Suicide

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by flaming, Aug 5, 2014.

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  1. flaming

    flaming Valued Member

    I keep thinking of suicide at the moment, usually at the end of the day. Anyone have any recommendations?

    I don't want to speak to a doctor, because I think ill get sectioned again.
     
  2. Pretty In Pink

    Pretty In Pink Moved on MAP 2017 Gold Award

    Don't surround yourself with negativity. I use to listen to very suicidal music and generally find myself in bad moods because of it. Best to think of all the things you have and are grateful for in life!

    Also, see a councillor, they're the best!
     
  3. 47MartialMan

    47MartialMan Valued Member

  4. AndrewTheAndroid

    AndrewTheAndroid A hero for fun.

    I think you should go and see a doctor. The right one can help you out a lot and give you the tools you need to deal with things.

    It helps to have someone to talk to. I know, I am speaking from personal experience having dealt with my own personal demons for most of my life.

    My PM box is always open.
     
  5. Bozza Bostik

    Bozza Bostik Antichrist on Button Moon

    You won't get sanctioned. Go and see a doctor.

    In the meantime, try and stay active. Keep training, move, keep your mind occupied with other stuff. I know it's hard, really I do, but try and stay social too. Avoid the idiots and go and hang out with your mates that are solid.

    Things like meditation and yoga can help too.

    Do you have any hobbies where you really need to focus when you are doing them? Something you can really absorb yourself in? If so, do them more. I am trying to learn how to draw at the moment. I have to concentrate so much that any stress, anxiety, depression just gets pushed out.

    As Chadderz said, avoid negativity like the plague. Whether it's people, music, whatever...stop listening to death metal and play some ABBA.

    I've been through it myself and still suffer from depression now and again, but it's quite manageable. I know how to deal with it.

    A mate of mine is going through the same thing at the moment. It can happen to anyone and it happens to most of us at some point in our lives.

    You'll be ok. :)
     
  6. Johnno

    Johnno Valued Member

    Flaming, if you are finding it hard to cope then speaking to your doctor is the best place to start. They can refer you to someone specialised in that area, which will probably involve some kind of counselling. Don't assume that you will get sectioned. They would rather help you to cope on the 'outside'. Sectioning people is only done where there is real concern over their safety, or that of those around them.

    As you'll see just from the responses so far, depression and suicidal feelings are a very common thing. I don't know how much it helps to know that you are far from alone in feeling that way, but I hope you can take some encouragement from the fact that there a hell of a lot of us still kicking around who have experienced suicidal feelings at some point in our lives and have either got through it, or at least have learned to manage it.

    Another bit of good advice which a couple of people have suggested is excercise. Endorphins raise your spirits, so even if the underlying causes of your depression are stil there, at least you can give yourself a lift.

    Try and get plenty of sleep too. When I get depressed I often stay up much too late, and feel far worse the next day as a result.

    Take care of yourself, and know that you have all our best wishes.
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2014
  7. Dean Winchester

    Dean Winchester Valued Member

    Are you UK based?

    Give Samaritans a call if you are.

    http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

    You can talk in confidence and without judgement.

    If you are outside the UK you can email them.


    You say you are thinking of suicide, in what way?

    Sorry if that seems like an odd question but I'm wondering how much thought you are giving to it and if you have actually made any plans.
     
  8. Unreal Combat

    Unreal Combat Valued Member

    Go and smash a bag up down the gym for an hour after work, you'll likely feel loads better afterwards (I know I do when I have a big weight on my shoulders).

    Other than that, talk to someone about how you feel. Don't bottle it up fearful of what might be or nothing will ever be resolved about it.

    Genuinely, I wish you all the best. It's not a nice thing to go through (I've been down that path myself), so if you need an ear my inbox is open.
     
  9. Saved_in_Blood

    Saved_in_Blood Valued Member

    Do you have a family? Friends? I'm sure you must have someone. Remember when you think of that, to think of them. There would be nothing worse than to do something to yourself and leave someone who cares about you behind. We recently had a guy here who committed suicide after a fight with his Wife (had only been married 4 months). The guy had a great job that sent him all over the place meeting all of the most famous musicians, producers, etc. Always was a happy guy that was smiling. In one moment of weakness of an argument he made a bad choice. I'd be willing to bet if he had 5 more seconds to take a deep breath and think about it, he'd still be here.
     
  10. Dean Winchester

    Dean Winchester Valued Member

    It's an incredibly complex subject, certainly not black and white. Making judgements and guilt tripping someone who is experiencing these types of feelings is not a good path to go down.

    While your heart is probably in the right place in future you should hold off on the above sentiment, you don't know a person's state of mind or what they have gone through or are experiencing.
     
  11. flaming

    flaming Valued Member

    Thanks for all the replies.
     
  12. ap Oweyn

    ap Oweyn Ret. Supporter

    Actually, I think Saved raises a really good point. Suicide is a very complex subject. No question. And part of what makes it so complex is the way in which people view ending their lives. I know that, in my darker moments, I wasn't thinking about a complete cessation of everything. I was picturing how things would be afterward. People's reactions. How that ex-girlfriend would deeply regret not giving me another chance. How people would realize how valuable I was and wonder why they didn't do more to help me. That sort of thing.

    Thing is that's a future-oriented view. [Some] people contemplate suicide with a mind to how it will change people's perception. But their view is skewed. They don't think enough or realistically about the real effect it will have on loved ones. It's important that we remember our connections and really contemplate what's at stake. Not just for ourselves, but for those who care for us. If we create a "solution" for ourselves that effectively ruins the lives of those closest to us, we should think about that long and hard.

