Rape

And I got punched once because I didn't instantly smack the guy who was mouthing off at me. Luckily he was also a weakling who I could fight off.

Like your situation, it was a result of poor pre-fight control and awareness, a couple of years later and same scenario happened.... guess what, I didn't whack him... and he calmed down and backed off.

 

In bdsm it's called consensual-non-consensual (CNC), obviously the consensual bit, you agree to something, the non-consensual bit is more open to interpretation, more at the darker side of the scene though a lot of people are into it. I should add it's not my thing. I'm over doing scary daffodil:Angel:

 

{hypocritical crap deleted]

And mouthing off is not the same as physically violating someone's boundaries...I'm not saying you should use violence on someone for being VERBALLY DISRESPECTFUL. Only if they try and physically violate you when you have said no.

 

All really valid points about the problems of drawing weapons in SD. But you have to remember when the topic is "Self Defence from Rape" 99% of the time we are not talking about an armed attacker ambushing women in a car-park.

Chances are that if a women is about to be raped there is a period before where she knows it could be coming and "may" have time to draw a weapon.

 

It seems strange to me that so many people here are concerned that a woman might overreact to a potential rapist by not giving the appropriate warnings. How often is this even an issue? I'm confident the incidence of sexual crimes against women are far higher than the incidence of women over-reacting unnecessarily in fear of them are. Women tend to be less enthusiastic about using violence as a solution than men, so generally when they do it's quite necessary. People need to remember that these sexual crimes against women are a huge social problem, and worrying about women offering the necessary warnings seems silly. Women are targeted because they are vulnerable, just like how children are targeted. Is it really such a concern that the most vulnerable members of society, who are often seen as easy victims, might abuse their self-defense privileges and just casually tazer everyone?

It's quite common I'm afraid. In fact, it's so common that universities have historically discouraged women from reporting sexual crimes committed against them for fear of the PR fallout. Administrators don't want enrollment to drop (more young women attend college than men) because of the perception of an unsafe campus. It's common knowledge now how frequently campus rapes occur though.

And yes, with some young university-aged men, sexually objectifying women is considered normal. Generally speaking though, anyone with a college education is considered less likely to commit a violent crime (sexual crimes are violent in nature). This is why many police forces now require a four-year degree in any subject before they hire a new police officer. Studies have found college-educated officers are much less likely to receive complaints for unnecessary use of force. Unfortunately, there are still some sub-cultures on campuses where rape isn't taken seriously enough. For instance, some fraternities have become notorious for committing date rape. Because of the numerous problems created by this Greek system, many universities have abolished fraternities and sororities.

Dealing with young, college-aged males from a security standpoint, I've seen a culture that considers it appropriate to publicly grope a female in a nightclub. It's a very common occurrence that any server in an establishment that offers alcohol has had to deal with several times. If I had to place a guess, I'd say in many clubs/bars 50% of the young, male patrons feel it's an acceptable course of action. Many of these young men are college students.

 

A small knife like that going to require some degree of accuracy to inflict stopping damage to an attacker, now as someone who gets adrenal dumps so bad they cannot type from reading blog posts, do you think in a life or death rape scenario your going to have to have the motor skills to take it our of your pocket (combat jacket, the ones with the poppered down flaps over the pocket right?), unfold it and use it with effect to stop and adult male without just angering him/dropping it/being disarmed?

How much have you trained with it?

I spoke to a close family friend wo works as a SOCO and he told me most home invasion related deaths are of caused by the homeowners weapon being turned on them.

I say this out of concern for your wellbeing not to put you down, also I'd hate to see a cheeky but decent single dude getting slashed up.


My reason for never carrying a weapon is I haven't a clue how to use them I do however train daily to punch people in the mouth or twist limbs about so I consider myself safer without.

Lefty, I see what you mean about it being too simplistic but safe than sorry does apply too.
When your drunk smaller expressions and body language are harder to read too, I've seen dudes trying to chat girls up who clearly are repulsed by them (not being mean though and listening to the same tired lines lol) looking for a way to let them down gently. Now it's obvious to see the more extreme version of this scenario.

