Martial Arts as a way of life

Discussion in 'General Martial Arts Discussion' started by waya, Mar 14, 2002.

  1. waya

    waya Valued Member

    I know personally that I have made my training basically the center of my life, and have suffered some consequences in relationships at home. I guess it would be considered normal for a professional fighter to do this, but what about the rest of us that aren't competitors? ANyone else ever have this problem? I train in one way or another wherever I am at. I practice techniques at work, taking the kids to the park, sitting around the house, everywhere. And for most of my life it has been most of all I talk about, which has created problems in relationships because others think it is all I care about. I guess I never found the balance point before. Anyone else ever have these issues? Or do y'all think it is normal for an average person who isn't into pro fighting to make training a way of life instead of a passtime?

    Rob
     
  2. Andy Murray

    Andy Murray Sadly passed away. Rest In Peace.

    A lot of the lessons you learn through practice of the arts apply to everyday life.

    If someone is agressive in a conversation ( or a post ) with me, then I may withdraw, only to return unexpectedly.

    If someone is defensive, I may try to draw them out, or arrange their reactions for them.

    Tip of the iceberg, but these were psychological things I used to do on the mat.

    Constantly looking for your own humility is a wonderful attribute in a person.

    The object of the arts is to do as you have done Waya, and make them the center of your life.

    Just don't try to make them the center for every one else. It's not about the destination, it's about the journey. You can't make the journey for anyone else.

    Hey, Peace, Love and Flowers man!
     
  3. Chazz

    Chazz Keepin it kickin TKD style

    "do y'all think it is normal for an average person who isn't into pro fighting to make training a way of life instead of a passtime?"


    Yeah i do. Because there are so many things in the martial arts for someone the become apart of. Be it Forms, history, fighting, etc. The fighting part if just a small part of the martial arts

    -Chazz
     
  4. pesilat

    pesilat Active Member

    "Normal" is a relative term :) What one person considers "normal" another considers "bizarre."

    Personally I do this too. I've been involved in MA since I was 8 (1979). I've always looked at kind of like an old friend. It's a part of who I am and if someone has a problem with it ... well, it's been part of my life longer than they have (aside from my family and a couple of friends, of course).

    However, it's never really caused me any relationship problems. All the women I've been involved with have known from the get-go that MA is an integral part of my life and that it takes precedence of anything else except the need of family and friends ... and even then it sometimes depends on the "need."

    I've *never* had a problem with my wife when it comes to MA training. She knew how important it was to me from the moment she met me. When she met me, she lived in Dayton, OH and I lived in Anderson, IN (about 2 hours apart). Every weekend, I was driving over to Fairborn, OH (about 2.5 hours) to train with my instructor there. After a year of driving over every weekend to train and to go out with Margaret, I sold my trailer and quit my job in IN and moved in with Margaret in OH. When we got married, we actually had a MA demo at our wedding reception (my instructor, me, and some of my fellow students). Margaret has never been interested in MA and has no urge to train. But she knows how important it is to me and supports my passion for it 100%.

    I think it's perfectly normal ... but, as I say, "normal" is a relative term :) A lot of my wife's friends think it's very strange that
    (A) I devote so much of my life to it and
    (B) my wife is fully supportive of it.

    Mike
     
  5. waya

    waya Valued Member

    Mike,
    You're lucky there. Most women I have been involved with hated it because it takes up so much of my free time. But all have known that it is as much a part of me as breathing. I began training when I was placed in children's classes at age 3 (1981 god I am getting old lol)..... I don't see how it could be anything else.

    Rob
     
  6. pesilat

    pesilat Active Member

    Doesn't that make you 23? That's not old. At 30, I'm still pretty young :)

    I think it also helps that my wife is 15 years older than me. When we met I was 23 and she was 38. She'd already been around the block a few times and had matured. She knew that if being passionate about my MA was my biggest fault that I was a head-and-shoulders above most other guys she'd ever known :)

    Mike
     
  7. waya

    waya Valued Member

    lol 24 as of January...

    hmmmmmmm I should have gone date hunting with you LOL.

    I might take it to far I think. We go to Wal-Mart and I am practicing movement and changing my footing and body positioning to react to attacks and confrontations (not openly but doing the small movements lol), and at work I work on different techniques. And since outside of work and my training the woman I was involved with was all I saw and that was all she ever heard about it became a problem for her.

    the rest of my family is ok with it by now. They are used to it being the main topic when I call back to TX or I call IL where my mother and grandmother are now. So they just say uh huh uh huh and wait for me to finish lol.

    Rob
     
  8. Andy Murray

    Andy Murray Sadly passed away. Rest In Peace.

