Justice? Really? I must have a different perception of it than my local court system

This is a rather long story that has a lot of details but I will try my best to sum it up.

About 3 months ago I started seeing this women. I am a single father of 4 and she is a single mother of 2. She was separated from her husband. She is an old high school friend. We reunited at of all things a high school reunion. I say she is separated because she did not have money for a divorce and he would not pay for it. She was in the process of trying to build money for a lawyer to do the divorce. The lawyers in the immediate area would not even draft it until she had paid them up front. (That is another issue entirely, Lawyers). So I began seeing her. One day her kids were at my house playing with my kids. They mentioned staying all night. It was fine with me. So they stayed.

Next thing I know at 2:30 AM there is a loud knock on my door. It was her ex. She opened the door and went outside. He was screaming at the top of his lungs. This woke the kids up. I look out the window and see him raising his hand like he was going to hit her. I say calmly “Please quite down, you are waking the kids. He states “That *******” and bolts towards the door. I say “You are not welcome in my house” Before I get the door locked he pushes through and tackles me.

Trying his best to punch me he misses and misses. I played defense (now I’m wishing I didn’t). The reason being kids were watching. She yells at him to stop and think about the kids. He simply says I don’t give a …… “ He continues and gets one punch in below my eye. My reaction was to laugh, which understandably ****ed him off more. This entire time I’m just asking him to calm down and leave. She calls the cops. He pushes her and says “Way to go ….. you just cost me a DUI” He leaves on foot. Blocking my vehicles in. (This costed me $75 to have towed out of my driveway because the cops could not do anything about it).

He is charged with burglary, simple assault, two counts of harassment, criminal trespass, disorderly conduct and public drunkenness (I believe endangering the welfare of a child should be on it also). The initial court appearance comes (this is not the trial, just testimony before hand. Which he can plead not guilty or guilty at this time), and he pleads guilty and the burglary charge is dropped. However the arraignment comes and he changes the plea to not guilty. This entire time he is out walking the streets. No punishment at all.

While walking free he gets into more trouble. He punches a hole through a wall on a weekend he has the kids. The city cops do nothing. The next day he beats the crap out of his mother who is the middle person for the kids. (He has a no contact order for me and kids mom). So now there is no middle person, because she was granted a PFA on him. So in essence the kids mom has no way of not violating the no contact order without violating the custody agreement and vice versa. Their mother tries to get a PFA for kids based on what he did to his mom and from the anger issues of putting his fist through the wall. It is denied by the judge.

He files for contempt because she is violating the custody agreement. She previously had contacted a lawyer (from another county who has agreed to take payments) and he and child services said they did not want them to go with him. They had a hearing today on the contempt. Guess what. She has no choice but to release them to him despite the fact that he has been in trouble a few times for violent crimes. He walked away from court with just harassment and an order for anger management classes for the assault on his mom. Despite having been through anger management 3 times before.
Now much of what I know really doesn’t constitute proof but his own kids have made statements of how much he yells at them, hits them, etc. Their mom has said many things on how mean he is (which is expected). Her son did not know what to do when I was playing with him. It was like he was never approached in a fun way and did not know an adult could play. They ask for lunchables and peanut butter and jelly for dinner, cause that is what they had at dads. (I only seldom do things that easy for dinner, generally it is a meat, vegetable, fruit, and something else, with milk or water. I also greatly limit sugar, salt and butter.)

It really ticks me off that a person like him can get away with all this stuff. It’s no wonder people have the attitude of getting even in this area, because the justice system certainly doesn’t give them confidence that they will get justice. He is going to preliminary trial on Jan 10th. They will offer one more time for burglary to be dropped and the rest to remain. Thing is I had to threaten to sue the city. They were going to drop more but I told them from the start I would not do so and I was going for the max jail time and max time probation afterwards.

Nobody comes into my house and threatens me. Next time perhaps I should not put my faith in the justice system and I shouldn’t play defense. I did say one thing to the cops and the court officials. If he ever shows up at my house again they will be dealing with a lot more. I will not play defense again.
Again a lot of detail is missing but you get the point. Am I nuts in thinking that the local justice system is failing miserably?

 

Oh I generally don't put this kind of thing out for all to read but I'm wondering if you all agree with so many around me. Most people think he should be in jail and should have been before now.

 

I think this is a amazingly complicated situation that could really become even more intense. Good Luck

 

agreed

not very clued up on US law, but if it happens again i'd suggest restraining him and having the police arrest him on the spot. getting him caught in the act might make the dropping of charges a bit less of an issue (or then again it might not, but i would assume it's worth a try)

good luck mate

 

This isn't really registering with me... The courts sided with the male?? Am I getting that right?

That being said, the courts are not infallable.

 

Criminals ought to be executed.

That is all.

 

@ BlueDragon 1981

That is a crazy story and yet quite sad, I would loathe that to happen to me or anyone that I know but one question:

How did he know where you live?

I hope your not in a position where you are being played off against one another, but by the sounds of your account that you would have been in the right if you had "restrained" him :evil:, although due to the circumstances with children around (his children and yours) witnessing the whole debacle, you played it wisely as it could have turned nastier had you retaliated, thank god he wasn't armed though.

On another note:

Men beating up their mothers can't say I would have too much to say to that guy if we ever met that kind of stuff really pushes my buttons.

 

this stuff really annoys the crap outta me, I got out of my relationship with my controlling evil sandan ex - bf (who acts all innocent like he didnt do anything to cause me to be mad at him and break up) Now I suffer from depression again (i had it before too), take anti-depressants, and am taking a break from karate and the courts did not do anything for this girl, your gf, I'm so sorry mate, I hate it when men hurt women, and i hate it even more when they dont take any responsibility or appreciations of the hurt they caused.

