My wife has gone over to the Dark Side...again

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by finite monkey, Jun 24, 2012.

  1. finite monkey

    finite monkey Thought Criminal

    I love my wife. Or at least I love the woman who is around 3/4's of the time, but one week in four I share my life with a hell spawned valkyrie who seems bent on my utter humiliation and destruction

    Normaly she is pleasant, helpfull and insightfull, but right now she is a succubus, bent on sucking the very soul from my mortal shell, while at the same time crushing my manhood beneath stillettos of doom

    There is no reasoning to be done only retreat into my cave till the madness has passed

    Come brothers, come forth and vent your spleen. Share your anti PMS tactics, let us unite in manliness to survive this monthly invasion from the nether regions of hell!
     
  2. Princess Haru

    Princess Haru Valued Member

    some guys are quite into FemDom
     
  3. Seventh

    Seventh Super Sexy Sushi Time

    Chocolate?
     
  4. Seventh

    Seventh Super Sexy Sushi Time

    You speaking from experience?

    :p
     
  5. Princess Haru

    Princess Haru Valued Member

    who me? :Angel:
     
  6. finite monkey

    finite monkey Thought Criminal

    Isn't that a kind of contaceptive....I know PMS is
     
  7. mkultra

    mkultra Valued Member

    Give her a backrub. Worked for me with my ex. She was still on edge and quite bitchy, but not towards me.

    She the same age as you? 10 more years and it shouldn't be a problem.
     
  8. AndrewTheAndroid

    AndrewTheAndroid A hero for fun.

    Invest in a cabin or cottage. That way you can go on fishing/hunting trips.
     
  9. Caleb Demarais

    Caleb Demarais Valued Member

    Women make the best soldiers. They bleed for a week every month and still don't die.
     
  10. AndrewTheAndroid

    AndrewTheAndroid A hero for fun.

    But terrible inventors. They have a pad with wings that doesn't fly.
     
  11. Simon

    Simon Administrator Admin Supporter MAP 2017 Koyo Award

    Thread moved to "Jokes."

    Please note, anything derogatory and the thread will be closed again.
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2012
  12. finite monkey

    finite monkey Thought Criminal

    Sorry mods

    My intention was to provide a platform for people to vent about thier PM partners/colleagues/family etc

    Not as a woman hattting flame party


    I love women

    So stop your gibber jabber lads or feel the wrath of the monkey...GRAH!
     
  13. Ero-Sennin

    Ero-Sennin Well-Known Member Supporter

    My wife claims she doesn't ever have PMS and that women make excuses saying they have it. Her random fits of crying, emotional insanity, and anger say otherwise.

    On woman's defense though, if I had to go through a cycle that had a huge effect on my hygiene, caused me to bloat and be uncomfortable, and be in constant cramping pain . . . . I think I would be a moody jerk too. So I don't ever really hold it against her, it's just a pain to deal with. She had to deal with my moods when I get sick or am injured as well, mine just isn't on a schedule.
     
  14. finite monkey

    finite monkey Thought Criminal

    My revenge is to be slightly annoying all the time...Hah! have some of that!
     
  15. Ero-Sennin

    Ero-Sennin Well-Known Member Supporter

    I tend to make her cry harder when she starts crying for apparently no reason by teasing her or brushing her complaints off my shoulder.

    I feel your pain though, some months are worse then others.
     
  16. finite monkey

    finite monkey Thought Criminal

    Even though that sounds cruel you may be doing her a favour. let me explain my theory on PMS

    The emotinal release of PMS allows the body to excrete stress chemicals

    When the lady is ready to concieve her body is stress free allowing for a more hospitable enviroment for the growing baby
     
  17. Ero-Sennin

    Ero-Sennin Well-Known Member Supporter

    We just got through the monthly cycle. One thing I noticed (she's hispanics and fried plantains are a HUGE part of hispanic culture) is when I cooked some plantains, she was in a crying fit but got happy as could be when she wanted to pick away at my food. Maybe I could harass her until she beats on me and weeps, then cook her some good food. It's always nice to go from hysterically depressed to extremely happy and feeling good.
     
  18. finite monkey

    finite monkey Thought Criminal

    You should get her to a martial arts class

    Think of the conditioning you'll recieve once a month
     
  19. Smitfire

    Smitfire Cactus Schlong

    I tell ya...every month this catches me out.
    Me and my wife have a couple of days of arguing. I think she's going off me and can do no right.
    And then..."I'm on by the way" and it all makes sense.
     
  20. Instructor_Jon

    Instructor_Jon Effectiveness First

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