Something I pinched from a book about convincing women to participate in BJJ in bed is after the initial ice is broken put a hand in a non threatening way on their upper arm or mid back and see how they react, obvious stuff like pulling away and tensing up are a no, watching their eyebrows and the corner of their mouth can also give away 'microexpresions' that indicate you chances. Saves a lot of time wasted and drinks unnesisarily bought. Now when

(book was 'the chase' or similar, read a few of them when I was on a rebound, it's like a horny mans Darren brown, thoroughly recommend it to any bloke, certainly makes your approach less threatening)

 

Black and white is right. Most rapists have low IQs. I can't see your average rapist being so biomechanically thorough that he could immobilize me with ONE arm. He'd have to be very big and very good at that hold. I'm hypermobile. I used to give trained people a lot of annoyance with that.

 

But that's not what I'm saying at all.

From what I gather from the SD experts here:

The pre-fight phase is a super-important phase, when used correctly its an awesome opportunity to completely escape a threat and/or position yourself so that if it does kick off you are ready for it and will spot it coming.

The problem with this phase, is that if you don't use it correctly you can end up escalating the fight, shutting off your escape route and putting yourself in a prime spot for a sucker punch which you wont see coming.

It can be a tricky skill to master, and few MAist pay much attention to it -let alone acknowledge that it exists- but the answer to this moment is not to just panic and attack the second you feel threatened.

You obviously are very aware of the danger that you can find yourself in, but the response of "Tazer anyone and everyone who crosses your line" isn't the answer. This what animals do when their scared, lash out at anything that comes close to being intimidating. I'm guessing you want to be smarter than that and would aspire to a more effective strategy.

Not every un-thinking buffoon who invades your personal space when you say "no" needs to be tazered in order to get the message. And not every angry chav needs to have his face re-arranged before he'll walk away.

...even though sometimes in can feel extremely satisfying.

 

I as going to return and elaborate, but this is close to what i was thinking

 

Okay everyone, gimme a few to type responses...

I am, yes, very big on being aware in the first place. That's much of the reason I simply don't go to social events because avoiding douchebags in the first place is better than dealing with them in the moment. I suspect it's also part of the reason I simply chose to be single for life. It's not one of the main reasons, but it's there in the background. My 80kg, mesomorph female friend was held down and raped once by a boyfriend she trusted and who was outwardly an upstanding citizen. That's not rare either, most rapes are committed by someone you know and trust as others pointed out. So being socially intelligent, which she is, is not a defence...being with someone you trust isn't a defence...and even being 80kg is not a defence. Hell no, not for me.

I'm not saying 'taser anyone who gives you any issues'. I'm saying that if you have already SAID NO to some sexual interaction and the guy responds by continuing to physically violate boundaries...hell yeah, taser him (lol, screw Irish law for not letting me have one...I don't need to overcome a massive morphological difference to discharge a C2 into some douchemoraine who doesn't recognize 'No'...). Because if he doesn't respect 'No' and 'I said no, now stop' etc...why should you believe he's going to respect the next level of 'no'??

 

It's a good read, based on some actually pretty sound psychology.
Also as a factoid: it's were the term 'wing man' was coined.

Certainly agree with your top point. As to your second whatever makes your mate happy, but the lady is quite right, I was involved in many alterations with people copping a feel of my ex (when she wasn't yet an ex obvs) some clubs are def worse than others (like the one I mentioned earlier)


EDIT: forgot to quote southpaw

 

Thank you!!!!! That's what I've been trying to say. Why is the onus on 5'7" tall, 54kg/118 pound me, to give a large adult male multiple warnings? Seriously?

 

Males would never know a woman's position until he is in her shoes, then he would really trip over himself.

 

Living a life in fear isn't living. ANYONE can be raped you are never bullet-proof. You could be a 110 Kilo Special Forces Deadly Combat Cage Fighting Warrior (man or woman) in the peak of fitness and you would still be liable to getting drugged at a party and date raped.

Sorry that's life, you can be as cautious as you like then get on a tube-train and a bomb goes of, climb in a plane and have it crash and burst into flames. Trust a loved one and have them cheat on you. The world doesn't come risk free. No need to let that hold you back in life. Just a thought.

While we are at it, the civilized world requires the onus to be on you if you are going to attack someone with a weapon. Sure, that person invaded your space and ignored your initial warning and that warrants some level of response but I doubt that response is a stabbing.

 

I'm okay with taking most risks. Not rape. Impact injuries, dislocations etc are all fine, but not rape. And where did I say I would attack or stab anyone? Seriously?