I can't help, but I can offer my sympathies to you and your gf and your families.

 

Courts are tied up with serious assaults and other high profile crimes that they can successfully prosecute. Sometimes it's easier to overlook less "serious" cases (at least until they escalate) due to a lower chance for successful prosecution. Or in this case get some charges dropped in order to speed things along. It's a damn stupid system but I can understand why it exists. The legal system has limited resources and so not every case can be given the right level of attention.

 

Damn bro, I'm not going to condone you doing anything by your own hands but in my opinion, when the "right way" to go about things wont cut it, then it's time to deal with it in another means. I'll be damned if I let somebody do that to me or people I care about. There are reprecussions that would come back on your end for taking care of it, but that's also how well you go about doing it. That type of thing gets somebody hurting or dead in my book. No excuse for it. Hope things turn out better for you man and the whole situation works out.

 

In my state you can legally shot them in that situation (breaking into your home and assulting you I mean...not for him beating up his mom...though, come to think of it, you probably should be able to!).

 

Sometimes the courts make no sense!!

Had a mate have his teeth kicked in by a lad as 4 others held him down. They had mistaken him for someone else and turned themselves in to the police the next day.

Seems the court felt that they were sorry enough and they were given a small fine and let go. No jail, not required to pay for dental repairs, nadda!!!

Back home I am sure that GBH, especially pre-meditated and planned, even if mistakenly carried out on the wrong guy would have meant some jail time.. darn I wanted them to all meet 'Bubba' in the showers...

Sometimes it makes you wonder who is protected by the system!

powchoy

 

I can try to help you understand a bit, as I work LE in Pennsylvania, but this is just going solely off of what you told us here and what I know. Naturally in any situation like this there's often a lot more than we know at this time.

If you don't have signs posted saying no parking and a warning of illegal parkers being towed, most of the time officers can't tow a vehicle from private property. There are exceptions, but this is a general rule.

Endangering the welfare of children more comes down to cases of abuse and neglect, or living in deplorable conditions. If being a jerk around your kids was a crime, there'd be a whole lot of people in jail and a lot of kids without parents.

Chances are if he hasn't been in trouble before, most people tend to get ROR (Released on Recognizance) rather than pay bail if they're generally law abiding and have a job. ROR does come with restrictions though, and though there is no punishment now the charges are still pending. Changing his plea to not guilty was a bad move on his part though, as it sounds like they would drop the burglary if he plead guilty. Since he didn't, they could come back and hit him with it again.

Though it's obvious he's a jerk, there's nothing really illegal about this either. I can go punch a hole in my own wall right now and nothing will happen, because technically it's my wall. I can do whatever I want to it.

So he has a no contact order to avoid your lady friend, and a PFA against him by the mother, but still custodial rights? In that case a deputy sheriff or similar can be on scene to exchange the kids. This way there's no violation on either part.

Sadly that sounds like mostly a civil issue, though the harassment is most likely also due to his mother. In domestic violence cases, what the victim wants to do is often what the DA goes for, and if the mother didn't want to pursue assault charges but wanted him to work on his temper, that's what they would go for.

These are things she should bring up at a custody hearing. Written statements from the kids would be useful.

They can put in the recommendation, but ultimately it falls down to the judge.

In cases like this, where criminal and civil justice collide, things can get messy. You can be a victim criminally but turn around and now are the defendant civilly from the same person who committed a crime against you. It's a pain in the butt to be sure, but with patience and keeping at it, you'll see things through and you should get some degree of satisfaction.

 

I don't know if you've seen the sopranos? But perhaps he could go into "witness protection"?

 

You shouldn't have told the police anything about your intentions. If this happens again and you give this guy a tanking, you will be in the wrong. Because it's premeditated.

My advice is get some dead bolts on your doors with strong hinges. Tell your lady friend not to be so stupid and open the door to an angry drunken idiot again. I know that sounds harsh and unfair. But people like that can't be reasoned with. You can't talk them down.

Keep the front door locked and secure and call the police. If he then breaks in you're within your rights to protect yourself, your property and the other occupants.

Sorry you're having this trouble. I hope this idiot gets what he deserves. Incidentally it doesn't sound as though social services are doing their job. They should not be allowing a violent drunk to take charge of children. The assault on their grandmother is proof they are at risk in his presence. You should press that issue.

 

Thanks for the responses.

He has been in trouble before and it was for harassment and assault with the assault dropped. He has been through the anger management classes 3 times. I would think that is a sign they aren't working.

Anyway.... i am trying my best to restrain myself. Fact is I don't even mention him or say anything bad about him in front of his kids or my kids for that matter. Yet he grills his kids on what is going on.

I also think the judge is off his rocker a little. He said that the fact that his new girlfriend who just got out of jail and was a heroin addict had no bearing on if the kids were with him or not. Excuse me what parent would want their kids around someone like that.

Nobody around me thinks he should be free, yet the court system does. (By the way there are a lot of people getting off on things because they are cutting costs and don't wish to keep the people in the jail, which cost more than having them free, so you can probably attribute some economic factors into this also even though they say that does not have any bearing on the cases.)

 

See if you can launch a complaint about the judge. Clearly he isn't showing sound judgement in this case. If this guys new girl friend is an addict that will have a bearing on how social services treat the case. Make sure they know about this girl friend.

This problem is a definitely one where you'll need to fight smarter rather than harder. Best of luck to you dude.