Ok ill try. Ill say this, i look hideous in TMA outfits. The only one that looked even remotely good is the Bujinkan one and that was because it was all black.. My biggest issue is self confidence and self image. I have hated my self for more then 20 years. How do you change that?
There's a really good book analyzing the components of the top successful companies (by some very narrow criteria). It's called Good to Great by Jim Collins. In it when they are analyzing the CEOs during the companies' successful periods they found a some common characteristics. Here are two: 1. They assign blame to themselves and credit to others 2. They confront the brutal facts So the brutal facts in your case seem to be that: -you're carrying a high level of body fat -you don't like your body composition So if you want to adopt characteristic #1... it is (barring a a glandular problem) your fault. But, and this is key, you have the ability to change it! You have a goal, you seem to have a plan, so get to work and when you run into a rough patch there are plenty of people here willing to keep you motivated and help you through
I have self confidence issues too. It is something that takes time. For me, it is something I will probably be working on my whole life. I can say I am better at it than I was before. Recognizing negative patterns and making a conscious effort to change it is a major component. For example: My instructor pointed out that whenever another instructor asked how my workout was, I always said something about how I thought I did badly. I didn't even notice I did that until she pointed it out to me. So now, I catch myself and make a point to find positive things about how my workout went too. Stuff like that.
Thanks for the imput guys. I am trying to make progress on my weight. Its maddening sometimes. Im considering paying for private trainer sessions. Cant seem to find a regular partner for the Y.
See if you can find a kobudo dojo. Many of the weapons are similar to FMA stick fighting, such as ni tonbo. Try to find a place that does regular sparring/partner drills. IMO, weapons training is even more abstract than open-hand and you have to do it "for real" to really understand the technique.
