I'm with Llama on this one. I'm currently reading Watch my Back by Geoff Thompson, and I'd love to back you up, but...........
A sexy blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Oh doctor, it's awful, every time I hear a Jim Carrey quote, I get so horny that I rip my clothes off and jump the nearest thing to me!" Doctor replies, "Re-he-eeeeallllllllly?"
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blonde woman. 3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde gal with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler."Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?" The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,"No... not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
My wife has packed her bags and gone because of my pasta touching fetish. I'm feeling canneloni right now
My wife said she was leaving me due to my obsession with The Monkees. I thought she was joking, then I saw her face.
I set up a speech therapy business, which unfortunately failed. I think it was because I relied on word of mouth.
Can I post a limeric that's been cracking me up for a while now? This is best read out loud with a slightly louder emphasis on the last word of each line and a small dramatic pause before the next line starts. There was a young lady called Tuck, Who had the most terrible luck. She went out in a punt, Fell over the front, And got bit on the leg by a duck.
