Sparring A Girl

Idiotic comments being the ones you don't like? Look this has already been more or less done to death, but hey, I'm banding on this wagon. Or, re-banding, 'cos, you know, I already mouthed off in this thread.

Right so, anyway, the points I was wanting to get at, firstly, if you think you can't learn as much by teaching something and being the senior sparring partner I think you're outright wrong, it should help you develop your understanding of what you're practicing, let you think about why you're doing what you're doing. You should also have a chance to try and focus on getting your technique spot on. You give the impression that you expect a somewhat authoritarian and paternalistic approach from your coach, in that you seem to want him to be the one dictating what you do and when, without trying to really engage in why you're doing it or to develop an independent understanding of it. You also seem to have missed the fact that everyone else in the class has every bit as much right as you to learn, and that though you may like sparring with the coach, there's only one of him, and the rest of the class need a chance to work with him too (I'm going to assume your response to this will be that you never said you want to spar with him all the time, and just clarify that you heavily implied it). If you feel this way about sparring with a girl then regardless of your selfless martyrdom in continuing for the good of the team, that resentment WILL affect how you spar and her training could suffer as a result. This is why, although you have stated that you won't change, we're trying to convince you to. Perhaps we're being quite aggressive about it, but hey, you seem stubborn, and hopefully if we make an impression then once you stop being annoyed you'll actually think about it. Which might improve the standard of sparring offered to someone who's only crime is having breasts.

On a personal note, I think you're an unreconstructed misogynist. However that's your right and you're spot on, we can't make you apologise. We can however explain exactly why we think you're being a bit of a tool, 'cos that's our right.

 

Treat the girl like a lighter male opponent, assuming she is a lot lighter than you, and since shes a beginner then treat exactly like that.

Controlling your power is the key to this.

Sorry not read the whole thread so i dunno if this is being meantioned but after getting to bottom of the first page i just guessed it was at least 5 pages of similar

 

If you had just said that you had difficulty hitting women, then that would have been a different matter. Something to overcome, but more a product of
societal conditioning than being your 'fault'. However this:

Is not a comment about the difficulty has sparring a woman. It's claiming that in your opinion they shouldn't do combat sports at all, and that the reason for this is because it is "unattractive". Can you see now why so many people respond so vehemently, particularly the female martial artists of the board?

 

This OP is full of so much crap I feel the need to go grab some bleach.

 

I don't understand why people are question why I am listening to my coach. He is a coach, he gives feedback. That is what a coach does. Why bother having a coach, if you are not going to accept feedback.
Don't any of you have a coach? Do you not listen to the instructions provided?
I will be honest with you. Once I am done competing, I am going to go for a coaching certification, and I will tell you right now, if any of my students take some of the attitudes a I am seeing here, you will not get diddly-squat from me. Go coach yourself.

 

Huh, I can only think of one association between bleach and crap. I'm sure it looks lovely!

 

Why are you now trying to detract from your original intent for the thread?

The issue, going on why you started this, is your attitudes towards women not the teacher student relationship.

But hey carry on trying to make out everyone else is at fault in someway if it makes you feel better.

 

I think you're confusing the right to express your opinion with the right to have everyone (or anyone) accept your opinion. They aren't the same thing. Nobody has hampered your right to an opinion. But built into that right is the understanding that expressing an opinion brings a reaction. It also brings no guarantee that you're going to LIKE that reaction.

That's the nature of public discourse.

 

Your coaches word isn't law. If you honestly follow every single thing your coach does without one single question, not even a question asking why he said that, then I'm sorry, you sound really really naive.

I do follow them, within reason. I still listen, but I won't follow them if I don't like it, or I'll quietly do the exercise, and ask the coach why at an appropriate time.

I wish you the best of luck.

If by attitude you mean real life, realistic critical thinking.....

 

Ok I'm going to bed, can ya'll stop posting so my inbox doesn't get spammed in the night? ok tx.

 

Yeah I follow them, but I question them too, because I want to know what their thinking is. I'm not interested in rote learning something, I want to understand it, and you don't come to understand something by taking everything you're told at surface value. Anyway that's beside the point, the reason it's being mentioned is because you brought it up while trying to explain your original position, which is what really bothered people.

 

Well from your attitude displayed here you aren't going to coach women anyway, so I'll save my time and avoid you and your all-boys discriminatory club you will set up.

 

The seeing women in combat sports as unattractive is an opinion that is sexist. What about seeing women in combat sports as attractive? Isn't that equally an opinion that is sexist? I married a woman I met in martial arts, how could I not find martial artist's sexy? I'm equally guilty of being sexist for different reasons, but equally sexist.

Or what about the founders of many martial arts. They could train all day and the wife was expected to stay at home, cook, and care for the kids. Were not then many of the great martial artists also sexist? How quick are we to point the finger?

How many out there are this way? How many out there are this way but afraid to say it? I say guilty as charged for many of us.

On the other hand, this isn't about changing the world in a day. Everything has to start somewhere. Just common decency tells me that the words put forth by the OP are hurtful and disrespectful.

Even sexist people in history knew enough of life to respect others, common decency. There is no reason to be hurtful and disrespectful to women or men (unless they obviously deserve it in kind).

As was said already, what paulbrec stated was hurtful and disrespectful to others. It isn't about changing his opinions, to me it is about professionalism and common decency.

What does the OP (paulbrec) have to say about that?

I suggest using cold water to help remove the smell.

And bring enough for me too. You probably have forgotten about the six-inch heels and short skirt jokes... I know I'm full of it too.

 

Oh yes it's not sexist to find women in combat sports unattractive, but to use that a justification for why they shouldn't participate in them? Sure it's just an opinion, but mostly, facts are just a bunch of opinions that loosely agree. It's sexist to state that women shouldn't do something, and to give as reason that it's unattractive is sexist because of the implication that a woman is obliged to try and be attractive to men. They may want to, many do, a fact for which I'm very grateful, but there's no obligation.

Ahh, wait, sorry, read more, thought you were playing devils advocate and started to compose!

 

It's not sexist if you privately, inside your own head, dislike seeing women fight.

It is sexist to try and push the idea that they shouldn't.

 

Hi everyone,

This is Michael Moore. I'm making a film about this thread. I'm calling it, "Annoyingly Liberal Martial Artists Team Up Against Sensible Yet Harmless Moderate Conservative".

 

This thread puts a smile on my face,The first and one of the few girls i ever sparred with was awesome, man she showed me a thing or two, lol.Turns out , she was married to one of the muay tai instuctors. The truth is women are more likely to be assaulted in the street by men than other woman.most likely the reason for most women to train ma would be for self defence.In my oppinion a women should never be denied the opportunity to train all out with men, the more realistic the training the better.