Tell me your problems, my pretties

Discussion in 'Health and Fitness' started by Van Zandt, Aug 19, 2013.

  1. Van Zandt

    Van Zandt Mr. High Kick

    In my plan for world domination I plan to steal all the cheesecake. That's right Frodocious. ALL the cheesecake.

    MUH HA HA!!!

    But in the meantime I will make as many people as flexible as possible. Quite what that has to do with cheesecake is anybody's guess. Maybe you can all join my army of superkickers and we can finally -- FINALLY! -- launch the crusade against punching.

    To that end I will be relaunching my super sexy stretchy blog this week. There will be much stretching. There will be much sexytimes. There will be much super-ness. Oh yes. There will.

    I've got a catalogue of articles I'll be steadily publishing over the coming weeks and months. But I want to include a "flexibility clinic" section where I answer your questions and problems. Like Dr. Phil. But without the doctorate. Or the killer moustache. Or the name Phil. Yeah... anyway. Reply to this post with your biggest dilemmas, questions, problems, trials, tribulations, heartaches and heartbreaks. I can't promise you a wife. Or a husband. Or both. But I can promise you cheesecake. Because I will have it ALL!

    When I get round to answering your questions I'll post the answers in this forum as well as my blog.

    Much love to my cru. Innit.
  2. Hannibal

    Hannibal Cry HAVOC and let slip the Dogs of War!!! Supporter

    I need assistance with a routine for my quadratus lumbar - left side only. I tore it a few years ago and it is still not right
  3. Dean Winchester

    Dean Winchester Valued Member

    The beast at Tanagra... :D

    Well I've got knackered knees.

    Can you fix them?

    I'd also like a winning lottery ticket.


    Seriously though my usual training has had to take a back seat as my knees need time to get right but in the mean time I'm also cross training in a system that has a fair bit of kicking.

    Kicking doesn't give me any grief as such in the knees, oddly enough.

    I've just discovered I'm not 20 anymore and can't kick. :cry: my hips are very stiff and I'm a little cautious about how to go about fixing it.

    My legs are unbalanced as far as strength goes and it's the muscles supporting the knees that are weak. So while I could probably knock myself a Kurz inspired routine up I'm a bit reluctant.
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2013
  4. Hannibal

    Hannibal Cry HAVOC and let slip the Dogs of War!!! Supporter

    He also has a worrying rash......
  5. Princess Haru

    Princess Haru Valued Member

    I've similarish problems (the knees, not the rash) and had thought doing weights would help. The guys at Judo fight club are not very supportive about my doing weights. This is starting to ramble a bit so I'll try to get to the point. Even in Judo a bit of flexibility is useful, my attempt to sneak in the occasional Uchi Mata is often hampered by not being able to push my leg up enough while pulling them around and down. What kind of stretches should I do outside Judo, say after class or after my weights?
  6. Wildlings

    Wildlings Baguette Jouster

    I want to win the lottery, too!

    Apart from this, I have a question on isometric stretching :D
    During the contraction, I know I am *not* supposed to hold onto chairs or stuff, but what if I need to? When I'm stretched as much as I can I can't hold myself up at all, or I'll keep on sliding - especially the side split. I'm not quite sure wheter it's the floor or my lack of strength, but still I have to hold to the chair while tensing so it doesn't become suicide stretching :D
    Should I decrease the stretch so I can support myself without the chair or what? :D
  7. Dean Winchester

    Dean Winchester Valued Member

    And no social life apparently.
  8. Aegis

    Aegis River Guardian Admin Supporter

    Ooh, I have one!

    If I'm watching TV with my wife, what are some easy stretches I can do to improve leg flexibility that won't be distracting to her?

    (semi serious - I don't find that many static stretches work that well for me, but I assume that some are better than others)
  9. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

    Another one for knees. Not me I'm perfect x
    A 'friend'
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2013
  10. Fish Of Doom

    Fish Of Doom Will : Mind : Motion Supporter

    so what's a good way to sort out imbecilically tight anterior delts, biceps/coracobrachialis, and the flexor/pronator side of the forearm? :p
  11. Johnno

    Johnno Valued Member

    Is this just for stretching-type-stuff, or can you help us with personal problems too? I'm thinking that you could become the Claire Rayner of MAP.
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2013
  12. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

    I really don't think he's ready for me just yet then!
  13. Van Zandt

    Van Zandt Mr. High Kick

    Some call me Claire Rayner. Others call me the Splits Whisperer.
  14. Johnno

    Johnno Valued Member

    Some people call you the gangster of love, I believe.
  15. Dean Winchester

    Dean Winchester Valued Member

    I thought some people called him Maurice?
  16. Johnno

    Johnno Valued Member

    Yes, I believe that to be the case. And there are even those who call him the space cowboy.
  17. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

  18. matveimediaarts

    matveimediaarts Underappreciated genius

    What are some good ways for "hard-gainers" to put on muscle and weight? (aside from the obvious "eat more")
  19. Dean Winchester

    Dean Winchester Valued Member

    Yes but let's not be jokers anymore after all we're here to hear him speak of the pompatus of kicking.

    People in class keep talking about me, say I'm kicking all wrong but there's no worry, no worry because Van Zandt is right here at home.
  20. Obewan

    Obewan "Hillbilly Jedi"

    ^ This....

    ^And This :eek:

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