    As guilty as the next person, I reccomend we get an MA 'shrink' on these forums as soon as possible. lol
     
  9. pesilat

    pesilat Active Member

    LOL ... yes, I personally think I found the perfect woman (for me, anyway :)

    LOL ... if that's "taking it too far" then I'm right there with ya brother :)

    My wife thinks it's kind of funny because we've been together 7 years now and she occasionally startles herself with how much MA info (history, big names, backgrounds, etc.) she's picked up vicariously from me.

    Yup. My dad gets it ... but he had some training in MA (no official rank, but befriended the hand-to-hand instructor [a 6th Dan in TKD] when he was in the Air Force and he trained privately with him for a couple of years). Most of the rest of my family doesn't really get it ... but they know it's part of my life. My mom, for instance, asked me if I was "done" when I got my black belt :) I tried to explain to her that there was no such thing :) I think I made an impression when used her background as an example. She used to teach Business Law, Accounting, and Typing at a local college. I pointed out that, just because she taught those courses (had a "black belt" in them) there was still she could learn ... and as an instructor it was almost mandatory that she continue learning. I think it kind of got the point across ... but she still doesn't really get it :)

    Mike
     
  10. waya

    waya Valued Member

    lol My mom doesn't either. She just agrees and says "that's nice" lol. My grandmother's youngest (who will be 21 in May) and my younger sister are the only ones that do because they work out with me when I fly back. My friends all are confused when I start talking about various arts and the differences in them also. They think "Karate" is "Karate" and that's that lol
     
  11. pesilat

    pesilat Active Member

    I've only got a handful of close friends. I've known 2 of them longer than I've been in MA but one of them started MA with me at 8. Another old friend is one I met in my first MA class. Only 2 of my close friends aren't into MA. Most of my friends and even most of my acquaintances are involved in MA. This is mostly because MA circles are the primary circles I run in so most of the people I meet are MAists. Most of my wife's friends, though, don't get it at all :)

    Mike
     
  12. Thomas Vince

    Thomas Vince New Member

    Martial Arts is my life!

    I started in 1978 when I was 14 years old! I am now 37! I spent 20 years travelling and learning from the best there was never marrying or settling down. It sounds cold but I always have the MA's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Thomas:love:
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2002
  13. Kat

    Kat Valued Member

    If you feel MA is having a Negative effect on your life then it is a problem,if you feel its not a problem then it isn't.
    I don't find life spins around MA but that MA is a part of it and it coexsists with other disciplines that I enjoy.Please realize that I do not make a living out of MA but that enhances the rest of my life.
     
  14. Freeform

    Freeform Fully operational War-Pig Supporter

    An ex-girlfriend once said about me to her friends

    "If you want to go out with Colin your better off making an appointment with his Instructor."!
     
  15. Greyghost

    Greyghost Alllll rrigghty then!

    i found that the best way to stop my wife from complaining about the amount of time i'm out training...was to get her a hobby that got her out the house even more....that way i can b*tch at her.

    From a personal view...Ma has been the main focus of my life since i was 16. But with most things ....everything has to have it's place...and i now find i spend less time training and more time working. I still enjoy it though....and if i'm truthful...this forum has renewed my enthusiasm for MA big time...

    Keep up the good work fellas. (and Mel).



    fraser
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 8, 2002
  16. Jack

    Jack Valued Member

    Hey...

    I think I've found another place with people who will understand me! I have just about no friends in real life who understand my desire to train so much. However, the behaviour of training so much is not obsessive or compulsive, since those two words by definition lack control. Martial Artists however are very controlled. We might be called strange for wanting to put ourselves through pain and torture, but waht these people do not understand is that those are simply obstacles blocking us from our goals, that we break through.

    I was lucky to once have a girl that understood my love of MA, but we ended for other reasons.

    I strongly recommend purchasing "Living the Martial Way" by Forrest E. Morgan, its a great book thats a must-have for any Martial Artist!
     
  17. Thomas Vince

    Thomas Vince New Member

    "Cry in the Dojo, Laugh on the Battlefield."
     
  18. Freeform

    Freeform Fully operational War-Pig Supporter

    Sweat more training, bleed less on the pavement.
     
  19. hongkongfuey

    hongkongfuey Kung Fu Geek

    Is anyone sad enough to practice MA moves whilst in the toilet?

    And are they brave enough to admit it.....
     
  20. Andy Murray

    Andy Murray Sadly passed away. Rest In Peace.

    Some of the really grotty toilets I see in Motorway service stations are great for practicing Horse Stance!

    I certainly wouldn't sit on one though.

    I gotta admit that I do tension exercises on the insides and outsides of the steering wheel. Keeps me awake on long drives
     
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2002

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