rape prevention, i could be wrong

Discussion in 'Women's Self Defence' started by brahman, Jan 6, 2006.

  1. KickChick

    KickChick Valued Member

    That is what some rape prevention programs terms as "Passive Resistance" ...
    The goal of passive resistance is to try and think and talk your way out of a possible rape.

    With passive resistance, you can:

    * Try to calm the attacker. Try to persuade him not to carry out the attack.

    * Claim to be sick or pregnant. Tell him you have a sexually transmitted disease. This may intimidate the attacker.

    * Try to discourage him. Pretend to faint, cry hysterically, act insane or mentally incapacitated (a better choice of word ;) )

    * If you're at home, telling the attacker a friend is coming over or that your spouse or roommate will be back soon.

    Whether you choose to use passive or active resistance, the best resistance you can learn to use against an attacker is your common sense.
  2. tellner

    tellner Valued Member

    It works once in a while against criminals by providing a pattern break. But it's a lousy strategy to bet on. About 20 years of research have pretty conclusively shown that passive resistance does not measurably reduce and may actually increase the completed rate of sexual assault. I could go into the reasons why it's a bad idea and how the instructor may have been projecting, but I need to get to work in a few minutes. Suffice it to say that one good punch will put the kibosh to this and in any case anything that teaches women to act helpless and infantilized is just plain stupid in a self defense situation.
  3. tellner

    tellner Valued Member

    That's way out of line. Would you care to engage your brain before opening your mouth and apologize for the remark?
  4. Developing

    Developing Valued Member

    I think you have some good points here. Several things hit really close to home. As I have been training for just over 5 years now and am just starting to feel like I can really apply my techniques effectively, that is to say without thinking I'm starting to flow. :eek:
    And then I think about all the females who have come into our class over the years. Many have come, some have stayed longer than others but no one has really stayed. Even the ones who were very enthusiastic in the begginnig coming three or four times per week. There was one female student who started before me who use to throw me all over the place in a real time scenario (I study jiu jitsu but my teacher also has a black belt in judo) and I'm not a little guy. But alas even she has disapeared. So I agree there is a certain amount of time that is needed to really learn how to fend off an attacker no matter what art you study for a woman or a man. And as you pointed out these female self defense courses/seminars have to achieve certain results in a limmited amount of time which is different than a regular martial arts class in time and depth that is why your suggestion that they follow such courses with a regular teacher is a good one.
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2006
  5. Developing

    Developing Valued Member

    This thread reminded me of one one that I read a while ago on MAP about woman successfully defending herself against an attacker.


    Hopefully I did that correctly and you can read an actual news account of a woman fending of a pontential rapist using BJJ I think largely due to the way in which she was attacked being seated in her car she never had chance to be on her feet. But whatever techniques she used from whatever system is not important, the important thing is she was trained well, she trained hard and she applied what she learned the goal of any martial artist.
  6. Jesh

    Jesh Dutch Side Of The Force

    Dude, you ARE aware that some of the mods are women right ???
  7. TheCount

    TheCount Happiness is a mindset

    I am rarely annoyed, let alone angered, but I have to say I am frankly disgusted by this post, I can't actually believe you have receeeded to such a low level of crudity...

    And yes, what you say is true to an extent, but incase you forgot naturally men are built a lot heavier and stronger than woman, when they pin/restrain you for good you are trapped. This is the main problem with rape defence, in the end we are all vulnerable but woman more so (unless they are Lenda Murray). Struggle free and leg it fast
  8. Melanie

    Melanie Bend the rules somewhat.. Supporter

    I can see that uki DID use a smiley winking - so I appreciate it is meant as a joke - but maybe a little too tactless. This is a serious matter and I understand that this may be very upsetting - as a woman I have an opinion on this matter myself - as Moderator - I have to remain impartial. Even so, I don't appreciate the thoughtless and deeming remark either. Either way I think that it was meant as something harmless.
  9. Hoimun

    Hoimun Banned Banned

    womens self defense

    The best way to prevent a raping is to do a cosmopolitan photo sessions shoot about 4 years ago. (2002)

    Actually, the best way to avoid this situation is to study a martial art and stay away from drugs, alchohol, bad situations, and dark alleys while your alone late at night.

    The best womens self defense would probobly be cardio fittness boxing classes where they teach the punch/kick basics and groin striking.
  10. tellner

    tellner Valued Member

    What the aitch ee double hockey-sticks? In case you were raised in a bell jar and only recently released into the wild, that's pretty out of date advice. Almost all rapists already know their victims. The two most common crime sites - by far - are the victim's home and the perp's home. Dark alleys don't even vaguely come into the picture. It's certainly true that alcohol and other drugs can have a bad effect on judgement, but rapes happen because of the rapist, not because the victim was a bad girl.

