IF..... IF you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream - and not make dreams your master; If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!' If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, ' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch, if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son! By Rudyard Kipling.
If (By Mr. Kipling) If you can bake a cake when all about you Are burning theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust your buns when bakers doubt you, Then make allowance for their doubting too. If you can bake and not be tired by baking, Get your jam-tarts out, don't make rhubarb-pies. Don't make toast or give way to brown bread-making, And yet don't burn your scones, and you'll be wise. If you can make one heap of all your fine buns And turn them into one huge wedding-cake, Fine-sprinkle the top with hundreds and thousands, Then that would be the best cake you could make. If you can force your dough into a huge pan To serve your turn long after you are gone, Then maybe you would rather make a big flan? And don't forget to make the odd croissant. If you can bake with crowds and keep your virtue, Or bake with kings, don't lose the common touch. If neither cake nor bun-eaters can hurt you, Then fill their tums with toffee, jam and fudge. If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of baking, run… Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And—which is more—you'll bake a cake, my son!
In the interest of keeping my mysticism and raising the level of terror associated with my BANSTICK OF DOOM, I'm not at liberty to reveal the methods I use to instill fear and agony in my victims... :yeleyes:
