Pope vs Rabbi

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by Sgt_Major, Aug 5, 2008.

  1. Sgt_Major

    Sgt_Major Ex Global Mod Supporter

    Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert
    to Catholicism or leave Italy ... There was a huge outcry from the Jewish
    community, so the pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate
    with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could
    stay in Italy ; if the Pope won, they would have to convert or leave.


    The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise Rabbi to represent
    them in the debate. However, as the Rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope
    spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.


    On the chosen day the Pope and Rabbi sat opposite each other. The Pope
    raised his hand and showed three fingers.


    The Rabbi looked back and raised one finger.


    Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.


    The Rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.


    The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.


    The Rabbi pulled out an apple.


    With that the Pope stood up and declared that he was beaten, and that
    the Rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy


    Later the Cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened?


    The Pope said, 'First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity
    He responded by holding up one finger to remind me there is still only
    one God common to both our beliefs. Then, I waved my finger around my
    head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to
    the ground to show that God was also right here with us. I pulled out
    the wine and wafer, to show that God absolves us of all our sins. He
    pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He had beaten me
    at every move and I could not continue.


    Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the Rabbi how he had
    won.


    'I haven't a clue' said the Rabbi. First he said to me that we had three
    days to get out of Italy , so I gave him the finger. Then he tells me
    that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I said to him that
    we were staying right here.


    'And then what?' asked a woman.


    'Who knows?' said the Rabbi. 'He took out his lunch so I took out mine'
     
  2. Moi

    Moi Warriors live forever x

    LOL If only!
     
  3. Dragonhead

    Dragonhead Manchester United Fan :)

    lol nice one! :cool:
     
  4. liero

    liero Valued Member

    I like it.
     
  5. ross-24

    ross-24 Valued Member

    lmao that's a good one
     
  6. TheMightyMcClaw

    TheMightyMcClaw Dashing Space Pirate

    Two friends of mine did a variant of this joke as a skit for their Japanese class. It was pretty great.
     
  7. Topher

    Topher allo!

    A priest, rabbi and a muslim sheik are all walking through the forrest one afternoon when they stumble across a lake. They decide to go swimming, but don't want to get their gowns wet. Seeing as it was almost sunset they agree that nobody else will be in the area and it would be safe to leave their gowns by the side of the lake and go skinny dipping.

    When they return to the shore, their gowns are all missing. They quietly sneak their way back in to town. As they're approaching the priests house they round a corner to find themselves facing a group of young children. The priest and sheik cover their groins while the rabbi covers his face and they all run off as quickly as they can. When they finally get to the priests house the priest and sheik ask the rabbi: "Why did you cover your face? You disgusting man, you stood there and let those poor childrens innocence be lost by leaving yourself exposed to them" to which the Rabbi replies:






























    "My friend, I covered my face as that is the part MY congregation would recognise."
     
  8. Semper Fi

    Semper Fi Valued Member

    LOL @ both jokes. =)
     
  9. koyo

    koyo Passed away, but always remembered. RIP.

    The pope finds an ancient manuscript said to have the rules of how priests must live written by jesus himself.

    He asks one of the priest to decipher it.The priest does so and throws a fit......

    It says C E L E B R A T E!!!!!! He screams.

    regards koyo
     
  10. poryu

    poryu Valued Member

    Broke shoe

    One day the Pope is on one of his meet the people walkabouts in a town he is visiting.

    As he walks down the street the heel of his shoe breaks off.

    in the street where he is stood to his left is a catholic shoe repairs shop, to his right is a Jewish shoe repair shop.

    In the interest of fellowship between faiths the Pope decides that it would be a nice gesture to have the Jewish shop fix his shoe for him so in he goes.

    The shoe is soon fixed and he is back on his tour of the town.

    Later that day a sign appears in the Jewish shoe repair shop.

    'Cobblers to the Pope'

    Next day a sign appears in the Catholic shoe repair shop across the street.

    '**** holes to the chief Rabbi'
     

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