    Nope. As has been discussed many times here, a standard martial arts program has many benefits. Short- to medium-term women's self defense isn't one of them. Cardio kickboxing doesn't even prepare you psychologically for the ring, let alone for a friend turning werewolf on you and trying to forcibly stick his penis into you. And every man alive is lightning fast against the classic kick to the goolies. Millions of years of evolution - and the fact that they have access to the same folklore that you do - guarantees it.

    I know you mean well. You really should get some more up-to-date information.
  11. migo

    migo New Member

    And it wasn't bad advice (in fact, I'd say it's good advice, even if it's obvious to most people), so it's not terribly useful to get upset about something that is just somewhat crude. I don't see PC attitudes being hugely useful in a self defense context.
  12. KickChick

    KickChick Valued Member

    I personally didn't see it as a "pc attitude" rather than a tactless and thoughtless comment.

    Considering the amount of reports and pms I received on this.... I certainly was not alone in thinking so.
  13. migo

    migo New Member

    The people getting really upset about it are being driven by PC attitudes.
  14. tellner

    tellner Valued Member

    No. We're driven by disgust for nasty, backwards demeaning remarks, especially in a place dedicated to women's self defense. If that's "PC" then hooray. I'm PC.
  15. Melanie

    Melanie Bend the rules somewhat.. Supporter

    Is it ok if we move on from the remark now peeps - the matter has been dealt with by the upper echelons of the forums and I would rather see this thread turn back on track. I would rather not see one persons remark ruin a perfectly good thread. Many thanks :)
  16. brahman

    brahman Banned Banned


    end of story. period, no more remarks, ladys if you dont agree then your wrong and guys if you dont agree then your wrong as well. period(note this period is not the spelling of a physical period indicating the end of a sentence, it is a philosophical period ending the discussion because it is the definitive answer)
  17. Melanie

    Melanie Bend the rules somewhat.. Supporter

    Seems a little narrow minded there brahman.

    I have managed without all three and I am still here. You're entitled to your opinion but you cannot force it on others...
  18. NaughtyKnight

    NaughtyKnight Has yellow fever!

    I was at a house party a few weeks ago. A female friend of mine was getting hit on by some guy who she obviously did not like. He convinced her to "go for a walk", which is a classic tactic us guys use to hook up. She didnt get the hint and thought he just wanted to "talk".

    This guy looked dodgy to me. I hadnt ever met him before, he was a friend of the host. I decided I'd follow them just to make sure she was alright.

    Well they sat down up the road and started talking. I lit a smoke and talked to a chick while keeping my eye on them.

    Sure enough, 5 mins later he was making an attempt to kiss her. She turned away and he grabbed her head. I put out my smoke and ran over, about to teach this guy some ultraviolence.

    Before I got 3 steps my friend eye gouged him, got up and kicked him in the nuts.

    I find most girls are more than capable to defend themselves from getting forced into something.

    Defending yourself from a guy that is forcing himself on you is the same for a guy or a girl (regardless if the motivation is sex or injuring you). Go for a vital target, hit and keep hitting. Remember, guys have a very vital target that you should capitalise on. I dont usually advocate going for the family jewls, but rapists dont deserve any consideration at all. Kick hard and he will drop, its not hard to rupture the testicals. Even a little shot hurts like hell.

    Rape is rarely about sex. Its mostly about demeaning the woman and using sex as the tool. Take simple precautions like having a group of friends looking out for eachother, or perhaps go out with a group of guys how can keep an eye on you and your gfs while your having fun. Keep an eye on your drink. Up on schoolies I made it my task to look after a group of girls that befriended us. We stopped several attempts at guys trying to spike their drinks. Keep your hand over your drink when talking to a guy, and dont leave your drink alone.

    If you find yourself in a postion you cant get out of. Your alone etc, then pretend your playing along. Offer him felatio and bite down hard while punching him in the nuts. Down for the count. THEN RUN. Go find a friend/policemen/bouncer etc.

    Also Brahman. You obviously dont know what your talking about. You can only end an argument if you have proven your point. Talking crap doesnt prove a point. Many girls I've known have gotten themselves out of nasty situations without the need for a dog, mace or a "big loud thing".
  19. KickChick

    KickChick Valued Member

    Thanks for sharing that NK

    Every situation that a female may find herself in IS different and as such may have to be dealt with in a different manner.

    That scenario is entirely different than being approached by an individual who you do not know while walking to your car at night or walking to your apartment door.

    And thanks Mel for your reply to brahman :)

    ditto from me ;)
  20. tellner

    tellner Valued Member

    Sometimes it's about power. Sometimes it's about aggression, demeaning that woman or women in general. Sometimes it's because she has something he wants to use(orifices) and he just doesn't give a damn about getting permission. Sorry to be crude, but there's no nice way of putting it.

    There are lots of reasons why rapists rape. It can be useful to understand something about them But we aren't there to psychoanalyze them, just to stop them. The only kind of rapist I care about is "unsuccessful" by preference "ballistically decomissioned". Let the prison psychiatrist worry about his inner motivations.

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