MAN OF THE HOUSE The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE'. He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will make love in the way that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?" The wife replied, "The funeral director would be my first guess..."
Anyone who talks to their partner like that deserves a frying pan upside the head. Sad thing is there are a lot of guys out there who are like that.
There was a guY just like that and one day his wife saw though him and started laughing at him. So he decided to show her. He died his hair to look younger and it turned out yellow rather than blond..she laughed again. Then he attempted weight lifting and sprained his back..she laughed again. Then he invested his money and lost it..she laughed again. Eventually he got fed up with her laughing and one night when she came home he was sitting with a gun in his hand. "What are you doing you screw up she asked." "Since we have nothing going for us I have decided on a suicide murder" he snarled and raised the gun....she laughed again. "Laugh away bitch" he said as he put the gun to his head "YOU ARE NEXT!!!!"
This guy was at home and his friends came over and said to him lets go hang out maybe go catch the football game on the big screen at the bar. He said no my wife wont like it i have to stay home. One of his more out spoken friends said. Hey man are you a man or a mouse. At that very moment in the back round was heard by his wife she said. Dear your cheese sandwich is ready. He replied LOUDLY did you make it like i like it with extra cheese? No need to say his friends then left.
