Internal MA Joke...

Discussion in 'Tai chi' started by Syd, Nov 25, 2003.

  1. Syd

    Syd 1/2 Dan in Origami

    A Buddhist/Taoist monk walks into a Pizzaria and say's...

    "Make me one with everything!"

    Feel free to post any MA jokes you liked below. :D
  2. nzric

    nzric on lookout for bad guys

    After a big search on Google, I have to say there's a severe lack of tai chi humour on the net. Anyone good at making up jokes?
  3. YODA

    YODA The Woofing Admin Supporter

    .... When he got his pizza he handed over $20.

    "Thank you" said the vendor, and turned to go.

    "Hey! Where's my change?" said the monk

    "Change must come from within" :p
  4. Syd

    Syd 1/2 Dan in Origami

    Nice one Yoda! ;)
  5. natxanadu

    natxanadu Banned Banned

    Two Taoists went into a bar with a rabbi and a priest. The rabbi said to the priest, When we go to Heaven, we're allowed to leave. The priest said to the rabbi, when we go to Hell, we're stuck there. The Taoists said nothing, we're not going anywhere
  6. natxanadu

    natxanadu Banned Banned

    What did one Taoist say to the other? Nothing
  7. ns_oni

    ns_oni Valued Member

    just wondering (not because of this thread), but why does taichi get so much criticism?
  8. natxanadu

    natxanadu Banned Banned

    there are lots of cowboy teachers who are not really qualified to teach the art, but do, therefore tai chi in the west has degenerated into some airy fairy new age moving meditation thing, rather than a martialart.
  9. Syd

    Syd 1/2 Dan in Origami

    Because most people only understand and validate things they can see and are addicted to instant gratification.

    Taijiquan is a noble art that demands a lifetime from it's practitioners to master. Most people aren't that committed to anything, apart from breathing.

    The very nature of Taijiquan as a martial art evades the bluster and showyness of many other martial arts and thus attracts criticism for seeming reluctant to prove itself in sparring events.

    Many Taiji schools are their own worst enemy by believing that push hands competitions have anything to do with real fighting. This gives credence to some external stylists opinions that Taiji practitioners are feeble and not combat realistic... I would agree in many circumstances.

    Allot of the confusion comes from the fact that Taijiquan is a large fraternity and within it there are many different schools and Styles who to varying degree's place an emphasis on various things and none are unified in their influence.

    Some schools emphasize pushing hands and competitions, but not real combat. Others are only interested in the health benefits and Qigong, while others are totally dedicated to Taiji as a complete system which includes combat, healing and health generally.

    I really feel that some designation needs to be made between these attitudes in schools at times rather than just blanket Taiji. I think we need to distinguish between Taiji schools dedicated to Combat and those dedicated to health or competitions only.

    Myself? I am a member of the Combat fraternity which also includes the healing and Qigong aspects. This is to me what Taijiquan as a balanced art is only ever really about and without one or the other this is not Taijiquan. Sadly allot of Taijiquan falls into the unbalanced category and this is where I believe much criticism is brought to bear.

    It is difficult to stand by and watch an art which you practice be seemingly made a bit cheap by others claiming the same art by the same name at times, but thats the nature of our very large fraternity. It just requires a little bit of closer analysis in order to understand the variations within it's bounds.

    All of the above shows a total lack of understanding of what Taijiquan is and is not, by most peoples standards.

    However, I believe Taiji is slowly beginning to earn allot more respect from external stylists and again this proves that education is an important phase in starving ignorance.

    Best, Syd
  10. zun

    zun New Member

    Hi ns_oni,

    I sadly agree with all that Syd has written above.

    The form that most practise is a version of taiji designed purely for health with very little, if any, combat elements.

    There are students who without fully mastering the art decide to teach. Their students may then go on to teach. In this way, taiji is diluted.

    Though this is occasionally the case with other MAs, it appears to be most prevalent in taiji - especially as practioners solely seek health benefits.

    It is very difficult to find a respected knowledgeable taiji teacher.

    I believe criticisms levied at taiji can be levied at most MAs that have gone mainstream. For instance, I also practise Muay Thai - and had many assume this is the same as Tae Bo! There are many posts here criticising McDojos in external MAs, such as TKD, Karate, etc. - the practioneers (or in some cases teachers) of which cannot spar or combat.

    I believe that educating through media such as these forums, via our friends, and demonstration we can begin to dispel many of the myths that surround taiji.

