this is a difficult subject. to begin with the person in reference also is here on map. think he doesnt bother with health and fitness section so opened topic here instead of the off-topic forum. maybe somebody can offer me and him a little practical advice. this cousin of mine has done the martial art thing for years. longer than i have for that matter. began to notice his sense of humor had somewhat diminished and the practice of ma had slowed down. never thought about reason why or the extent until having recently been told. was suprised to learn this person confided in others here on map. we have always been close before. never thought he would tell comparitive strangers about something this important and not me. the majority of family didnt even know about him being ill until recently. what my wife said was that his wife had this idea about me convincing him to stop taking martial arts for health reasons. far easier said than done. from what little my own mom and aunt (his mom) have told me there is a serious nerve-involved problem. think hes smart enough not to jeopardize his ability to take care of family or self. just not sure what hes thinking since he wont bring up the subject and i have been cautious about mentioning this. if the health thing is that bad what could i say to convince him to not do ma? never has this person been that crazy about hunting like myself. not sure what to suggest if anything instead of ma. how to get some conversation started on subject with him? dont know the exact problem just that his wife is really worried.
So let me see if I can follow... Your cousin (who's also on MAP and we're hoping he doesn't know how to use the "Find All Posts" feature in your profile) has been training in the martial arts for many years, and he's recently lost his sense of humor and he's cut back on his training. His wife said to your wife that you should talk him out of continuing his training, and your mom and aunt told you he has some kind of serious nerve-related condition. So you want to talk him out of continuing his training, because his condition may get worse...and you said something random about hunting. Did I follow that correctly? I'm not really comfortable giving any advice without knowing more details, not the least of which is his exact condition and the severity of it. Let alone the fact that it might very well be none of your business in the first place (but that's more of a moral/ethical/philosophical discussion.) If he hasn't asked you for help, even though he's family, you might just need to let him make his own decisions, for better or worse. Regardless, I don't think it's the best thing to do, asking us behind his back (which is odd, on a public forum), while giving us such limited info.
if you cant tell us whats wrong i'm gonna go ahead and guess its something to do with getting hurt that's the problem and nothing to do with stress (in which case if he loves MA's that much it could cause more stress having to stop). has he told his instructor of this problem? they might be able to modify his training to suit his needs eg, less sparring and that kind of thing? also it might be handy if we knew which MA's he does?
Sounds like you, this guy, your family, and his doctor need to all discuss options together. If the doctor says sparring is dangerous, then he should stop. There's still ways to stay involved in martial arts though, and certain aspects that could be trained without fighting (so at least he'd still be involved and exercising). Could always take up taiji form and qigong training for example, or something similar.
somehow he felt the need to share this with all of you as opposed to many of us in the family. maybe he thought everyone would encourage the continued practice of martial arts? maybe asking behind his back isnt the best of ideas just thought you fellow posters might have some ideas. the for better or worse thing doesnt really seem optional. if this could get him really hurt as his cousin i feel obligated to do something. also there are his wife and kids to consider.
the effort to use the reply to each part of post did not go very well. some of the post/reply got mixed up there.
Not to be a bad person here, but: http://www.martialartsplanet.com/forums/showthread.php?t=70141 Bam! It just got real.
again it seems the regulars here on map are better informed than i am on the subject! had not really taken an opprotunity to read over a large number of different threads and posts. became too intrested with the jkd forums. maybe i sholud have taken a little time out for looking for specific threads and posts. the frustrating part is that he should have been talking to me about this! not attepting to be offense here but im family where map posters are in comparison almost strangers. just in the space of a single day here ive been able to learn more about this as opposed to weeks of being subtile and giving a chance to figure out the details. now what to do with this material? just say hey i read your threads and posts on map? or say im really mad you confided in others and not me? there has to be a tactfull way of dealing with the matter. cant start off with glad you came to your senses. any ideas?
hey scarlet mist, what did you mean by 'hate to be a bad person'? thanks for the heads up and pointing out that ive been too pre-occupied with the numerous forums to look into this first. does that qualify me as bad person. insensitive or just too easily distracted? the bad person here appears to be me.
To hard for me to help him here, he needs to do what he needs to do, if he feels family is important enough to make him stop doing what he loves, if this is the path of unhappyness he wants, he can do it. Me on the other hand, i would do it till i die, or if it kills me, i want to die doing martial arts, even if it effects my family
