Need help getting my assigned training partner to put on his big boy pants

The mma gym I go to has a system in place that each member is assigned a training partner that they are required to keep in touch with and show up alongside.

It's a good system I think.. keeps everyone accountable and helps foster a supportive environment.

My assigned partner is named Miguel. He's a nice kid and for the most part I like him, but he has a hard time listening to the Jiu Jitsu instructor. Normally other people not doing what they're told doesn't bother me, but there have been warning signs that it's going to be a problem for the progress that I intend to make.

There was a minor "incident" today where he showed up for class with a minor shoulder injury.. meaning we couldn't do the more competitive and aggressive drills. This was fine, only while the others were doing said drill, we were supposed to work on the predetermined sequence we were taught..
.. which Miguel, in all of his (supposedly) infinite wisdom, didn't want to do.

I attempted to push him to cooperate, only to be shushed. Before I could say anything further, we were both yelled at, at which point he finally continued with me. At the end of class, coach gave everyone a long lecture about the importance of listening in a practice as intense as Jiu Jitsu (which I wholeheartedly agree with).

Slight tangent: After this, Miguel made an annoying remark that we got yelled at because of me.. and I had to tell him that if he had gotten it together, I wouldn't have needed to say anything. It's not too relevant, I know but yeah.. snotty little attitude.

Later, as I was getting ready for the Muay Thai class, I was pulled aside by the coach who told me that he was paying attention to the whole thing and that I shouldn't let Miguel's laziness drag me down.

This felt nice, but it doesn't solve the problem. Usually I'm a fairly assertive guy, but I don't want to start an altercation that will disrupt the class. At the same time, I'm not too keen on leaving my coach with no other option but to babysit us. I suppose I could hope that this finally got it though Miguel's thick skull, but knowing him it's a flip of a coin.

I'm unsure of the means I have to handle the situation. Please advise.

 

It sounds like you have a lot of enthusiasm to get on with the lesson. This is a good thing it will take you far.

Is the reason for partnering related to the current pandemic? I know some places have done this to make it easier to identify the source of infection.
If this is the case then maybe another year of this is to come. If your partner is "lazy" then you may find they won't be sticking to it as long as you will.

Think of the long term plan. You can still train, which in the current global situation is a whole lot better than no training or even remote training.

I've been there, regularly stuck with the non committal low effort partner, often they don't hang around more than a few weeks or months.

Find out from your coach what solo work you can do outside of training, so you get getting your fill of training so that it won't feel so much like slowing your progress.

you mentioned in another thread that you partner / girl friend also trains? Can you train with them outside? Do they go to the same club?

 

Hopefully you're right and I won't see him much longer.

She doesn't train anymore, unfortunately. Not in years.. otherwise I'd be having her teaching me a thing or two lol.

I'll look into the solo training, thank you.

 

This sounds like you weren't paying attention. And making a distraction, essentially that's on you, you'll be pod training due to the pandemic, once this is over with, you won't have to deal with your partner, but people will remember how you acted, so sort yourself out, and try to be a better partner.

The only person you can control is you.

 

Didn't you read? If he listened to Coach to begin with, I wouldn't have had to be a jerk.

 

You can only control your own actions, you say you were a jerk, fix that behaviour before you expect someone else to fix theirs.

 

Yeeaahh.. I don't think so. I'm there to train. Either he cooperates or there are gonna be problems. Because we are EXPECTED to train. It's what we're SUPPOSED to do.

But yeah, guess I'm the bad guy for trying to get his butt in gear.

 

My usual approach to these things would be sub optimal. Do you have a better idea?

 

Nope. This situation requires a douche.
Just because you've all succumb to the disease that is "humility" doesn't mean I have to.

 

Oh are you not gonna cooperate with me and then be a snot when I try to make you? You gonna be a snowflake?

 

Your coach told you off in front of everybody, and you looked so butthurt he had have you a pep talk to spare your feelings, and then you go online and call everyone here snowflakes?

What's gonna happen is your going to annoy your training partner, who then won't show up again, no training partner means no training, unless you coach puts you with someone else, if you do the same again, I can see your coach kicking you out Instead, as it's costing him money now.

 

The first thing I'd do would be to talk to your partner about it. It could be your partner was having a bad day, as much as we try and leave everything at the door sometimes life makes it into sessions. Don't phrase it as getting them to put on their big boy pants, just ask them if they're alright, and what you can do to help them in training.

If that doesn't solve it, speak to your coach about your issues.

In terms of humility, it's the best way of everyone working as a team so you can all learn. It's not about thinking you're lower than everyone else, it's about not thinking you're more important than everyone else. Your partner is there to help you have the best session possible, and you do the same for them

 

Your new to training arnt you?

Your not the biggest dog in the room in the MMA gym, why do you think you don't get beat up on during training, because people realise what it's like to be new, and slowly help you become better by pulling you up, because they have some humility.

Unless your so new, you havn't sparred/wrestled/rolled with many people yet due to pod training, and your the tiny king of a tiny small hill, and think that means anything.

The insecurity in your posts is so obvious.

The big dogs don't need to bark as much as the tiny dogs do, because they already know where they stand in the pack.

You currently sound like a chihuahua!

 

Now you're just twisting what I'm saying. Make a good argument. The guy SAW that I was trying to motivate my partner and encouraged me not to let him do it again.

That is objectively what happened. I'm not playing this game with you where you're gonna try to tell ME what actually happened to make me look bad.

 

I don't have to be the "biggest dog" to be unapologetic about being right.