    Unfortunately, I have witnessed on occasions, many, esp females, who attend our taiji classes to obtain the health benefits only to turn away once they realise that taiji is a MA.

    Sometimes the truth is not what the student wants to hear!
  11. nzric

    nzric on lookout for bad guys

    ns_oni, if you want to know, check out an old thread I started called "Erle and controversy" and get ready to have a laugh.

    A lot of the problem is the idea of tai chi in the west. It was adopted in the 60's as a kind of mystical eastern health exercise, and many of the people who made it popular in the west were not concerned about the martial aspect, or didn't know about it themselves.

    Also, there is so much internal politics within the tai chi community about who is doing 'true' tai chi, that the art can't give a united front to it's detractors. Unfortunately, the art is being so standardised in many parts in the East, that it is in danger of being diluted from the source.

    Tai chi is a subtle art and it's the nature of the art that as you get better, your form becomes smaller and more concentrated. Many times, I have had people ask me to "do some tai chi", but it's not the kind of art where you can break out a roundhouse kick or a fancy flip.

    Another problem is that because the art deals with cultivating chi, the natural progression is to have a small minority of charlatans who talk about throwing chi power around like lightening bolts. The old masters already have stories told about them, where they are supposed to have had supernatural strength and ability to knock someone out with a thought, or become invisible, etc. All this gives a bad reputation to tai chi, as it is impossible for newcomers to take these claims (& the art) seriously.
  12. nzric

    nzric on lookout for bad guys

    Eating out
  13. Ghost Frog

    Ghost Frog New Member

    Me: Master, did you get that Word document I sent you last week.
    Zen master: No. I am free of worldly attachments.

    I'll get my coat.
  14. nzric

    nzric on lookout for bad guys

    Oh that's bad... that's really bad!
  15. yangtaichi

    yangtaichi New Member

    i lifted this one from a taichi book so repulse my monkey if you heard this one.

    how many taichi masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?


    one to screw it in and 8 to make corrections to the his form.

    when i told my sifu that one he just kinda grinned and said "read your classics!"
  16. nzric

    nzric on lookout for bad guys

    A complete idiots guide to starting tai chi:

    1. stand on one leg for a long time

    2. keep standing on one leg

    3. feel your dantien. If you need help feeling your dantien, ask an old man who is lurking around a park in the morning to find it for you

    4. wave your arms around until you feel a tingling sensation

    5. try to ignore the flies that are landing on your face - they are a test of your fortitude

    6. invent five vaguely asian-sounding 3-syllable words that you can say are a. ancient chinese regional styles, b. the names of early students of the old internal masters, or c. a secret tai chi move. Don't worry - everyone will be so impressed by the names that they'll believe you.

    7. talk about the moves you've learned - the standard is 'animal name', 'verb', 'noun', such as 'goat travels over mountain' or 'cat sits on mat'.

    8. try to wake up before 11:00am in the weekend. If you do, congratulate yourself on your mastery of the internal arts then stand on one leg in the park while bleary-eyed clubbers try to figure out if you're a figment of their imagination

    9. think of 34 definitions of the word 'internal'. State them with a knowing smile to anyone who approaches. Make sure each definition is impossible to understand by anyone but (or including) you.

    10. Perfect the supreme control of your emotions. This can be achieved when someone says "you do tai chi? oh, my grandma does the same thing at her health club"

    Also.. read this one in another thread:

    Tai chi: Standing still...but a bit faster
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2004
  17. d33pthought

    d33pthought New Member

    There is absolutely no way I can make a good joke about tai chi. I am defeated.
  18. Tribalweapon

    Tribalweapon Valued Member

    I have to say, that seems to fit the description of my first class last night.
  19. gt3

    gt3 Member

    I'll have many "pushing hands" training partners this holiday season at the mall.


    When my mother was in labor with me and the doctor was yelling 'push!', I jumped right out and said "finally, a training partner! I've been doing the solo form for months alone in the womb." Then he tried to spank me and yielded and strangled him with the umbilical cord. A taiji fighter was born.


    Why does tai chi appeal to old people so much? Because they're already moving slow!


    the next time you're in the park practicing the tai chi form and someone asks you what you're doing, just tell 'em you're worshiping the mighty snail god


    The next time you're in the park practicing tai chi, leave out a tip jar. No one will ask you what you're doing and you'll make some cash!

    Ok, these are bad but it's early :p
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2004
  20. TkdWarrior

    TkdWarrior Valued Member

    yang tai chi that was good one...

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