"My master did this!" stories

Discussion in 'General Martial Arts Discussion' started by splodge, May 16, 2006.

  1. splodge

    splodge New Member

    Hi,

    Most schools have them and I was wondering what are the superhero stories that surround your school/art.

    For example the first place i trained at the big story was that the old chinese master there was doing an exhibition and had a new leather heavy bag and he invited all the various martial artists from different styles up on stage to pound crap out of the bag, they were all impressed and said that the bag was of very good quality etc, etc. The kung fu master then walked up to the bag, laid the tips of his fingers against the bag and pushed them through the leather and ripped out a piece of the stuffing.............point made! :cool:

    The second place i went to had the story of the sifu being able to fire a finger jab out and just touch your eye balls enough to make you faint on the spot.

    I know its a bit like ripleys believe it or not but i was wondering what superhero stories are at your schools?
     
  2. faster than you

    faster than you Valued Member

    i once jkd-lead-punched a very large heavy bag so hard that it went parallel with the ceiling. the imapact of the punch caused the metal chain, holding the bag up, to snap several links from the force of the bag being driven up and away from its axis.
    i also have performed 2-finger pushups numerous times at the gym.
     
  3. Tri

    Tri New Member

    I don't know whether to laugh or cringe.

    No stories of my master. He doesn't like the fake stories :)
     
  4. ItalianStallion

    ItalianStallion Valued Member

    You dont really expect anyone to believe that?
     
  5. Tri

    Tri New Member

    Who me?
     
  6. ItalianStallion

    ItalianStallion Valued Member

    Was referign to the original poster :Angel:
     
  7. Tri

    Tri New Member

    Ah.

    I checked some his earlier posts. His credibility is a tad shady.
     
  8. CrowZer0

    CrowZer0 Assume formlessness.

    My master is Batman. During the night he puts on a giant rubber black suit and beats the crap out of criminals. Beat that.
     
  9. Lord Spooky

    Lord Spooky Banned Banned


    Easy here's mine :D
     

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  10. My instructor doesn't have superhero stories. He just does things. We know how hard he punches because he just punches things and annihilates his target.

    He doesn't need to brag about his combat history because his body does it for him. Mashed up nose and busted knuckles.
     
  11. Bil Gee

    Bil Gee Thug

    My master delivers toys to every child in the world on Christmas Eve (apart from the naughty ones)


    [​IMG]
     
  12. adouglasmhor

    adouglasmhor Not an Objectivist

    My Mistress makes me wear a collar and wears high heeled boots..
     
  13. CosmicFish

    CosmicFish Aleprechaunist

    My mathter maketh me ring the bellth.

    THE BELLTH!
     
  14. inthespirit

    inthespirit ignant

    I think this is going to evolve in to another Chuck Norris thread..

    CosmicFish... thats just mad.. ROFLMAO :D
     
  15. rex00

    rex00 Banned Banned

    When my master does push ups he doen't push himself up, he pushes the world down.
     
  16. Johnno

    Johnno Valued Member

    There is only one Master:
     

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  17. Moosey

    Moosey invariably, a moose Supporter

    Do you reckon he'll get a modern revival too? A young, hip Master played by Peter Andre with a stripy stick-on beard?
     
  18. Johnno

    Johnno Valued Member

    Er, I was rather hoping they would ask me, actually! :eek:
     
  19. Davey Bones

    Davey Bones New Member

    My first ever martial arts school... a Kenpo school in Tucson, AZ.

    One of the assistant instructors claimed to have been one of the first Navy SEALs, and handpicked by JFK himself. As if that wasn't bad enough, we got this little gem:

    One day back in the mid-90's, he was walking through one of the malls in Tucson. He was allegedly attacked by two teenagers. He claims that, out of pure instinct, he gauged the eyeball of one (and right out of his head, too!), and broke the kneecap of the other. He claims the story to the police, when the young thugs reported it became "we were jumped at the mall by a gang of black kids" for they did not want to admit to being beaten up by a 60-something year old man.

    Personally, I think this story is utter rubbish. I get very tired of these outlandish claims that instructors and "masters" toss out to students about how they've used their "super secret deadly techniques" on pure instinct whenever someone walks up behind them and yells "boo". Gimme a break.

    If you want to show me how good you are, telling me you beat up a couple of teenagers or a few drunks and showed no self-control while doing it is hardly going to impress me. It doesn't make me think you're teaching me great self-defense, it only makes me question your sanity and moral code.
     
  20. splodge

    splodge New Member

    This was supposed to be a light hearted look at the stories that come out of most martial art schools, i never once said I believed them.

    Considering you have just attacked my credibility I would appreciate your reasoning for this statement. I have been studying martial arts all over the world and never has my credibility being questioned as an honest student of the arts before.
     

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