The effects of failure.

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by Zdavemac, Sep 19, 2013.

  1. Zdavemac

    Zdavemac New Member

    Failure has acted as the rudder which steers me through my life, either by turning me so stubborn I have no choice but to conquer an obstacle, or making me change course to other things. How has failure motivated you, changed you? how do you overcome it?
     
  2. Hannibal

    Hannibal Cry HAVOC and let slip the Dogs of War!!! Supporter

  3. cptequinox

    cptequinox Warrior Poet.

    Without failure, I cannot learn.
    Without failure, life is spurned.

    Without failure, there is no ambition,
    Without failure, you can have no mission.

    Without failure, there is naught to reach,
    Without failure, there is naught to teach.
     
  4. YouKnowWho

    YouKnowWho Valued Member

    Don't get too use to your failure. After you have been knocked down 1000 times, your "will" to get back up may not be there any more.

    A simple example. After you have divorced 5 times, what's the chance that you will find your 6th wife that you can live with her happy ever after? If you don't prepare well, compete your 1st tournament, and lose, you may try 6 months later. If you lose again, you may try next year. How many years are you willing to try if you just keep lose one after another?

    It's better trying to increase your successful rate and to decrease your failure rate as much as you can. The key is to prepare yourself to the best you can before you test yourself again. You can also learn a lot from your succeed too.
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2013
  5. Zdavemac

    Zdavemac New Member

    THIS is excellent. Very well put.
     
  6. Kwajman

    Kwajman Penguin in paradise....

    At a certain point in your life you just give up trying. Millions in America w/o jobs just quit looking. Suicides are up a tick, the middle class is dying. There isn't a lot of reasons to keep trying after you fail and fail and fail.
     
  7. Heikki Mustola

    Heikki Mustola Valued Member

    If only I know how to get motivated by the constant failures in life. I get more depressed by each, and boy, have I failed more times than a man can remember.

    It adds up to my bitterness and hate and adds an explosive result, unfortunately.

    Every failure changes me for the worst, I must admit, I envy the good people who only get motivated by the losses and failures.

    I must say that there is a one good thing here in my opinion, although I think other people will find it a bad thing: I am quite pessimistic about everything. I do not expect things to go good. And fortunately, that brings me extra joy every time I actually manage to succeed at something. And when I fail... Well, it sucks, but I do think it would suck more if I would be waiting for succeeding.
     
  8. Mangosteen

    Mangosteen Hold strong not

    The difference between an expert/professional and a beginner is that the expert has failed a 1000's times and learnt each time, where as a beginner fears failing.

    Knowledge and skill is built in failure
     
  9. holyheadjch

    holyheadjch Valued Member

    I failed in a big way once in my life so far and the fear of feeling that level of shame and uselessness drives means I will never allow myself to fail like that again. Fear is the ultimate motivator.
     
  10. holyheadjch

    holyheadjch Valued Member

    As Victor Frankl says, you only really have one true freedom, to choose how to respond to any given situation.

    You have to choose to be motivated by a failure.
     
  11. Van Zandt

    Van Zandt Mr. High Kick

    Regaining my flexibility after my hip replacement was the hardest task I have ever faced in my entire life. I knew it would be even before I had the operation. I blew up a photo of me doing the splits to A3 and printed it with the accompanying caption, "DO THIS OR DIE." I repeatedly told myself that I had to achieve my goal or at least kill myself trying because I didn't want to live a life without being able to kick people in the head. Seems really silly I know. But I purposely exaggerated my fear of being inflexible so my drive to succeed increased automatically as a side effect. The result is that it consumed my life for the several months it took me to regain my flexibility. I kept a notepad and pen next to my bed and I would write down half a page of affirmation before I went to bed, half a page when I woke up, and sometimes several pages if my thoughts woke me up in the middle of the night. I would read those words throughout the day, before and after my workouts, and any other time I felt my confidence slipping. I convinced myself I couldn't live without the splits but I also convinced myself I could get them back. My confidence soared. I mean, my spirit was on fire, man. And I eventually did it, I succeeded in getting flexible again. I learned a valuable lesson: fear is man's single greatest motivator.
     
  12. pgsmith

    pgsmith Valued dismemberer

    This attitude is exactly why so many people have much more difficulty with their lives than they should. Too many people view failure as an "obstacle" in their life that has to be "overcome". I'm not sure where this attitude came from originally, but it is the prevailing attitude in society today. What I was taught, and what I strove hard to teach all my Scouts back when I was Soutmaster, is that failure is simply part of life. The only way to keep from failing is to not do anything, which is itself a failure. Failure simply means you did not have enough information or ability to accomplish your goal. Failure is what allows us to grow as human beings. Without failure, there would be no growth. The important thing is not "overcoming failure", but learning from your failures in order to be better prepared for the next endeavor.

    In your example about being divorced 5 times, that tells me that this person, whether it is YouKnowWho or someone else, has not made the effort to learn from their past failures and is therefore destined to repeat them and continue failing. My first wife is that way to this day. Every time she fails at something, she has numerous excuses and reasons that it isn't her fault, so she doesn't ever learn from her failures and keeps making the same mistakes.

    Failure is a normal part of life, and you can't improve yourself as a human being without it. The key is to embrace it for the learning opportunity that it is, and to pull all the knowledge possible from every failure. This way you ensure that you are constantly learning and improving throughout your life.

    Just my opinions based on my own experiences.
     
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2013
  13. YouKnowWho

    YouKnowWho Valued Member

    That's my point too. The only way to keep from failing is to be "prepare yourself to the best that you can". This will reduce your chance of failure.
     
  14. philosoraptor

    philosoraptor carnivore in a top hat Supporter

    I keep failing everyday of my life. I get tapped out, I kill trees, I'm rejected from schools, I don't get published, whatever. Every day, more failures. Every day, more attempts made. Every (other maybe) day, a few successes. A few new things learned. I can make a bitchin' sandwich though.
     
  15. Mangosteen

    Mangosteen Hold strong not

    the biggest stall to progress isnt failure.
    it's doing the same thing over and over again cos it works for you causes the biggest stalls.

    cos eventually it wont work and because you never developed anything else, cos you were afraid of failure, you'll be stuck.
     
  16. Starsky

    Starsky Valued Member

    I have had a couple of big "failures" in my life. The last one nearly destroyed me at the time. I completely changed course within my career and life as a result.

    However, when the emotional intensity subsided and I could analyse what had happened, I saw that really I had let myself down which resulted in failure.

    I was on course for a First class degree from university and threw it away by chasing girls and partying. I later went into business with someone I was warned not to get involved with and got burned.

    The lesson I learned from these experiences is to do the best by myself or failure is the likely result. I have to admit at the time I was a ball of negative emotion but it just takes time to get through that.

    I've just started Ninjutsu. I'm overweight, unfit and in my 40's. I know I need to put serious effort into weight loss and fitness away from the class itself or I will fail again. Let's see if I've really learned anything from previous failures.

    While I was still trying to get over my last "failure" I came across this quote and it kind of stuck with me:

    " Experience is a cruel teacher. It gives a test before presenting the lesson."

    One thing I have learned is never let fear of failure stop you. There are things I thought I could never do and I've faced them down. Fear of failure is no reason for not trying. Don't let the critics, the sneerers, fingerpointers and naysayers stop you. I think they fear people who stick their head above the parapet. It highlights their cowardliness.

    Sorry for the rambling essay!
     
  17. Fujimoru

    Fujimoru Valued Member

    I dont think failure is so necessary but it is better to be used in a positive way than negative one
     

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