything already and that is how every family funeral I have gone to was. This one I am doing this, to help my wife and let her deal with the just the loss and not worry about the logistics

    My wife is doing fine, but I think she is still a bit numb. I will wait to see how the seek progresses
     
    Dead_pool likes this.
  16. Monkey_Magic

    Monkey_Magic Well-Known Member

    My deepest sympathies for you and your wife.
     
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  17. El Medico

    El Medico Valued Member

    Sorry,Xue. Condolences to family. Really sorry she ended her days with dementia,I've seen more than enough of that.
     
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  18. Xue Sheng

    Xue Sheng All weight is underside

    Sorry to keep posting about this, but this just hit me today. My mother-in-law lived in China during the Japanese occupation of World War 2, lived in Beijing during the Cultural Revolution and during the Tiananmen square protests
     
    Grond likes this.
  19. Xue Sheng

    Xue Sheng All weight is underside

    Oldest just called, he is heading back from Virginia for the burial and discovered tonight from my mother, the youngest, who is acting like everything is fine, is having a much harder time with this that she is letting on. She does not want to go and I am not going to make her, my mother will stay with her. And the oldest said when he gets here he will talk to her too. Now I just have to worry about the oldest taking a non-stop (as he put it) 8 hour trip tomorrow.
     
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  20. Xue Sheng

    Xue Sheng All weight is underside

    Oldest is home safe

    9:30 EST viewing
    After that burial
     
    Travess likes this.

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