Really need YOUR help!

I'm really, really at a loss at the moment. I don't know what to do. So I'm asking you guys for help.

This morning my dad suddenly fell really, really ill. He's been in bed the whole day and he won't get up. *sob* He has really bad pains in his chest and I don't know what to do. I'm worried he's dying, but he doesn't want me to call a doctor. I know it's because of his smoking. He smokes a lot and I've bugged him about it all my life because I know its going to kill him but he makes me so angry because he won't stop, and the two occasions he's tried to stop, he always goes back to it. And... he's a pretty old guy too. Well, not OLD old, but I mean, he and my late mother had me pretty late on in life, and he's 54 now and quite a bit overweight (though not obese), along with the smoking...

*sob* And I don't know what to do at all. There's no one else in the house, only me and him. I have no siblings, and my mother as I said, died when I was 2 years old. Our closest family, my aunts and my first cousins, well, we hardly ever talk to them or have contact with them, and they don't live that close to us anyways. And... because I have virtually no friends, I have no one to turn to for help. The friends I do have won't be of much help, I suspect. I have a couple of good friends like Katie and Loren, but they're at school/college, soon to be leaving on holiday, and they're even younger than me so I don't see how they could help me. My only grown up friends, people who would know what to do in these kinds of situations, and from my TKD club, but I don't have that much contact with them outside of class and I don't believe they're close enough that they'd actually be willing help me. And I know I'm supposed to be 18 and grown up and everything... but I have no idea. I've never been on my own before. I've never had to look after anyone. My dad has always been the one looking after me. I don't knwo how to survive in the world on my own. I don't know how to cook or change a light blub or use a washing machine... much less know anything whatsoever about medicine or how to treat a very sick person. And I'm having difficulty enough at the moment because... well, to be perfectly honest, I suffer from excruciating cramps which leave me in such agony that I hardly feel fit to care for someone else.

I'm just really upset right now, and I'm not sure how I'm holding it together enough to write this. I was really hoping that the MAPers could come to my rescue and give me some solid, sound advice, because other than you guys, I have no one at all to help me.

:cry: :cry: :cry:

Xue Fang

 

call what ever emergency services you have in the area and get him to the hospital.

If is is a heart attack, then doctors are you best bet. Try giving him a small dose of aspirin as well.

 

in GB ther is no reason one should not get emergancy services. In the US he "might" have a case that he can not afford the ambulance ond hospital.. not where you are....

call the ambulance... NOW

 

A good rule to have: If you fear for his life, get the ambulance immediately. If it's less urgent then call NHS direct immediately.

Don't wait... ever.

I wish you all the best with this

 

I'm almost certain he isn't having a heart attack... the pain isn't shooting pain and he has no pains along his left arm. I'm theorising (due to the fact that he's a smoker and has never had heart problems before) that the problem may be with the lungs and not the heart. I don't believe he's in an urgent emergency situation, but I'm still worried he's very sick. Should I disregard his wishes and call the doctor?

And thanks to Aegis... I had completely forgotten about that new NHS Direct thing. I filled in their online form and am going to try their hotline now.

EDIT: He says he absolutely does not want me to call the doctor or the NHS Direct helpline. Should I do it anyway?

 

Yes, disregard his wishes. His life is more important that him being stubborn. See how you get on with the hotline and do what they tell you. You can't really rely on a load of non-doctor people at MAP for medical advice.

 

yep.. seconded
if he is too pig-headed to take of himself for your sake much less his own
the responsability lies squarly on your shoulders to suck it up and be the adult

 

by calling NHS direct, you won't be technically be going against his wishes, you'll be put through to a nurse who will be able to offer you the best advice based on your description of his symptoms and put you through to more detailed advice or in touch with an on-call doctor who will be able to come to you if neccesary.

i've used them a few times when family members have been taken ill and they provide a fantastic service, they would rather you call than you didn't.

 

Well... thank you for all your help.

I called the NHS Direct thingy hoping to get some simple advice on what I could do. I described the symptoms, but even though I didn't think it was serious, they said they had to connect me to the emergency services and send an ambulance. So then I spoke to the emergency services people and I tried to explain I didn't think it was immediately urgent though I was still worried and would like advice on what I could do... but they decided that they wanted to send an ambulance anyway...

Really fast and efficient response, by the way. I was impressed, considering all the stories you hear about having to wait half and hour for an ambulance. My dad was quite angry, but the three ambulance ladies were really understanding and helpful and insisted upon checking him out even though he wasn't in immediate danger. He didn't do too well when they did their tests with all their equipment and everything. I mean, it was nothing serious, but they didn't like his overweightness or his smoking and when they did the blood pressure test on him it was pretty high. Given his symptoms over the past few days, they did want to take him down to the hospital to have him checked out and all... but of course they can't force you to, and my father refused. They made him promise to go and our local GP on Monday though, because they say he's definitely not in perfect health and there is something they strongly believe should be checked out... and I believe he'll keep that promise despite how much he hates hospitals and doctors and all that.

I feel bad that the ambulances came when there was no absolute immediate danger... but I feel a lot better now that people who know what they're talking about have checked him out and given their professional opinion. I didn't like getting the ambulances out here and all, but I would have been very worried and not knowing what to do at all if I hadn't called the NHS Direct hotline.

Thanks all you guys who replied as well. I was having a real crisis and you guys came through for me. . Especially Aegis. He should be up for an award next time they do the MAP annual awards. Next time we meet up, probably at next year's MAP South of England Meet, I am owing you one big drink!

 

Call them

 

glad to hear everything is "ok"
good for you for doing what you felt was right
your father will come to respect that.. even if he disagrees with your judgement

 

Oh yeah uh... sorry for creating such a short lived topic and all... I guess the mods can close it now. Aegis or wry or someone...

 

Your wish is my command.

Glad you called, sometimes heartattacks don't have the classic symptoms and better to know then to have it keep going without knowing. Just make sure to ride your father to go the doc's on Monday. Hope he feels better soon.