    I don't know what you have going on, Flaming. I do know that virtually everyone I've ever met has gone through times where they felt like they were willing to take any way out. I don't say that to belittle what you're experiencing. Just to normalize it. The thing is this: In many, many of those cases (the vast majority), THINGS GOT BETTER. It may have been due to the action of that person or another. It may have been simply due to the passage of time. The thing to consider is this: Only one thing completely precludes the possibility of things getting better. Ending your life.

    There are resources. I implore you to use them. Doctors, help lines, friends, whatever you've got. Because many of us have been there. And the simple fact is this: We aren't there anymore. Things got better.
     
  13. Dean Winchester

    Dean Winchester Valued Member

    This isn't really the thread to get into it but I'd just like to say that as we don't know what another person has gone through or may be experiencing then coming out with any sort of value judgement about their life is an incredibly dangerous thing to do.

    You just don't know what your words can do or how the other person will perceive them, words can be very powerful and in theses types of situations we must be very careful about how we use them.

    There are numerous ways someone can be allowed to explore their life, connections and relationships but they should all, IMO, be done in such a way as to empower and respect the person whilst being delivered without judgement.
     
  14. Saved_in_Blood

    Saved_in_Blood Valued Member

    no one here does... if we did then we would be talking directly about that issue. I am neither making judgments, nor am I attempting to guilt trip the guy in the least. I am saying that because one has friends and/or family that they have something to live for. It is indeed a fact that those you leave behind will suffer based on your actions whether it's because of taking your own life, or because you happened to be driving to fast or anything else.
     
  15. Dean Winchester

    Dean Winchester Valued Member

    How do you know someone has friends or family?

    You are making a judgements such as "I'm sure you must have someone", there are many people out there who have nobody and yet here you are saying something like that, how do you know what has led a person to these feelings? Perhaps it is the isolation they are going through, the feelings of no support etc and yet here you are going "I'm sure you must have someone".

    To top it off you then say "There would be nothing worse than to do something to yourself and leave someone who cares about you behind". Yet you think that could not be seen as laying guilt on someone?

    All I am asking is that in future you think before you speak because while you may intend to help you could do far worse than if you just listened and let them talk.

    The moment you base these things on your life, your friends lives or what you think someone's life should consist of then you are automatically working from a position of prejudice and giving the impression of "well this is how it should be".

    What if that's not how it is? What if the person you've unloaded this on has nobody or they are estranged from their loved ones and this has been the very reason that they have suicidal ideation?

    Think! Because you don't know at the end of the day.
     
  16. Simon

    Simon Administrator Admin Supporter MAP 2017 Koyo Award

    Flaming,

    Despite what advice we may offer, it is only the advice of friends and those who care from the other side of a keyboard.

    The professional point of view will come from doctors and people such as the Samaritans (the Samaritans would be my recommendation), so please make use of them.

    Sometimes just talking can help, so feel free to just rant away here.

    This is your thread, so I'm giving you the chance to control the content. If you see something you don't like, just send me a PM and it'll be removed.

    I'm not suggesting anything so far should go, but in this case you're the one in control and the content shown here is yours to do with as you see fit.

    I wish you well.

    Simon.
     
  17. ap Oweyn

    ap Oweyn Ret. Supporter

    Easy, Dean. Every scrap of advice is predicated on an assumption. And Saved wasn't the first to issue advice. If this were a formal counseling situation, advice in general would be a no-no at this stage. Listening would be the only order of the day.

    Us turning on one another for well-intentioned efforts to say something helpful helps nobody at all. So what say we all ease up and give one another the benefit of the doubt. Unless Flaming expresses misgivings about what's been said, Saved's input is no worse than anyone else's.

    Flaming, take heart that this many people feel this strongly about helping you.
     
  18. Dean Winchester

    Dean Winchester Valued Member

    My post was nowhere near as aggressive as you are making out, selective quoting and all, please read what I have written.

    Save's input was far worse than everyone else's, if you don't get why then there's not much to say, however I suggest you look at what exactly was posted and my response to it, you should see his post differs significantly to everyone else's.



    Flamming,

    My apologies.

    I can't offer advice per se beyond do talk to someone. The various organisations mentioned on here are there to help. When you feel ready there are people who will listen.

    I hope you get the support you want and get through this difficult time.
     
  19. ap Oweyn

    ap Oweyn Ret. Supporter

    Dean, I don't know what to tell you here. Suicide prevention isn't my specialty within counseling. But neither have I just fallen off the turnip truck. I've been involved in this issue both through personal experience and clinical training. I don't see that Saved was out of line.

    We're not helping anyone here. I've said my peace.

    Flaming, we all agree, at least, that you should really get as much help as you can access. From people better trained than we are. People whose only relationship to you is as counselor. It's that specific relationship that's going to help you more than even the most well-intentioned pal.
     
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2014
  20. Niinpo

    Niinpo 万変不驚 Banpen Fugyo

    Flaming,

    I just read this, thank you for sharing how you feel.

    The general advice would I think be seek help from a professional, which I am not.

    But please remember it always gets better and there is so much to live for. The tough times make the good times better.

    Fair weather never made a good sailor.

    So hang on in there and I am sure you will be pleasantly surprised how well it turns out.

    Feel free to PM me just for a chat anytime, I don't know much but will be glad to listen.

    Jake
     
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