Men strike back!!

Discussion in 'Off Topic Area' started by Keikai, Jun 27, 2006.

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  1. Keikai

    Keikai Banned Banned

    How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a
    woman?
    Because a woman who can't even afford a washing
    machine will probably never be able to support you.
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    Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to
    stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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    How do you know when a woman is about to say something
    smart?
    When she starts her sentence with "A man once told
    me..."
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    How do you fix a woman's watch?
    You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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    Why do men break wind more than women?
    Because women can't shut up long enough to build up
    the required pressure.
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    If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife
    is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
    The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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    What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
    A woman who won't do what she's told.
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    I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was
    Always.
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    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a
    woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a Wedding Cake.
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    Why do men die before their wives?
    They want to.
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    Women will never be equal to men until they can walk
    down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still
    think they are sexy.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
    Then God created Man and rested.
    Then God created Woman.
    Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
     
  2. CKinnerley

    CKinnerley Will fight for peace/food

    Ha! Pure genius, just hunker down now for the feminist retaliation. :p
     
  3. ZenPixelTKD

    ZenPixelTKD not just a natural blonde

    Nah, its funny because you are scared that the women are going to retaliate, so it does make you question who is the braver sex?
     
  4. Lord Spooky

    Lord Spooky Banned Banned


    Well Keikai wont be scared I mean he such a testosterone powered luurrrve machine! As can be seen in this pic of him striking a very manly pose (He’s the one on the phone not too sure who the other good looking guy is ;) :D) :

    http://www.martialartsplanet.com/forums/showpost.php?p=905108&postcount=539
     
  5. Athleng Nordic

    Athleng Nordic Sadly passed away. RIP. Supporter

  6. Lily

    Lily Valued Member

    'Men strike back' on the the Jokes forum because they are a joke :D

    A three year old little boy was examining his private parts while taking a bath.
    "Mama," he asked, "Are these my brains?"
    Mama answered................ "Not yet."
     
  7. kano junior

    kano junior Uchi-Monster!!

    What do you do if you find your wife in the garden?

    Shorten the chain!
     
  8. Lily

    Lily Valued Member

    Kano junior - come to Australia and repeat that. I dare you!

    There's a reason why its called MENtal illness.
     
  9. Skrom

    Skrom Banned Banned

    hooray, sexist jokes! :D

    how do you blind a woman?
    put a windshield in front of her face.

    very true, especially asian women (now sexist and racist!) :p
     
  10. Lily

    Lily Valued Member

    Where is the girl fight back?! :woo:

    What do they call a woman who works as hard as a man? Answer: "Lazy."
     
  11. Keikai

    Keikai Banned Banned

    you seem to be on your own Lily!!! :D

    How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None, because she thinks she is so beautiful, she thinks her radiance lights up each room as she walks in!!
     
  12. Lily

    Lily Valued Member

    Keikai, your last offering makes me think that you're batting for the girls team. I fight for all womankind :)

    How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
    Make him wear shoes.
     
  13. Keikai

    Keikai Banned Banned

    ah se, it say she think not i think!! :D

    What do essex girls use as potection?

    bus shelters
     
  14. ShadowWarrior

    ShadowWarrior Valued Member

    How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?

    That doesn't matter, what's she doing out of the Kitchen!
     
  15. Lily

    Lily Valued Member

    How about you boys admit defeat?

    Why do men like smart, beautiful women?
    Because opposites attract. :p
     
  16. Keikai

    Keikai Banned Banned

    Are you smart and beautiful then?? ;)
     
  17. sparrow

    sparrow Chirp!

    Why do women bother with men?
    Because vibrators can't mow the lawn!!
     
  18. Lily

    Lily Valued Member

    Keikai, is that an admission that you're stupid and ugly? :p

    Sparrow - it won't be long before an R&D breakthrough sees a lawn mowing vibrator on the market. Men, prepare yourself for extinction.
     
  19. blippy

    blippy New Member

    lilly just thought i'd give alittle support
    Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?
    A: So he can tell if he is coming or going.

    Q: What do men and sperm have in common?
    A:They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

    Q: Why do men masturbate?
    A: It's sex with someone they love.

    Q: What is the difference between a toad and a horny toad?
    A: One goes, "ribbit," the other goes, "rub it."

    Q. What does a woman's a***Hole do when she is having an orgasm?
    A. He is usually home with the kids!

    Q: Why don't men have a mid-life crisis?
    A: They're stuck in adolescence.

    Q: Why do little boys whine?
    A: Because they are practicing to be men.

    Q: What is the definition of nothing?
    A: When a man with an erection walks into a brick wall and injures his nose.
     
  20. AuntiePink

    AuntiePink Naughty Member

    LOL@blippy! :)
     
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