Northern Exposure

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by Wynnston, Feb 10, 2005.

  1. Wynnston

    Wynnston Member

    Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

    After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and sees a huge, bearded man standing there.

    "Name's Lars, your neighbour from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come. About 5:00."

    "Great", says Tom, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."

    As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you...There's gonna be some drinkin'."

    "Not a problem" says Tom. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em."

    Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."

    "Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right. I'll be there.
    Thanks again."

    "More'n likely be some wild sex goin' on too (wink, wink)."

    "Now that's really not a problem" says Tom, warming to the idea "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"

    "Whatever you want. Just gonna be the two of us."
     
  2. ladystar

    ladystar Valued Member

    Ole, Lena, and Sven were lost in the northwoods and were becoming desperate, having run out of food several days ago. It was winter, the snow was deep, their situation was looking very bleak. When Ole dug down into the snow to look for something to eat , he found an old lamp and upon rubbing it to get the snow off, a genie came out.
    The genie says, "I am the great genie of the North and I can grant each of you one wish."
    Ole says, "I vish I vas back on my farm." Poof, Ole was gone.
    Lena quickly says, "I vish I vas back on da farm wit Ole." Poof, Lena was gone.
    Sven was sitting there looking sad and the genie finally says, "What is your wish?" and Sven says, "Gee, I'm really lonely. I vish Ole and Lena vas back here with me". :D
     
  3. Kwajman

    Kwajman Penguin in paradise....

    Good ones all of them.
     
  4. Athleng Nordic

    Athleng Nordic Sadly passed away. RIP. Supporter

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