Stupid things you've said...

I came home from primary school and told my mum we were collecting foil bottle tops for "Blind Dogs for the Guides".

 

classic!!!

 

One Chinese New Year I was kicking back relaxing whilst my kung fu mates were doing the lion dance when some kid behind me said to his brother “Look at the dragon”. His brother smacked him across the head and said “It’s not a dragon… it’s a snake…”

Honestly, a snake...

 

I once congratulated a fat girl and asked her when the baby was due.

Damn that was awkward.

 

LMAO! My mum did that to our neighbour, I told her not to but she's so stubborn she did.

 

BWAHAHAHA!
I don't generally say stupid things, I've got a pretty good grip on my mouth. I called my dad a very bad word in church once (quite loudly at my cousin's wedding), but he had it coming

 

I have a habit of making words up when I can't remember what the correct one is I called an airport a plain station once, much to the dismay of my then boyfreind.

I also try to say two words at once I think the latest one I came out with was grilliant as chimp can verify.

Then there was the whole, "Mum, do I need a passport to get to ireland?" conversation. I'm still not happy with the explanation.

 

What a breat story Sam.

I once said "M-goy" to my grandmother who gave me some money instead of "Daw che". Maaaan, that was embarassing...

 

I once called a lady 'Mister' whilst purchasing bread. But it was abroad and I was speaking all-foreign-like, so that excuses it slightly. But only very slightly.

And one that maybe wasn't VERY stupid, but which was definately highly embarrassing: the first time I went to a mate's house, I looked at a passport-type photo on the mantelpiece, and asked him if it was his Dad. He explained that it was his Mum.

 

I did that, but to a lady who was complaining about her steak when I was Ast manager at my old restaurant, needless to say she got her a refund.
In my defence all the rest of the team thought she was a dude too.

 

I once went to a mate's house and he had a drawing he'd done framed on the wall. I said "Great drawing! Is it your girlfriend?" - turns out it was Bob Marley...

 

Did his girlfriend have a beard?

 

Unfortunately (or fortunately for him) she was a white female with no distinguishing facial hair!

(Oh Crikey: edited to remove potential racist connotations. I didn't mean fortunately for him she was white. I meant unfortunately, since the drawing was meant to be of a black man and fortunately she didn't have a beard)

 

I was in a pub staring at some awesome girl who was just awesome, unfortunately, her bruiser of a boyfriend saw me and said “Are you looking at my bird?”, to which I replied “What? That skanky ho over there” pointing at the awesome girl…*


*Note: May not have actually happened. Consult your doctor or pharmacist if symptoms persist.

 

So her facial hair was non-distinguishing?

So you are saying that it was unfortunate for him that he was going out with a white lass, because he had a mate like you who would confuse her picture with that of a black man?

Amazing lack of foresight on his part!

 

How about "The way you drive has got me a nervous bag." bag of nerves perhaps.?

On of the boys touch to newly shaven head of another and made the fatal mistake of saying "That feeLs like my girlfriends bum!!"
Everyone else felt it AND AGREED.


koyo

 

I got one I got one!!!!


My bf was checking the oil in my car on Sunday.

BF -"Your car isn't using any oil"
Me- "Well, why does it need it then,is it there just in case?"

BF "Just in case what????"

Therefore demonstrating my complete lack of automative knowledge.

 

That made me chuckle!

 

Lol!


It just made my bf nervous!!

 

I've got a cracker from the other night. Though I really shouldn't admit this


Me - "Where's Amsterdam?" <----(this was bad enough)
Housemate - "Where do you think it is???"
Me - "....Scotland?"
Housemate - "You seriously think amsterdam is in Scotland!!?"
Me - "...well, I know it snows in that country..."
Housemate - "So you think Amsterdam is a COUNTRY within Scotland????"
Me - "...it's not then??"


:love: