I was wondering if any women here could share some insight on your confidence levels after training, and how long it took you to get there? I have to work nights occasionally, and that is the only time I'm confronted with being out at night. I start to get paniky(sp) the day before. I do carry a small pocket knife but I honestly can't say that makes me feel any safer. I wonder if I'm setting my expectations to high in believing I'll feel completely safe after ANY type of training.
SIS!!! The first thing you need to do to stay safe is get a handle on your energy. If you're feelin panicky the day before, imagine what sort of signals you're sending out on the night? Rule No: 1 - ACT LIKE YOU OWN THE PLACE. I don't mean this in an arrogant way. But, feel good in your own skin. Walk with purpose. Look like you know exactly where you're going (even if you don't). Deal with your surroundings directly. Be respectful. Rule No: 2 - PULL YOUR ENERGY IN, so you move through your environment discretely. Make it like no-one would even notice that you're there. Rule No: 3 - DONT CARRY WEAPONS YOU CAN'T USE. It only makes it dangerous for YOU. Your attacker will/can obviously use it against you. Rule No: 4 - NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF A GOOD HARD KICK TO THE GROIN. It will break even the toughest and buy you time and space. Rule No: 5 - KNOW WHEN TO RUN. Be fast on your feet and aware of your surroundings for escape routes. But above all, you have to have your S**t together emotionally and energetically. Don't let your attacker "in". Keep em out of your energetic and psychic space and the battle's practically won. Of course, it's a good idea to have a few MA techniques up your sleve incase the're REALLY stupid. Storm x
As part of any good training regiment is developing your awareness levels and common sense. Plenty of times..even I walk around pre-occupied with the days events or what yet has to be done before the days end. Start taking notice of your surroundings, routines, habits, etc. Make the necessary adjustments that you can to perhaps make you less panicky. If you work nights, have someone escort you to your car, that kind of thing. If you do drive, perhaps park as close as possible to your building, have you keys in hand walking to and from...just my 2 cents
unless you know how to use that knife.... do not carry it rely on common sense and your wits a knife could lull u into a false sense of security and (especially a folder in untrained hands) is more likely to be use against you than by you (the above is especially true if you pulll it & show it... one thing to remove from a pocket and stab in the back when someone has you on the ground.. another to hold it out and threaten with it.. or try to get it out in a struggle)
it took me about 2-3 years into my training to truly start to feel like i could use if it i needed it (i was also training 3 hours a day, 6 days a week for most of this time). to really feel your training, you've got to be doing it constantly - it's about the repetative motions. until you hit that point (and you'll know when you hit it), follow storm's advice - it's spot on. confidence starts within you, not outside you.
Thanks for the advice Guess the only thing I slightly disagree with is the knife suggestions. Not being sarcastic but I don't even think they have 'knife classes'. I've never heard of a class where they teach you how to use a knife against an attacker. I kinda see it as someone using whatever they have in order to defend themselves, such as a bat, broken bottle, vase etc. Am I wrong to think of it that way? I mean I'd rather have something than nothing. I don't think anyone would teach me how to use a bat for self defense, but I know bats have been used. Hope I'm making sense.
yes, and no. being able to use whatever is around is a good thing. but getting it taken away to be used against you.. not so much. esp. if the attacker does have some experience with whatever weapon. but yes, there are ma's that teach modern weapons.. (see peisistratos' post) there's others too
Do you take public transportation? Walk? Drive? If you are only alone when you walk to your car in the parking lot, have some people from the office walk with you. That is your best defense against being attacked. If you walk or take public transportation then you should be more concerned. Remember, even with self defense training, you are unlikely to fend off a male attacker. Women are generally weaker, have less mass, and are less aggressive than men. If you get attacked be prepared to bite or grab his groin and squeeze. Kicks to the groin are not usually very effective for two reasons: Kicking puts you off balance (only kick if you spend alot of time doing it against a resisting opponent), and men will instinctively guard that area of the body. If you are truly affraid, then consider learning to use a gun. You will need to become proficient to use it effectively and safely, but it is really your best bet. If you are uncomfortable with weapons (which is understandable) and really want to learn hand to hand self defense, then dont bother with the 6 week programs or your local dojo. If you want to be able to defend yourself, first you must be fit and in train consistently. Pick a style that uses the most resistance and contact possible. If you train at a school that only has you point spar, you will probably develop overconfidence in your ability to fend off an attacker and not develope the power needed to fend off an attacker. Try a boxing school, muay thai gym, BJJ school, etc. Anything that encourages live sparring and conditioning. Then suppliment with 'self defense' training.
Have a read of Dead or Alive by Geoff Thompson, theres lots of good practical advice for self protection. I agree with everyone else, carrying the knife is not a very good idea. Even if you use it successfully you're likely to get into trouble with the police. On your way to and from work where comfortable clothes and shoes, so if need be you can run.
I agree with most of Storm here, except for the Groin strike. Nam makes some good points, however there is also the fact that this can also enrage a man beyond the point of pain that this strike would normally inflict. So now not only do you have an attacker coming at you, but they are almost in beserker rage. Not a good idea. Also agree with not carrying a weapon you don't know how to use, even if it is pepper spray or anything like that. Weapons ideally should become a part of you, MA or not. There are street fighters out there that use a knife more effectively than some Masters in MA because they use it to live! And always take note of your surroundings, be constantly aware, this does not mean being nervous and panicked. This means as you exit the builiding take a complete survey of the surroundings, are there bushes and trees obscuring anyones view of you and it is in a dark corner? Or something less noticeable such as your car parked between two others where someone can hide on either side? Be situationally aware of what is going on around you, if something does not "Feel right" this is your survival instinct kicking in and you should be aware that it is trying to say: Watch out here.
Scary thing about that is, most times it's just my paranoi. How do I decipher? There's been times I felt something wasn't right and it was just my own heightened awareness. Ie...seeing or hearing things that aren't there. Thinking I'm being followed when I'm not. But yea..I get the jist of what you are saying!
You know the mind is complex subject. What thoughts go through someone's head can affect their body. I know that if you are worried about something, it can make it hard to sleep at night, eventually you can get sick from all the stress. One of the police officers that trains with us is very much interested in the practical side of martial arts, but he told me that it is good to be doing something... just doing something physical can help keep the mind focused and give it a break from stress. Let me tell you something I feel is important. Fear is a natural reaction, fear never goes away but what happens is that you find MORE IMPORTANT THINGS than being afraid. We had one woman that came into training and did not want to be hit or get hit. She was afraid to train the way we do with heavy contact, but she really liked what we did. She started learning martial arts just doing forms and light to no contact. It took her about two years but by that time she was taking the hits and dishing them out the same as us. She is now 2nd degree black belt in Kajukenbo and she probably hits harder than I do. Mess with her and maybe she will knock you out. Does she still get afraid at times, yes, definitely. Does she accept the fear? Yes, but she does not dwell in it. She had more important things to do than be afraid all the time. She has a family to raise and protect, she has a life to live. Because she slowly was brought through the pain of training, she did not fear pain as much as accept it. Because she realizes that at anytime her number could be up, no one lives forever, she does not fear death as much as she accepts it. But she is smart and does not invite death either. I don't know if this helps you, but frankly, when your number is up, it is up and all you can do is accept it and deal with it the best you can AND never give up. Life is like a giant craps game, all you do is hopefully put the odds more in your favor that you will come out of something better off than before. Nothing is a sure thing. Find what is important to you, make those things your priority, give yourself a break from living in fear because you don't have time for it. P.S. If you absolutely can't find something really important to you... then do something... stay busy.
