Survivors of Domestic Violence

Discussion in 'Women's Self Defence' started by KungFuGrrrl, Oct 30, 2003.

  1. KungFuGrrrl

    KungFuGrrrl Valued Member

    The magazine is KUNGFU QIGONG that my story will be in next issue. NOT Inside Kung Fu *MY BAD*
  2. Fushichou

    Fushichou New Member

    I hope you don't mind if I tell a little story of my own I know mine is not as common but it still happens I met some one at a church function we began dating and eventual got married about 6 mos into it I began to recieve verbal and mental abuse then I begant to get hit eventual it led up as yours did to a final time where I was hit over the head with a phone over and over while my friend was on the other line I was kicked and hit repeatedly I had to crawl out of the appartment to get away. I then called the police who laughed at me when I reported my situation they refused to come out and make an arrest or even talk to witnesses due to the fact I was a man in most peoples eyes men do not get abused but it does happen. As a result I ended up divorced the courts gave custody of my son to her even though I had evedence and proof of her abbusive nature I had begun to tape conversations and stuff at the end of things the courts told me because the abuse was on me it didn't count in custody cases. I later found out she had been seing another guy on the side I had been studing to be a minister and now they won't let me do to the fact I am divorced. I mainly wanted to tell this to let others know to listen to every one and don't think just because they are not a woman or a child they can't be abbused and to let any men who are being abbused know there is a better life and you don't have to put up with it no matter how much you love the person who is doing this to you get out of it and get help it doesn't change. as much as you want it to or as many times as they say they are sorry abusive nature is a chronic disease few are ever cured from my ex has been married 3 or 4 other times and they always end in less than a year due to this abuse.

    Ok for the advice part this is what I suggest.
    1st go to your local court house and apply for a D.B.A. (doing buisness as)
    2nd apply for your 501 status with the IRS I am not sure what subtitle you fall into it maybe c but I am not sure this basicly is your non-profit organaztion status.
    3rd when you have all of this you may be able to contact the goverment again and apply for grants. Apply 2 to 3 times atleast if they refuse you they don't like to give out this money but persistance is the key.
    4th you can now leagaly do fundraisers so for free volunteers and to duplicate your self contact your local unions in different factories supermarkets shipping companies etc. especialy a female dominated factory (this is due to the fact your cause is going to touch home to more people there) ask them if they will help you raise money for your organazation they will then organize fundraisers such as bake sales and can drives etc. to help you raise money
    5th publisize publisize publisize make fliers contact the paper tell your local news station make a website and publisize it this way you get members and people who can understand your cause to help you contact more places and publisize even more.

    A couple things you need to do before you start this you have to have a constitution stating purpose and general functions member conduct etc and you have to set up a board with a president a v.p. treasurur and secratary you can fill all these positions yourself to start but I highly suggest you replace these positions a.s.a.p and appoint your self simply as director or you will become so bouged down with procedures and politics you wont have time to do what you set out to do.
    well I hope this helps if you need any other advice on these areas post it or pm me

    By the way I chose the qoute in my sig due to my situation I wrote above I believe you could relate read it if you like
  3. KungFuGrrrl

    KungFuGrrrl Valued Member

    Thank you for your story. maybe you can use your esperience to help others in similar situations.

    I do have a non profit organiztion. My project is FOCUS; Friends Of Courage United Survivors. We are a project of Community Partners, they are an umbrella organization that incubates projects into bcoming np's in their own right.

    I finally have a great fundraiser coming up. We are in partner with the Gene Bua Theater (they donated theater and acting company) to host the Vagina Monologues on Feb 1 and 2nd. This will be our first big fundraiser. Also My *story* will be in print in Kung Fu Qigong Magazine in the February issue, check it out.

    Keep in touch and updated on how you are doing. Are you sure there is no way you can be a minister? taht is so sad. but there must be some way to redeem this.
    I say I am happy for what happend to me because of that I am able to touch the lives of MANY.

  4. Fushichou

    Fushichou New Member

    thank you I am not sure what I can do I would be more than happy to try I am very busy i curently am working full time and taking care of foster kids but I will try to help just let me know but be forwarned I am blunt if I can't do it I will say I cant do it not to be mean but I have to becarefull of streatching my self to much but i would like to do what i can if you do run into men who have been through abuse let thme know their not alone it happens more than one would think men are just to stubron or pridefull to admit it. I will share my story with any one it will help it goes alot deeper but I tried to stick to a readers digest version. as far as ministry there are those who will let me be as long as I am what they want. but when you teach what the bible truely says they are a little more reluctant. I do what I can on my own now and keep away from affiliation and denomination like you have said the thing that tore me down built me up to a new better person with strengths I never knew. Well just let me know what I can do to help and perhaps i can share my story more to help those who need it let me know what you need.
  5. spooky

    spooky Valued Member

    Domestic Violence

    I seen some police D.V.and I thing it is good to know the facts.surprisingly it turns out that there are more D.V. inflicted against men by women!They think the reson is that men look less macho if they report it?!
  6. Matt_Bernius

    Matt_Bernius a student and a teacher

    Bull. Straight out propiganda. While there is a higher rate of DV of women attacking men than reported for the reasons that you suggest, it's still not equal or higher.

    You can confirm this in reports such as:
    Bureau of Justice Statistics report, "Female Victims of Violent Crime," 1996

    Unless you can bring an actual govenment document, don't make such suprious claims.

    - Matt
  7. Fushichou

    Fushichou New Member

    Don't be so quick to expect a government document you speak of I don't know and don't claim to know the statistics but if other people in the government treat the cases the way mine was treated the government documentation is setting in a land fill some where with some overly obnoxious official laughing at the guy who made the report. if you didn't read my story the police officer actualy laughed at me when I tried to press charges. just something to think about.
  8. KungFuGrrrl

    KungFuGrrrl Valued Member

    ThereARE dv against men but 3 women a day DIE from this. STATE statistics. Check with your local law enforcement. I also am domestic violence peer counselor I do have the stats on my women.
  9. KungFuGrrrl

    KungFuGrrrl Valued Member

    I understand how you feel, Once when I called the cops the officer actually looked to me and said :no WONDER he beats you" so It does happen to women not all cops are supportive of women .

    Take your experience and do something to help those men. make a difference.
  10. Matt_Bernius

    Matt_Bernius a student and a teacher

    I'm really sorry about your case. And note that I didn't suggest that female perpetrated violence doesn't exist. I simply stated that any of the projections that I have seen and in the research that I have done it's still placed behind male perpetrated violence.

    Under reported or not, unless we're talking a BIG mangitude of error, it lags behind. Does that legitimize it? No. Does that make it less of an issue? No. And does that explain away the police's terrible treatment of you? Not a chance.

    But stating that we've all been fed lies and that men far more often are the victims is not true. I know you were not. But arguments like the one I was refuting are counter productive to the entire process.

    - Matt
  11. KungFuGrrrl

    KungFuGrrrl Valued Member

  12. Fushichou

    Fushichou New Member

    I don't believe d.v against men out number women and I know more women are killed than men but more men get shoved under the rug because most people don't believe it can happen you would take one look at me and say how? you could defend your self no problem but then I would have been setting in jail. D.V. is not fair to anyone no one deserves it my point is that the system is not egual in regards to men so you may not get an accurate count according to government documentation I also know women are not always documented and get pushed aside as for the pig who said you deserved it he probably beats his wife and should be setting in a cell himself. And I don't mean pig to be derogatory to all police officers just ones like those ones some of us have dealt with.

Share This Page