The One with Unagi

Discussion in 'Women's Self Defence' started by KickChick, Nov 26, 2003.

  1. KickChick

    KickChick Valued Member

    I happened to turn the TV on last and nothing good on but reruns... so I watched this Friends episode having to do with Phoebe and Rachel taking a Women's self defense class. Pretty funny stuff however does bring up some good points .... doesn't it???

    [Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter wearing workout clothes.]

    Ross: Hi!

    Phoebe: Hey!

    Ross: Hey, what have you guys been up to?

    Phoebe: Ohh! We went to a self-defense class today!

    Ross: Wow!

    Rachel: Yeah, kicking a guy in the crotch all morning really takes it out of ya!

    Joey: Takes it out of you? (Laughs.)

    Phoebe: Now, we can kick anybody's ass!

    Rachel: Yeah!

    Ross: After one class? I don't think so.

    Rachel: What? You wanna see me self-defend myself?! Go over there (points) and pretend you're a sexual predator! Go on! I dare ya!!

    Ross: Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, that's not enough. Look, I studying kara-tay for a long time, and there's a concept you should really be familiar with. It's what the Japanese call (he holds two fingers up to his temple, and he does this every time he says this word) unagi.

    Rachel: Isn't that a kind of sushi?

    Ross: No, it's a concept!

    Phoebe: Yeah it is! It is! It's freshwater eel!

    Ross: All right, maybe it means that too...

    Rachel: Ohh! I would kill for a salmon skin roll right now!

    Ross: Y'know what? Fine! Get attacked! I don't even care!

    Phoebe: (deadpan) Come on Ross. We're sorry. Please tell us what it is.

    Ross: Unagi is a state of total awareness. Okay? Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you!

    Phoebe: You mean in case someone is trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat or your kettle of fish?

    (Rachel laughs and Ross mocks her.)

    Ross: (moves closer) All I'm saying is, it's one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I don't know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachel's and screams) surprise!!

    (Rachel calmly wipes the spittle off her face.)

    Ross: All right, you know that one was coming, but that doesn't mean you have unagi. (Does the finger thing.) [​IMG]

    Scene: The Hallway between the Apartments, Ross is hiding behind that bump out on Monica's side waiting for Phoebe and Rachel. As they come up the stairs, he jumps out and yells...]

    Ross:DANGER!!! DANGER!!!!!

    (They both scream and jump away.)

    Phoebe: Ross!!!

    Rachel: What the hell was that?!

    Ross: A lesson in the importance of unagi. (He starts doing the finger thing every time now.)

    Phoebe: Ohh, you're a freak!!

    Ross: Perhaps. Now I'm curious, at what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?

    Rachel: All right, so we weren't prepared!

    Ross: I'm sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but I -- look, I just want you guys to be safe. (Monica comes out to throw out the garbage and Ross screams...) DANGER!!!!! (She completely ignores him and keeps walking.) Ahhh, huh? Unagi.

    Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are returning.]

    Phoebe: Pat Sajak?

    Rachel: Yep!

    Phoebe: Alex Trebek?

    Rachel: Oh, of course!

    Phoebe: Chuck Woolery?

    Rachel: Definitely! Phoebe, you will not find a single game show host, who's ass I cannot kick.

    (They start to walk into the living room and notice someone's head sticking up from behind a chair. The camera cuts to the other side and we see it's Ross.)

    [Time lapse. The girls have Ross pinned face down. Phoebe is sitting on his back and arms while holding his head down and facing Rachel. Rachel is sitting on his knees and holding his lower legs vertically, causing Ross pain.]

    Rachel: Say it!

    Phoebe: Say we are unagi!

    Ross: It's not something you are! It's something you have!

    Rachel: Say it!

    Ross: Y'know what? I can easily get out of this, but there is a chance you can get very, very hurt!

    (Rachel yanks on his legs again and he groans in pain.)

    Scene: A women's self-defense class, the instructor is just finishing a class.]

    The Instructor: Okay ladies, that ends today's class, and let's remember, let's be safe out there.

    (The women all clap and start to leave as Ross comes up to the instructor. Apparently he was hiding in the back.)

    Ross: It's a great class.

    The Instructor: Thanks.

    Ross: Yeah, yeah, I was watching. (The instructor just nods and walks away.) Umm, hey, a couple of questions though. Umm, about that-that-that last move where the woman tripped you and then pinned you to the floor, what-what-what-what would you do next?

    The Instructor: Well, she would take her keys and try to jam them...

    Ross: No. No-no. No. What would you do next?

    The Instructor: Who? Me the attacker?

    Ross: Yes that's right.

    The Instructor: Why?

    Ross: I tired attacking two women, did not work.

    The Instructor: What?!

    Ross: No, I mean it's okay, I mean, they're-they're my friends. In fact, I-I-I was married to one of them.

    The Instructor: Let me get this straight man, you attacked your ex-wife?!

    Ross: Oh, no! No-no! No, I tired! But I couldn't. That's why I'm here. Maybe we could attack them together? (He glares at him.) That-that's a no.
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2003
  2. KenpoDavid

    KenpoDavid Working Title

    I think this is my new sig line:
    "you will not find a single game show host, who's ass I cannot kick."

    And anyway anago is much better than unagi!!

    "you will not find a single game show host, who's ass I cannot kick."
  3. hkphooey

    hkphooey New Member

    Yes, that was a funny episode. I've seen it serveral times though I still had to read through it.

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