It's All In Your Head

March 26th - April 2

Whoops. Was supposed to update this yesterday.

So I've done a week of nothing but laying around, because my balance is all screwy, my neck and back has been messed up, and the combination of the two make the front left part of my head buzz and give me migraines.

The situation has been getting progressively better. Before writing this I had woken up and cooked something to eat and stood around the kitchen for a bit and took the garbage out. This is the most activity by volume (about 15 minutes) I've done in a week, and I started feeling terrible. Neck isn't killing me as much, but the balance issue certainly makes me nauseous and creates all kinds of tension in my neck/head to compensate. Got an appointment for the 15th to start getting the issue sorted out, most likely my inner ear on the left side.

In the meantime, I'm sick and tired of feeling messed up and trying to progressively push through it bit by bit. I give up, because it hasn't been helping me one bit. Go ahead and judge me, I don't care.

 

April 2nd - April 9th

Not a whole lot to write. I haven't been doing much other than laying around, MAP, and school work. I have started to try and move around a little more, but I'll still feel like I'm walking on a cloud or pulling left a little bit if I try to move around too much. Definitely having disorientation issues still. Appointment on the 15th at the VA Hospital, hopefully we can start getting this stuff resolved soon.

While I have kept the mobility gains in my neck, if I'm sitting upright or walking around I have a lot of tension and can feel it in my face and head. Started doing light stretching and massage again yesterday, hopefully it will help me out a bit with the disorientation.

My log is pretty lame right now, lol. The good thing is I feel "normal" in my head and body if I'm laying around. I'm hoping this means I have a physical issue in my ear or neck that accumulates to a migraine/head issues only because of my brain working overtime to compensate/make sense of the disorientation and neck issues rather than my head actually being messed up so much it's a significant problem. Time will tell.

 

The disorientation first began during deadlifts - which would be on 20 March?

It seemed to progressively get better but between that post and the 3rd April post the disorientation/vertigo worsened back to the level that you described in your 26 March post?

.

Is this correct so far?

Just to clarify, you were not having these same sorts of off-balance, nausea, vertigo symptoms before 20 March?

What about this?

Are you still having these? What else, besides loosing your concentration, do you recall right after having this experience? Any numbness to one side of the face or other? Limbs on one particular side of the body seem 'heavy', or not functioning? Slurred speech?

 

You generally have everything right. When I was initially injured I had vertigo/disorientation so bad I was urinating in bottles. This persisted over a few months but got significantly better. It went from being dizzy laying down, to only getting dizzy while moving. The way they test for balance bewildered me a bit, because they tested it while I was standing still. I did "really good" as far as the balance tests went, but I would have random moments while walking around where I would lurch.

Ever since then I've always had random moments of slight disorientation. For example I might be on a walk and the rocking side to side with each step would feel amplified. It would be enough to make me stop doing activity, but it wasn't something that would happen with clear consistency. I may be wrong about that, but I haven't paid a ton of attention to the dizziness since it hasn't been really bad.

After the deadlifts (about an hour after) my neck/back went really screwy, clicking and popping and the dizziness was about 40% of what it was when I was initially disabled. It was pretty bad and enough to bring on a migraine. When I discussed this with the neurologist and my concern about it being month 10 of recovery and still not being able to be physically active, he seemed to think that something wrong with my inner ear could be causing the dizziness and along with my neck/back the problems could be exacerbating the head injury. Since the brain has to work a lot harder to compensate for normal functions due to the suspected causes of dizziness and the neck injury, I'm probably straining my brain a lot more than usual.

I think it's a strong possibility that this is the cause. I haven't done much of anything but school work since the deadlift incident, and although hit took a good week and a half to start feeling somewhat normal again, I haven't had any clear issues with my head. I mentioned that the front left side of my head bothers me during migraines (it feels really foggy/tired), and I haven't had that issue at all since I've been not doing anything. All in all, I have a lot of moments of "I feel completely normal right now" moments until I get up and start moving around. When I get up to do things the severity of dizziness and my neck vary in intensity, but it's always there. The disorientation isn't nearly as bad as it was a couple weeks ago, and I reached a point where I would start getting up to do things again, but I haven't.

I don't know what's up at all honestly. It just sucks. I might end up going down to Fl with my parents in the summer (wife will hate this). My dad has some friends at the VA there and knows the head neurologist at the VA hospital personally. They'll also have more time to take me to regular appointments as well. My wife will be busy studying for the BAR exam during the summer anyways. I just want to get better, and I honestly don't think the anxiety issues is the crux of the problem anymore. I think I might have convinced myself of that a little too quickly. I don't feel any sort of fear to get up and try and do anything anymore, I just know that when I do it's going to suck.

 

I know from experience how important seeing the right doctor is.

Not all doctors are created equal, and finding the right one can make all the difference.

 

I know I haven't been around much, but it's been a good thing. Just thought I would mention I've been doing really great lately. Still have some anxiety issues, neck has a few kinks but I have full mobility back, and I can be pretty independent now!

I'm now divorced, renovating and buying a home, and getting ready to start working and working out at the start of next year. Couldn't be happier (unless the pharmacy doesn't get my anxiety meds to me on time, which has super bad withdrawal side effects xD).

Just thought I would drop that for anyone interested in how I've been doing, especially since the community here has been so sportful of me during the whole process! Sorry I was absent for a while!

 

Good luck to you brother.

 

SO glad to hear you're healing well, comrade! I've been concerned. Sorry to hear about the divorce mess, but hope you make it though the ordeal as unscathed as possible. Cheers, dude!

 

Well, didn't know as ... someone ... ahem, don't return emails :whistle:

Anyroad, glad to hear you're doing okay. Have you had any relief from the nightmarish migraines that put you on your back for days? Hope so.

 

Thanks for being so "sportful" to me guys . . . . . . lawd I'm so disappointed in myself for that and I can't edit because it was stickied!

I've been browsing around lately so I guess I'll put another update here now that it's been a year later.

Things are going pretty well although I haven't been able to start getting into working out as quickly or as intensely as I would have liked. The good thing though is that I have got a good grip on managing my anxiety and have decreased my medication. I can count myself reliable and dependable at work, as well as do physical labor regularly without it causing me any issues (which is important being that I'm part owner of a construction company).

Last year was basically working up to being able to stand on my own two feet and take care of myself. This year is going to be about starting to enjoy life again and getting back in shape. Getting in shape has been a bit tough for me! It turns out spending nearly two years laying in bed isn't great for your neck. Although I'm to the point where I can do physical labor with manageable issues, whenever I try to deadlift my traps get all screwy (neck area strains are a trigger for my anxiety too). Mostly I've just been doing extra laboring at work when I can, and walking (fast paced, not strolling). I've dropped about 35lbs in a month and a half along with major diet changes so I guess that's good. I'm hoping to be getting back to some kind of martial art next year some time.

Time will tell. Hope all is well with everyone

 

I only just came across your blog mate. Glad you are doing better.

I had concussion before and I would get bad migraines. Tai chi really helped me, as did yoga. They would clear up quickly once I done some work. I think what really helped was it was correcting my posture. From my understanding bad posture can really amplify symptoms associated with certain brain injuries.

Power to you for your recovery, keep up the great work.

 

Glad to hear you're on the mend, mate! Looking forward to your full recovery and regaling me with stories of your epic greatness in the ring.